


OGs watch infinity war

by GraciousRandomness



Series: OG Avengers in A movie theater [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Avengers Movie Night, Avengers react, Avengers watch Infinity War, Avengers watch their movies, Fluff and Angst, Infinity War, Original Character(s), movie, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2020-02-16 04:45:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 35
Words: 59,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18684421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GraciousRandomness/pseuds/GraciousRandomness
Summary: JUST the Originals!!! (Tony, Steve, Clint, Bruce, Natasha, and Thor)Alternate title: DONT TRUST SHAWARMAI know this prompt has been done all ways to Sunday, but I never found one that was JUST the OGs watching Infinity War, without The two Petey bois or Strange or Wanda/Vision or the Guardians there- just thought it would be cool for the originals to see their futures selves with these characters without the characters actually being in the room, so they have to make assumptions about their future relationships and such.*UPDATES EVERY SUNDAY (or Monday if I end up working past midnight)*First fic, so it's almost guaranteed some characters will be OOC. Be nice.





	1. The Awakening

**Author's Note:**

> Brucie Bear and hulk have problems  
> Steve needs to adjust to society (because who comes out of the 1940s with a cultural-accepting mindset)  
> Tony is depressed  
> Nat is awesome  
> Clint is totally screwed  
> Thor is precious
> 
> OK FUCK IT THEY'RE ALL MY PRECIOUS BABIES

Shawarma is underrated.

 

At least, Tony thought so. He didn't really have thoughts anymore, you know, with only the thought of shawarma grounding him after his trip to space.

 

Bruce thought it was alright. Hulk was scoffing at how fake the Indian here was, but after you've been to India you can't really go back to having the old stuff.

 

Clint was just happy to have food. He'd been complaining about how hungry he was the entire fight. Nothing like a grumpy friend to lift the morale while fighting Chitauri, but, nobody had the heart to tell him that they could hear him grumbling over the comms, which he must've thought they couldn't hear him through.

 

Natasha was... having an unreadable expression. She's surprisingly good at that, but hey, wearing her heart on her sleeve wasn't exactly her style. Besides, her sleeve already had alien blood covering it. No room for a heart on there.

 

Steve looked like his taste buds were exploding (having Indian food after living on gruel rations in the army during World War II will do that to you).

 

Thor was delighted at the spiciness of this Midguardian food, happily announcing his love for the food before almost smashing his plate on the ground (Thank god Natasha has good reflexes).

 

 

 

Shawarma is really good, until the next morning.

 

It wasn't the spiciness- seriously, they're the Earth's mightiest heroes, they can't put up with a little burning in their mouth? Maybe Steve couldn't, but that's not the point.

 

Shawarma's fine until you wake up in an unknown location (surprisingly movie-theater-esque *wink wink*) with no idea how or when or why or HOW you got there.

 

Natasha woke up first. _Of course she did._

 

"Was I drugged?" boomed a great voice directly in Natasha's ear.

 

Well, that would be Thor.  _Shit,_ Natasha thought,  _if Thor was right behind me and I didn't realize, and he SCARED me, I seriously must be out of it._

 

"Well, maybe we just got super drunk yesterday? Maybe? The problem now is what the HELL did we do while drunk? It couldn't have been good..." Clint mumbled to himself in the back. "Oh god..." he gulped, "Hey, do any of you remember what happened, because if anything happened, I would like to know ASAP!!" Nat just stared at Clint, who stared right back. Nat thought she heard him mumble something about how Laura would kill him, which made Nat smile inside. Laura would definitely kill Clint if he did anything. She made sure to file this incident away for future blackmail purposes.

 

"No, I don't think it's even physically possible for Hulk to get drunk." Bruce grumbled,  nursing an arising migraine in the corner of the room.

 

"Yeah, hangovers definitely don't feel like this. They feel like a drill, and this feels like a hammer. I would know." Came Tony's voice from the back.

 

"Great. This isn't the first time I've woken up after having a ton of drugs pumped into me unwillingly," Steve said with ZERO sarcasm in his voice.

 

All the heads in the room whipped in Steve's direction, just as Steve realized what he just said.

 

"Uh, that's a story for another time?" Steve mumbled.

 

 _What a bunch of bumbling idiots,_ Natasha thought,  _Guess I'm in charge. Nope, no room for guessing. I AM in charge._

 

"Well, what's the last thing people remember?" Natasha asked.

 

Bruce looked at Thor out of the corner of his eye. "Shawarma?" he said.

 

Thor nodded and looked at Nat. "Shawarma." He echoed.

 

Natasha gritted her teeth. "Well," she claimed exasperatedly, "let's not go to that restaurant again. Shawarma was drugged."

 

"I knew we couldn't trust the Indian-derived food," Steve said, getting a dirty look from Bruce, to which he shrugged and said, and I quote, "What? This seems like a Nazi-like thing to do. How do we know it wasn't the Indian government?"

 

"Well, whatever went down while we were out of it, let's pretend it didn't happen and go home. Now, where's my damn bow?" Clint looked around worriedly.

 

Bruce shot up from his spot in the corner. "Oh god, oh god, ohmygodohmygodohmygod..." Nat could see the beginning of an anxiety attack from a mile away.

 

"Hey, Bruce, it's alright. What's going on?" Nat plastered a smile on her face.

 

"Yes, Banner of Doctors, what seems to be your problem?" mixed with Tony grumbling, "Yeah, what's up with you buddy?" in the back.

 

Banner turned and stared at Natasha with a weird, half-broken, half-scared look. 

 

"I can't sense Hulk."

 

"What?" Natasha was actually somewhat impressed. Man, whoever got them knew what they were doing.

 

"It's just he's not, he's notinmyheadandIcan'tsensehimwhat'shappening!?!" Bruce was hyperventilating by now. "He's just gone and he was a part of me and I feel EMPTY!" he practically shrieked the last words.

 

While Nat calmed Banner down, Thor looked around. "Where is my trusty Mjolnir? I shall get us out of here." Thor stuck his hand out, grasping at nothing, for over a full minute while Clint and Tony just stared. 

 

"Uh, should something be happening?" Tony grumbled. "I already tried to summon my suit, but not even your alien magic can save us now. God, we're so fucked," Tony said, with no real emotion.

 

Thor stared at his hand and frowned. "I am not getting Mjolnir."

 

Clint started grumbling, "Yeah no shit" when a voice rumbled around.

 

** _"Yes, neither your Earth Tech nor your Asgardian magic/science duo will work here, because none of you are really... here. Also, I don't like being compared to Nazis, Steve, God  you can be rude."_ **

 

Clint jumped out of his skin, "THE FUCK?!?"

 

Tony was slightly behind him, chanting "I am crazy. Knew it would happen soon. Space did that to me today." Tony looked like he was smirking slightly at what the voice was saying, though. Steve looked very similar to a kicked puppy.

 

Bruce, who was slightly calmer, asked, "Who are you.."

 

Thor drowned him out, "ANNOUNCE YOUR NAME OR FACE THE WRATH OF THE AVENGERS!!"

 

Nat was the the only one with common sense to keep quiet. Her teammates have obviously not been in a kidnapping situation before.

 

**_"Well, I am a being of power in this universe. You are lucky I even am spending my time with you guys. I could just mess around with the Guardians of the Galaxy, they're way more easygoing than you- oh yeah, you don't know them yet. You can think of me as the... author of this universe."_ **

 

Thor furrowed his eyebrows at this.  _Guardians?_ he thought,  _surely I would have heard of such noble Guardians that have saved the galaxy._

 

**_"Thor, do not worry, they do not exist yet, but I will show them to you. OK, to get to the point, the reason I have you here is for my entertainment. I've seen into your futures, and they are interesting. So I will show them to you. Seeing the future will help prevent a world-wide devastation. But, I am not cruel. If you want to leave, the exit is in the back of the room."_ **

 

*door woosh sounds* A door opened in the back of the room.

 

_**"I put it in movie form too, to make it more interesting and because one of my personas is an inspiring photographer studying for her degree. The movie starts in 15 minutes. You can leave now, but once the movie starts, you can't leave."**  
_

__

_Then the voice said, in almost a whisper,_

 

_**"I turned off Hulk because your futures are quite triggering. Seeing them hurts like a buttcheek on a stick. Am I a Gen Z kid now? I think I am."**  
_

 

Silence.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"WHAT THE FU-"

 

"WHAT IS A BUTTCHE-"

 

"WHERE IS MJOL-"

 

"WHAT'S A GEN Z KI-"

 

 

 

 

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Natasha screeched. 

 

Nat then turned to the Avengers.

 

 

 

"We're staying. If there's a chance we can prevent a world-ending catastrophe, we have to take it. WE are the AVENGERS. THIS IS OUR  JOB."

 

_**"I am so delighted by your decision. This future takes place in 2018, so there will be people you won't recognize. That's OK. You will learn to like them throughout the movie."** _

 

Nat slowly said, "We're watching it. Start the movie."

 

_**"OK, fine bossy. Also, I will make comments throughout the movie, deal with it, OK see you later skaters."** _

 

Tony just mumbled, "Why does this voice have to be a teenager."

 

Clint said, "I think that what gen z kids are like." Steve just shook his head a mumbled to himself, probably questioning his existence. Bruce certainly was.

 

Nat managed to get one more eye roll in.

 

**_"OK lights out time let's do this."_ **

 

And the lights went out.

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Ha you thought just some more exposition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We learn some more about or disembodied floating voice of a narrator.
> 
> No movie in this chapter. They literally make it to the MARVEL STUDIOS logo. not joking, skip this is you feel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know I had to do it to em

They all quieted down.

 

 _Marvel Studios_ , the screen flashed.

 

"Anyone heard of Marvel Studios before?" asked an exasperated Stark, but was quietly shushed by the rest of the team, but not before Thor bellowed,

 

"THIS MARVEL STUDIOS IS UNKNOWN TO ME."

 

The movie paused, and the voice came back on.

 

_**"I am impatient, you know, can y'all shut up the beginning is really important. You know what, I don't like being your personal PA system. I think I'll join you in a physical form."** _

 

Everybody but Tony immediately whipped their heads around the room for a sign of this person. Tony was still thinking in his mind, too distraught about the betrayal of the shawarma and the whole space thing, not to mention being KIDNAPPED, so yeah, this disembodied voice's physical form couldn't really bother him right now.

 

A teenage, 16-17 year old girl waltzed in, skipping every few steps, much to the bewilderment of the entire group.

 

"Sorry," the girl grinned sheepishly, "There's a guy a couple galaxies over with a really awesome mix-tape i'm listening to in my head. Playing Hooked on a Feeling by Blue Suede, you know the one, right? I'm a sucker for 70's and 80's music." She continued skip-waltzing, swaying, and mouthing to her own head until she plopped down in a seat right next to Clint.

 

"Hey, Clint, right? I like your name, it's unique. It suits you. Therefore I like you. I dub thee my movie-watching partner," she said, making gestures like she was knighting him.

 

Clint looked at the other gaping Avengers (even Tony, now) looking slightly pleased at himself but still surprised because HOLY FUCK this STRING BEAN of a kid was an all-powerful being.

 

Clint took a closer look at his newly appointed partner. She had brown hair, pulled back in a  _really_ messy ponytail, with no makeup on and purple glasses. She didn't exactly look like an all-knowing, beautiful, goddess as they were expecting, she just looked like a dopey teenager. She was wearing a pair of gray jeans, with a red tank top that was way too long on her.

 

Thor exclaimed, "WHAT IS YOUR NAME AND HOW OLD ARE YOU?"

 

"Well," she started, "I am about 250,000 million years old."

 

"That's not the right name for the number," mumbled Tony and Bruce at the same time.

 

The girl gave them a weird look. "Aren't all names just made up? 'A rose by a different name would smell just as sweet.' Is that the quote? I think I fucked it up."

 

Natasha scoffed, and said, "What, you read Shakespeare? Did you go to high school? Find the Romeo to your Juliet?" obviously trying to stir a reaction.

 

The girl turned around, smiling, and said, "I'm not a savage, of course I know about Shakespeare! And no, I didn't go to high school but they girl who I am copying is currently a junior. She doesn't have a boyfriend, but someone likes her and she doesn't know yet. She is also the meme queen of her school. Trying to fit the persona, you know? Also, don't- with the Romeo and Juliet references- Romeo is such a creepy obsessive stalker in that play."

 

Natasha looked sufficiently satisfied by this answer.

 

Steve then asked, "Well, who did you copy?"

 

To which she said, "I wanted to see Niagara Falls, so I went, then stopped in Buffalo for some wings, saw this girl... Laura?" Clint bristled slightly. "Lauren? something like that. I thought her style was cool," she tapped her finger to her head, "so i remembered later so I could copy. Seemed the least threatening persona to you guys, the least likely for you to attack. For your information, it was this or a Jabba the Hutt looking slime monster who looked soo super weird that I had to remember it."

 

Clint scoffed, "Sorry to break it to you, but your style sucks."

 

The girl then out her hand to her chest in mock betrayal, "Movie partner! How could you! I feel betrayed on a deeply personal level. I feel assaulted."

 

Steve gave her a worrying glance, and said, "Look, I'm sorry, if you're feeling assaulted, I apologize for Clint..." while the rest just stared at her dumbly.

 

The girl looked confused then her face lit up as she explained, "2017 humor. You'll understand. When you get there."

 

Everyone then turned back warily to staring at the screen, which still had MARVEL STUDIOS on it.

 

The girl was just about to unpause it, and of course someone had to speak.

 

"What is your name, though?" Thor said. Tony could be heard audibly groaning.

 

"My name is too long for casual convos. The name of this girl's soul is Laurel. Call me Laurel, then."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Laurel is not my real name, just a heads up, but I am from the Buffalo area. Duff's wings are the best, if you like Anchor Bar's better, sue me
> 
> I did not base the appearance off of me either, just tried to put a nerdy looking teenager in there.


	3. Wow shocker we actually start the movie??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get angsty here! This is the first half of the Asgard Ship scene- from the very begininng to When Loki says "We have a Hulk."

_In the last chapter:_

 

_"What is your name, though?" Thor said. Tony could be heard audibly groaning._

 

_"My name is too long for casual convos. The name of this girl's soul is Laurel. Call me Laurel, then."_

 

_\--_

 

Bruce watched with a curious face as Laurel got comfortable, feet strewn on Natasha's lap, which surprisingly, she didn't try to fight, and head on Clint's shoulder, as he was her "chosen movie partner." Whether that was a blessing or a curse, Bruce thought, was to be seen.

 

"Anybody got any last dying, burning questions before we start?" Laurel asked, waving her hands and summoning a large bag of cheesy popcorn by simply waving her hands.

 

Tony thought about it for a while. Wouldn't hurt to ask, right?

 

 

 

 

"Does anybody die?"

 

 

 

The room stiffened, the air suddenly becoming tense, waiting for the answer.

 

 

Laurel didn't move her head, but slowly made eye contact with Tony.

 

 

 

 

"Yes."

 

 

 

 

 _Oh God,_ Steve thought,  _That can't be good._

 

Laurel then turned to make eye contact with Steve.

 

 

"That's why I brought you here. To prevent this. Because I care about you too much."

 

Steve nodded silently, and stared at the screen, deep in thought.

 

"Well, what else could we lose?" Thor said, "Let us watch, and prevent this."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  ***Crackle***

 

**"This is the Asgardian refugee vessel _Statesmen._ We are under assault, I repeat- we are under assault."**

 

Everyone turned to Thor as he frowned. The  _Statesmen_ was built for really traumatic events, but there were better, safer places on Asgard- whatever had happened here must've been really bad to come to this extent. It was under assault, too? What did Asgard do? They were peace-bearers in the galaxy!

 

Laurel frowned and, abandoning her popcorn, went to Thor, and sat next to him, leaving a slightly betrayed looking Clint behind.

 

"W-what? I thought I was your partner!" Clint sputtered.

 

The look that Laurel sent his way could wither even the most optimistic person. "Trust me," Laurel said, "I have seen the future. Thor will need my support more than you right now."

 

Steve and Natasha exchanged a look. If Thor needed support in this scene- well, nothing good could come of this.

 

Tony looked pale, Laurel noticed. Almost worried, but not for Thor.  _Ah yes,_ Laurel realized, _S_ _pace is a problem for him right now._

 

"Shhh, Tony, it's alright," Laurel soothed. She received a confused, almost daring look, as he didn't take well to child-looking figures soothing a man. Quite embarrassing for him really. Laurel waved her hands, and a calm descended over Tony's head, like a blanket, making everything inside warmer, and more secure-feeling. Tony gave her a thankful look. Sure, being soothed by a literal teenager got him a few weird looks, but at least he wasn't going to have a panic attack in front of his new colleagues.

 

Bruce swallowed thickly- he knows this won't end well. "Please resume the movie."

 

**"The engines are dead-life support failing. Requesting aid from any vessel within range. We are 22 jump points outside of Asgard."**

 

Thor screws his face up in thought. Could Ragnarok have happened? The end of days? Oh nononono NO

 

Laurel sadly responds to his thoughts- "Yes, Ragnarok occurs. It is for the best though-trust me."

 

Thor slowly nodded, but couldn't wrap his mind around it. How could the destruction of Asgard- be good? HOW?

 

The rest of the team looked confusedly at the sheer terror on Thor's face, a stark contrast from the innocent happiness present at the Shawarma place.

 

Finally, Natasha says, in a low voice, "Thor? What's Ragnarok?"

 

Laurel, seeing Thor in no good shape to speak, answers for him. "It is the end of days on Asgard, the destruction of the planet and its people."

 

Clint stares, shocked, and whispered in a low voice, "Explains the wacky refugee vessel."

 

If looks could kill, Clint would've died even if he had 9 lives like a cat.

 

Clint mumbled, "just start again, please" to try and take the attention off himself.

 

_**This time, the voice was more desperate- "** _ **Our crew is made up of Asgardian families, we have very few soldiers here. This is not a warcraft, I repeat, this is not a warcraft!"**

 

_**The screen shows the corpses of many Asgardians- men, women, and children alike, with a creature stepping above them, weaving through the mass of bodies and destruction.** _

 

At this point, all color in Thor's face is gone. Tony shot a look at Laurel, who got the message and silently nodded. Another wave of hands later, and Thor had a similar mind-blanket as Tony. Steve saw what happened, and mouthed a little "Thank you" in Laurel's direction, who returned it with a stiff nod.

 

**"Hear me, and rejoice,"** _a smooth, crooning voice said,_ **"You have had the privilege of being saved by the Great Titan... You may think this is suffering... No. It is salvation."**

 

Steve just stared at the screen, and then at Tony. They exchanged similar "What the Fuck" type expressions- salvation? Steve shuddered. Fury had updated Steve on the outcome of World War II. He knew first-hand- genocide was not salvation.

 

Laurel winced a tiny bit, followed by a twinge of green in Banner's neck. Natasha definitely didn't let that go unnoticed. She still didn't trust Laurel fully yet; she could work for anybody- any sign of weakness could be useful against her. Natasha started a new mental folder for Laurel's blackmail.

 

**"Universal scales tip towards balance because of your sacrifice. Smile...For even in death, you have become Children of Thanos." _A tall humaniod with a large spear stabbed one of the remaining Asgardians._**

 

Even with Thor's mind blanketed, Laurel could still feel it screaming on the inside.  _Poor soul,_ Laurel thought,  _He has no idea what a shock is coming._ She managed to maintain her mental grip, however- and Thor stayed calm on the outside. She may not be able to keep him calm for the next shock, though-

 

**_The screen changes to a shot of Loki standing with the Children of Thanos, who are standing, looking at a silhouette._ **

 

The effect was immediate.

 

"THAT BASTARD!" cried Clint, not caring who heard him, "HE HAS THE NERVE TO.. IF HE EVER DARES TO RETURN TO EARTH I WILL SHOOT HIM THROUGH THE HEART!"

 

Tony was up now, pacing the back of the room, mumbling pleas and profanities, with Steve trying to calm him down- which Laurel knew would just stress Tony out more-Laurel's mind blanket not helping him in the slightest. In fact, it was gone now.

 

Laurel was definitely straining her powers. She had to let go of Tony- no matter how much he was secretly scared of space, it wouldn't matter if Hulk was out, busting around the small room. She poured all she had into Bruce, who was violently shaking in the corner, looking a sickly green. She even had to let go of Thor, and you could hear Thor shouting at the screen, confused in his emotions, scared for Loki and angry at Loki and happy that Loki was home and- Laurel didn't see anything else before she slipped out of his mind completely.

 

Steve stood there, trying to hide his anger, but his fiery eyes and locked jaw was a dead giveaway for the fury bubbling beneath the exterior of the man. He rubbed his left arm- his shield arm- absentmindedly, lost without the grounding weight of his shield.

 

Natasha managed to keep her cool, immediately recognizing that something was off. The way Loki was standing, his mannerisms, his facial expressions, they all screamed awkward.  _Now,_ she thought,  _this is interesting. Loki always took command of the situation he was in-,_ she mentally scoffed as she remember when he made people kneel in Germany-  _To see him so out of place in a group of people he should know well- they're not friends._ _Loki wasn't with their group. he was with the Asgardian refugees. Well then,_ Natasha smirked,  _he's changed. I'm not surprised._

 

Natasha was never surprised.

 

**_The camera focused on the silhouette._ "I know what it's like to lose. To feel so desperately that you're right, yet to fail, nonetheless."  _Thanos pick up Thor's struggling form with one hand, who was fighting weakly._**

 

Hulk was secure, for now. Tony should be fine- space is the least of his worries. Thor, though, he looked about to pass out. But Laurel couldn't let him. No matter how much it killed her, she had to make him watch. She sent a sorry glance in the direction of the other Avengers before touching Thor's head. He started hyperventilating slightly, but no matter what, he couldn't sleep.

 

The rest of them well, they were in shock. Except Natasha. Of course. Curiosity getting the better of her, Laurel decided to look into Nat's emotions. Just as she was about to reach them, a mental wall coupled with a killer look from Nat sent her back into her own mental plane. That was a mistake.

 

The movie just kept playing.

 

**"It's frightening. Turns the legs to jelly. I ask you, to what end? Dread it, run from it, destiny arrives all the same. And now, it's here. Or should I say, I am."**

 

That hit frighteningly close to home for Tony. In another day, another press conference, that line sounds exactly like something that he might've said... calling himself "destiny" for other people. Was he really like this man? The thought of just having a similar word choice to the guy made Tony want to just shrivel up and die inside himself. He swore to himself to not make another word choice decision like that-  _Like I tend to keep promises anyway-_ and made himself a mental promise to never, ever, EVER, speak like this crazy man on screen.

 

**"You talk too much,"** _**Thor says somberly, revealing his haircut and eye-patch to the screen.** _

 

 **** _Huh, Thor doesn't really seem one for jokes-_ Steve thought abruptly-  _Wait, is he missing an eye? How did that happen?_

 

Laurel gritted her teeth in the corner, next to Thor, who was slumped in his chair, eyes open but seemingly defeated, and she said, "Got stabbed- in eye- during Ragnarok," she gritted through her teeth.

 

Clint stayed uncharacteristically silent throughout the whole thing, looking at Natasha and then back to his lap, obviously troubled. He abruptly got up and moved to the seat next to him, that was previously occupied by Laurel, to try and sit closer to Nat. She didn't blame Clint for that.

 

_**Thanos smirked,** _ **"The Tesseract, or your brother's head. I assume you have a preference."**

 

Bruce watched the exchange with bated breath, hoping, with some miracle, that Loki had some shred of human decency in him.

 

**"Oh, I do. Kill away."**

 

Bruce released his breath.  _I'm sorry Thor, you're the first casualty. Never thought it would be you, buddy._

 

Clint whipped his head to look at Nat, whom he had been having a whisper-conversation with over the past minute of screen time. He had a shocked expression, staring at Nat in disbelief, who in turn started at the screen, lips pressed in a tight line, psychoanalyzing every movement made on screen.

 

_**Thanos stared at Loki a long moment, almost daring him to take it back, but after a fleeting moment, pressed the glowing purple to Thor's head. He immediately screamed.** _

 

 ****The entire team flinched simultaneously, and Clint was about to scream at Loki again when something unexpected happened.

 

_**Loki's face fell.** _ **"ALRIGHT, STOP!" _he practically screamed._**

 

Tony's face morphed in to confusion, along with Steve's, which changed quickly into a proud look. Clint was gaping, and Natasha had a slight smirk on her face when she caught Clint looking like a fish.

 

Thor  found solace in this small act, Laurel could tell. Enough for her to let go, so she did, immediately collapsing next to Bruce, who gave her a blank look that held no emotion but held so much meaning, and she returned a tired glance, which caused a flicker of pity to cross his face. Their attention returned to the screen as Movie Thor spoke up again.

 

**"We don't have the Tesseract. It was destroyed on Asgard."**

 

Laurel snuck a quick glance over at Thor, whose face had fallen once again from the soft smile it had once been, no doubt that the future implications of Ragnarok weighing heavily on his mind.

 

**_Loki looked at Thor with a sorry look. He raised his right hand, and in his grasp, was the Tesseract._ **

 

Steve was shaken, that's for sure- Loki had the Tesseract. Loki had the one thing they had just destroyed New York for in his possession-  _Was the Battle of New York even worth it?_ He thought bitterly.

 

**_Thor looked fondly at Loki._ ** **"You really are the worst, brother."**

 

Tony made a small scoffing noise at the back, and Natasha and Clint could visualize his smirk from the front of the room. Thor raised his head to look at the screen.  _Loki saved me, he can't be all bad-_

 

**"I assure you, brother, the sun will shine on us again."**

 

Thor snapped his head around, not believing what he heard.

 

Loki called him brother.

 

Loki.

 

Brother.

 

_Loki._

 

Thor smiled to himself, and saw Laurel turn and smile too, but it was a sad smile, a premonition- she knew something he didn't. But that's OK. Thor's happy with Loki and that's all he needs, for now.

 

**"Your optimism is misplaced, Asgardian."**

 

**"Well, for one thing, I'm not Asgardian. And for another,"**

 

 

 

 

**"We have a Hulk."**


	4. We have a hulk/ Thor grieves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2/2 of the Asgard vessel scene.
> 
> Still getting into the swing of things; forgive me if I mess up
> 
> Also, those concerned for the tone of the story: If the tone of the scene is angsty in teh movie, so will the character's reactions. Same from crack and fluff. All right kiddies, lets go!
> 
> WARNING FOR ANGST

_In the Last Chapter:_

 

_Thor smiled to himself, and saw Laurel turn and smile too, but it was a sad smile, a premonition- she knew something he didn't. But that's OK. Thor's happy with Loki, and that's all he needs, for now._

 

_" **Your optimism is misplaced, Asgardian."**_

 

_**"Well, for one thing, I'm not Asgardian. And for another-"** _

 

 

_**"We have a Hulk."** _

 

 

\-----

 

 

Bruce snapped his head up from where it was in his hands.  _Hulk?_ He cried mentally?  _What is he? Why is he? WHY IS HE IN SPACE?_ He didn't dare make eye contact with the rest of the team. He might not have a PhD in psychology or have secret agent training, but he could practically feel everyone's eyes burning into him, making him flush and want to somehow go into the corner more than he already was.

 

Steve gaped openly, before Clint flashed him a look, mumbling about how Steve looked like a fish. Natasha looked at Clint proudly, but made sure to keep her eyes off Bruce, understanding the mortal embarrassment he was going through.

 

Tony tried to clear his mind. He still wasn't 100% on board with the fact that 1/3 of the team was in space. Because if they were in space, his brain automatically assumed that he was there, which Tony did NOT AGREE WITH IN ANY SENSE.

 

Clint tried to lift the mood. "Hulk never gets beaten. Not even by the Abomination, who WAS basically another Hulk. He's got this."

 

Laurel stayed staring straight ahead, gaze locked on the screen, but she glanced the tiniest bit at Clint, then at Bruce, when Clint said that.  _"He's got this." Oh boy,_ Laurel thought,  _This isn't going to be good for morale, is it?_

 

Thor gained a semblance of confidence, his mind desperately grabbing onto his last chance for victory. "Yes, Friend Banner, you are undefeated in battle, yes? You will be a great asset here."

 

_**Hulk slammed into Thanos, taking him by surprise- and slammed him into the wall, leaving a Thanos-sized dent in the reinforced metal.** _

 

Clint flashed a grin at Bruce and Tony- an almost I-told-you-so grin that left Bruce smiling and Tony confused. Well, Tony had been confused a lot lately.  _In fact,_ Tony thought,  _I'm probably at the Tower, drunk as fuck._ He knew he was lying to himself, though. In his 20-year-strong alcoholism career, a clusterfuck of this proportion had never happened. Ever.

 

Natasha looked smugly at the team. Until she made eye contact with Laurel, who was still staring at the screen, hands under her legs as she sat in solitary in the middle of the room. She didn't look happy, in fact, she looked as if she were grieving. That sobered Nat up really quickly.

 

Laurel flashed Nat a look, staring numbly in her direction.  _Crap,_ Nat thought. This girl, she may look sad, but she had still tried to violate Nat's privacy, see into her mind- the one thing  belonging to her. That can't be easily forgiven. So, Nat settled for staring at her, lips pressed, eyes narrowed- was that a flicker of guilt on Laurel's face?  _So she feels sorry, huh? I could use that. She owes me now._ She turned back around before mentally smirking. Only Natasha could somehow blackmail a powerful celestial being into a favor.

 

_**The screen switched to Ebony Maw, stopping Cull Obsidian from entering the fray. "Let him have his fun."** _

 

****Clint's smug look instantly dropped.

 

Tony warily stole a glance at the screen, which he had been eagerly avoiding looking at.

 

Laurel had been sneaking looks at all the Avengers, seeing how they would react, seeing if she needed to calm anyone.  Only Natasha had returned her look, with a glare that made Laurel wince at the anger it held.

 

Surprisingly, Steve came over and sat next to Laurel. She stared at him solemnly, who looked back, realizing then and there that this was a lost battle. 

 

Funnily enough,

 

It was a lost battle.

 

_**Hulk has his hands forcefully pried away from him, a look of surprise flashing on his face, and proceeds to be quickly defeated by Thanos, only to be lifted  up and thrown to the ground,** _ **_unconscious._ **

 

Bruce sat in the corner, terrified of this man- no, no. This BEAST fighting the Hulk, and just- crushing him? This guy- he was too powerful-- he needed to be stopped- they need to prevent this from happening-

 

Bruce sat in the corner, breath hitching every other inhale, lost in his one thought, _We need to stop this,_ which for him was one thought too many.

 

Clint swallowed- wasn't this the same guy who he watched punch a giant Chitauri just a couple hours ago? That smug guy who delightfully proclaimed, "I'm always angry," before proceeding to absolutely smash everything? Defeated?  _This Thanos guy- I must beat him. He must die, i can't let him get Cooper, or Lila, or Laura-_

 

Laurel came and sat in Clint's seat that he abandoned to sit next to Natasha. She had an obviously fake, calm face on her- but Clint, using any comfort he could get, made himself look past that. "It's alright," she whispered, "Cooper, Lila, Laura, and Nathaniel will be fine, at least in this movie. You have nothing to worry about. They are home, safe, with you."

 

_Nathaniel? Who's Nathaniel?_

 

"Your future kid."

 

_Another kid??_ Clint rolled his eyes, but still shocked, thought,  _We only planned to have two._

 

"Well, life isn't always planned, is it?" Laurel sent a knowing smirk his way, to which she received a fond eye-roll from her movie partner.

 

_**Thor than hits Thanos with a metal pipe, doing nothing- and Thor is immediately thrown aside and restrained by telekinesis, courtesy of Ebony Maw.** _

 

****Thor is not OK with this in the slightest. He was definitely in some sort of shock now- he just stared at the screen, taking in information, but not processing it- _Maybe it's better this way,_ Thor thought grimly.

 

_**The screen cuts to Heimdall, saying hoarsely, "Allfathers... let the dark magic flow through me one last.... time." The Bifrost appears, taking the Hulk away.** _

 

 Tony had by now decided to mask his emotions behind a mask of slight indifference and mild interest. "That's some good tech there. We should incorporate that into the Iron Man suit." He promptly declared.

 

Nat sent him a glare, to which he mumbled, "I mean we could put them in everybody's suit too, I guess."

 

Nat tilted her head slightly. Tony piqued her interest. Nat saw right through his mask, and knew deep down that Tony did care. But, she let Tony continue his little charade of indifference, for the fun of watching it unravel around him, she supposed.

 

**"That was a mistake." _Thanos stabbed Heimdall in the heart, cruelly twisting the blade to cause more agony._**

 

**_"NO!" Thor bellowed._ **

 

"HEIMDALL!" Thor shrieked next to Steve. Thor definitely felt something now. Grief, the grief of losing a best friend, a confidant.

 

Steve looked at Thor, who had tears gleaming on his cheeks, crying over all he had lost. Steve had seen war, seen bloodshed, and had never even met, let alone seen this man, but watching Heimdall's spirit just get- thrown away like the rest of the Asgardians- a pang of sad emotion traveled down Steve's spine at the thought.

 

_I need to be strong,_ Steve thought,  _for the group._ He made his way over to Thor.

 

"Hey, Thor, it's OK- just remember, this isn't real, this is what we are here to prevent, all right? This will never happen, not on our watch."

 

"Yeah- yeah. It'll be OK." Bruce mumbled to himself. He slowly got up and made his way to sit next to a miffed looking Tony.

 

**"YOU'RE GOING TO DIE FOR THAT! mmph-" _Ebony Maw shut Thor's mouth with more telekinesis._**

 

**_"Shhhh....." Ebony Maw said in a terrifyingly soothing voice, bringing his pointer finger to his lips._ **

 

Steve remembered what Laurel did for Tony earlier. "Laurel?" The girl turned her head to look at him. "Can you calm him down, maybe?" She grimaced slightly, and waved her hands.

 

"For now."

 

**_Ebony Maw kneeled in front of Thanos._ "My humble personage bows before your grandeur. No other being has had the might, nay, the nobility, to wield not one, but two Infinity Stones. The universe... lies within your grasp." ** _**Maw presents Thanos with the Tesseract.** _

 

_**Thanos crushed the Tesseract, before picking up the Space Stone from its remains, and adding it to his gauntlet.** _

 

Tony screwed up his face in thought. "Well, the Tesseract is still on Earth. I say we chuck it out, destroy it. So this whole.." He gestured at the screen, "situation doesn't happen. Sound good?"

 

Steve nodded, "I wouldn't just throw it away, but that's a good start, yeah."

 

Tony's smirk turned to a real smile before quickly turning back to the screen.

 

**"There are two more Stones on Earth. Find them, my children, and bring them to me on Titan."**

 

_There are two more stones on Earth?_ Clint thought,  _We gotta track them down._ He voiced his concern to the team.

 

"Way ahead of you there, man. Just the question of where, now- Hey Banner, did you see any more gamma anomalies on Earth while tracking the Tesseract?"

 

Bruce screwed up his face in thought, and replied, "I got a couple from odd places, like an Oscorp lab, and there was small anomaly in New York, but not enough to cause any suspicion to if it was the Tesseract or not."

 

"Well then, that's where we will start. And Oscorp? Really? Hey, Nat, you and me, you spy, I hack, and we take down Oscorp next weekend. How's it sound?" Tony rambled.

 

"I am not at your disposal to take down your stock market competitors. Waste of my time really, you can do it on your own, I know it." Tony was left at a loss by this backhanded compliment.

 

**"If I might interject..." _Loki started._**

 

Steve knew where this was going. "Here we go again..." he mumbled.

 

**"If you're going to Earth, you might want a guide. I do have a bit of experience in that arena."**

 

Thor looked up sadly. Maybe Loki really hadn't changed.

 

**"If you consider failure experience."**

 

**"I consider experience as experience. I...Loki... Prince of Asgard...**

 

**Odinson....**

 

**The rightful king of Jotunheim... God of Mischief... do hereby pledge to you, my  undying fidelity."**

 

Thor was confused, to say it lightly. Loki called him brother, yet did nothing while Heimdall.... perished. He is pledging his loyalty to Thanos, yet calling himself the Son of Odin!  _Well, brother, you always are one for surprises._

 

_And sure enough..._

 

**_A dagger materialized in Loki's left hand. With lightning speed, he attempted to lodge the knife in Thano's throat- only to be stopped by the Space Stone, inches from Thano's neck._ **

 

_So close, if only he had not hesitated, he could've made it-_ Nat thought, gritting her teeth at the god.

 

Thor looked proud, a slight moment of happiness breaking through the shroud of grief enveloping him.

 

_A happy moment gone too soon,_ thought Laurel.

 

**"'Undying'. You should choose your words more carefully," he said, before picking up a struggling Loki by the neck, strangling him while a horrified Thor looked on.**

 

Everyone was glued to their seats, a deathly silence settling even the most restless of the bunch.

 

**"You will never be.... a god....."**

 

 

 

_**Snap** _

 

 

 

Laurel lost her grip on Thor, who immediately bolted up and ran to where the exit had been, finding it sealed, before finally crumpling in the corner and letting out a few strangled sobs into his hands.

 

**"No resurrections this time."**

 

Steve soon rushed over to him, shouting, "LAUREL! DO SOMETHING! HELP HIM!"

 

Laurel did her best, she really did. But the grief he was feeling, it was too much to contain. So she couldn't, leaving Thor a broken mess in the corner of the room.

 

The rest of the team looked distressed at the sight of their optimistic teammate reducing to a metaphorical rubble in front of their very eyes. In less than 5 minutes.

 

Tony and Bruce looked like deer caught in headlights, not knowing what to do or say in these situations- while Steve and Laurel soothed Thor, reminding him that it's not real, that they can prevent this.

 

Clint and Natasha turned their attention back to the screen, realizing how embarrassed Thor would be afterwards. So the movie played on, in spite of the chaos in the room.

 

_**Thor crawled over to Loki's body, as Thanos teleported away with his Children, leaving a purple fire to devour the ship. Tears streaming down his cheeks, Thor thumped his head down on his dead brother's body, seemingly given up as the ship exploded.** _

 

****Clint and Natasha shared a look, a collective, _Well, shit_ face morphing their way onto the spies' faces.

 

The screen went black

 

Leaving only a broken Thor, a broken truth, and a unified team sitting in silence.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm tired I got 5 hours of sleep forgive me for the suck that is this chapter


	5. The New York Sanctum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter stage right- Dr. Strange & Wong!
> 
> Up until The Avengers screen.
> 
> Short chapter I know! I had a whole ton done but at about 5:00 it decided to wipe itself so i said screw it and did a tiny section. Forgive me!

_In the last chapter:_

 

**_Thor crawled over to Loki's body, as Thanos teleported away with his Children, leaving a purple fire to devour the ship. Tears streaming down his cheeks, Thor thumped his head down on his dead brother's body, seemingly given up as the ship exploded._ **

 

 _Clint and Natasha shared a look, a collective_ Well, shit  _face morphing their way onto the spies' faces._

 

_The screen went black_

 

_Leaving a broken Thor, a broken truth, and a unified team sitting in silence._

 

_\---_

 

The silence was deafening, only being broken by wet breaths coming from Thor, and the pacing of Bruce in the front of the screen.

 

Tony rounded in on Laurel.

 

"Why did you show him that? Don't you see it's tormenting him! Let him be and leave us alone!" Tony yelled.

 

Laurel looked away from Thor exasperatedly. "Would you rather this happen in real life? By watching this, you can STOP this? Don't you see? I'm doing this to protect you!"

 

Nat knew arguing wouldn't help- that door wasn't opening till the movie was over or they were dead. "Sit down, Stark, and help us prevent this." Tony knew better than to argue with her, so he grumbled and sat, purposely as far from Laurel as possible.

 

Clint interjected, "Hey, Laurel? Does it get more lighthearted? I don't think we can take much more depressing stuff over here." Thor gave a bark of laughter, but ended up sounding more accusatory than amused.

 

"Yeah, we get a little bit more lighthearted here. Don't worry. We ready to re-start the show?" Laurel asked, lifting the mood.

 

Bruce grimaced. "As ready as we'll ever be."

 

 

**_The camera shows New York- then cuts to a circular skylight, with metal crossing it in swooping patterns._ **

 

 _They really didn't go for suttle now, did they?_ Natasha smirked,  _I could track them down with Google Maps if I wanted to. Idiots._

 

 _**A voice cut in.** _ **"Seriously? You don't have any money?"**

 

_**The camera cut to a middle-age man in normal clothes walking down a grand staircase to a richly decorated foyer, followed by an Asian man in monk robes.** _

 

 ****Clint smirked, "There's a story behind those two meeting. Hey Laurel, do you think you can show us sometime?"

 

Laurel seemed to think on it. "Maybe," she said, "But we should finish watching this. Talk to me about it afterwards, i'll see what I can do."

 

Clint seemed not satisfied with this answer.

 

**"Attachment to the material is detachment from the spiritual," _Wong said._**

 

**_Strange replied wryly,_ "I'll tell the guys at the deli. Maybe they'll make you a metaphysical ham on rye."**

 

"Hey, guys? I kind of recognize his voice," Bruce said.

 

"Yeah," Tony replied, "I think it's that neurosurgeon? Dr. Stephen Strange? I made his team some medical tech once. Snarky guy."

 

"How'd a neurosurgeon end up talking like best buds with a monk, though?" Steve said.

 

Laurel turned, and said, "Yeah, I'll definitely have to show you his background after this."

 

Clint turned and said, "If he's here, he's important. Let's track him down. Also I like his snark. We're keeping him."

 

Cue eye-roll from Nat.

 

**"Oh, wait wait wait. I think I have 200."**

 

**"Dollars?"**

 

**"Rupees."**

 

**"Which is?"**

 

**"Uh, a buck and a half."**

 

 _How do these guys pay for anything?_  was Natasha's first thought.  _Using Indian rupees? In New York? They really are idiots._

 

**"What do you want?" _Strange said exasperatedly._**

 

**"Well, I wouldn't say no to a tuna mel-"**

 

_**The conversation was disrupted by the Bifrost, which crashed through the ceiling and into the middle of the staircase. Both men ducked down, covering their heads.** _

 

_**The Cloak of Levitation came from its spot beside the stairs, quickly fastening itself around Strange's neck as he changed into his robes instantly and he and Wong went to investigate the crater.** _

 

"Man," Clint commented, "He can switch clothes that fast, and work normal and monk clothes? He must be popular in the fashion industry."

 

Nat gave him a look that had a  _Seriously? That's what you thought of?_ vibe to it

.

Steve glanced at Tony and Bruce, who seemed to be having brain aneurysms trying to figure out the cloak. Suddenly, they turned and started having a whisper fight, which, after about 30 seconds, ended as abruptly as it started.

 

"So, nerds," Clint said through a mouthful of Laurel's popcorn, "What's the verdict?"

 

Tony replied, "We think that Strange must have a device that causes the atoms in the cloak to all align in the same-"

 

Steve cut Tony off. "English. Please."

 

Tony shot Steve a look while Bruce said uncertainly, "Magnets?"

 

"Well, whatever it is, can I have one? I think my costume would look cool with a floating cape. My suit is kinda boring," Clint said.

 

**_Strange and Wong peered over into the crater left by the Bifrost, seeing Banner, turning back to normal, green tinge still visible._ **

 

**"Thanos is coming," _Bruce said desperately,_ "He's coming..."**

 

_**Strange and Wong, who had summoned a shield, shared a look, before turning back to Banner and asking,** _

 

**"Who?"**

 

 

As Tony and Bruce delved into another whisper-argument about Wong's shield, Steve piped up. **  
**

 

"Hey Laurel, uh, I would like to remember everything, could I, uh, have something to take notes with?"

 

"Of course, here you go," Laurel said, summoning a tablet out of thin air. Steve stammered a bit, "Uh, yeah, about that, I'm not good with technology, can I just have a notepad? Thank you."

 

The tablet morphed into a notebook with a pen, with a grateful look from Steve.

 

Clint looked up, and said, "Hey, can I have a light shield and that cloak? Pretty please?"

 

Laurel immediately said no.

 

"What!" Clint exclaimed, "Oh come on, is Steve on your good side and not me?"

 

"You get what you get and you don't get upset, Clint," Steve smirked.

 

Nat leaned over and whispered, "Don't think I haven't seen those PSAs, Cap."

 

Steve's face went white. "Don't tell anyone, please."

 

Nat just looked at him, lips pressed in an amused look, before she turned back to the screen.

 

**_The music swelled, just as the words AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR flashed on the screen._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might upload another one tonight, we'll see how it goes!
> 
> Thors not in this a lot, but give him a break, he just saw Heimdall and Loki and (he presumes) himself die, so he's not exactly one to join in the laughs just yet, you know? He will reenter the fray in the next chapter.


	6. Tony dies of embarrassment (due to kid problems)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Pep's conversation.

_In the last chapter:_

 

_Nat just looked at him, lips pressed in an amused look, before she turned back to the screen._

 

**_The music swelled, just as the words AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR flashed on the screen._ **

 

\---

 

"Ooooohh, the title screen. Buckle up, this is when shit gets real," Laurel grinned.

 

Thor grimaced slightly. "Was it not real enough for you yet?" he asked in a somber voice.

 

That immediately dropped the mood.

 

**_The screen switched to a park, giving a view of the tops of the trees and a city skyline visible across the river. It was a pleasant day- chatter could be heard all around._ **

 

_**A voice cut through the rest of the meaningless noise.** _

 

**"Slow down, slow down. I'll spell it out for you," _The unmistakable voice of Tony Stark filled the screen._**

 

"Wondered how long I'd take to show up," Tony smirked, "And not even in the first 2 minutes? Laurel, your film offends me."

 

"Can it, Stark," came the unanimous tones of Clint and Laurel.

 

**_Another voice cut Tony off._ "You're totally rambling."**

 

Bruce looked at Tony. The pair weren't even on screen yet, but there was no mistaking that as the voice of Pepper Potts. Tony had a surprised smile on his face, before it turned to worry. Bruce frowned.  _Tony managed to keep a girlfriend, is he not happy?_

 

Tony was happy Pepper was still by his side, but so far, most people that appeared on screen so far didn't exactly have a perfect ending. So for once, ignoring his little spat with Laurel and swallowing his pride before asking, 

 

"Does Pepper get hurt?"

 

Laurel smiled at Tony. "No, she's perfectly fine." Her smile turned into a grin. "She does get a little... angry, shall we say, at you down the road?"

 

_Oh god, no._ Tony gulped.  _Okay, mental checklist, be nice to Pepper._

 

"Trouble in paradise, Stark?" came Clint's quip from his seat.

 

"Clint!" Steve said, half-amused, half-shushing.

 

"She's going to be OK, that's all that matters. Alright?" Laurel said, desperately trying to end the conversation. It worked pretty well.

 

**"No, I'm not,"** _**Tony bit back defensively.** _

 

**"Lost me," Pepper said, enjoying flustering Tony.**

 

_**The camera continues scrolling down, finally showing Tony and Pepper; Tony has on his nano-particle attachment over a  workout hoodie, with a jacket tied around his neck. Pepper walks next to him, wearing a matching two-piece jogger suit.** _

 

****Clint nearly choked on his own spit. "OH! OH MY GOD! TONY! Tony... you...you look like a 40-year-old dad, oh my god- you even have GRAY HAIRS!" Clint shrieked.

 

Tony screwed up his face. "Well, you must have kids then, because you rock that style every day." Tony thought it was a lame comeback, but it must have hit a nerve, because Clint immediately whipped his head around to start a conversation with Laurel.

 

Wide-eyed, Clint turned to Laurel, stammering, "Does- does he know? About my kids?"

 

Laurel nudged him. "Nah, he just thinks it's a good comeback. Doesn't know anything."

 

Clint gave a grateful and relieved smile. "Thank you," he mouthed.

 

**_Tony gestured animatedly,_ "Look, you know when you're having a dream, and in the dream, you gotta pee?"**

As if Natasha didn't already have enough blackmail material on Stark already.

 

She gave him a glance, and he wore an  _Oh, kill me now_ face. They didn't even know each other that well, to be showing such an "intimate" conversation must be mortifying. Well, Nat took what she could get. Then would usually sneak in and steal the rest, but metaphorically, yeah.

 

**"Yeah."**

 

**"Okay, and then you're like, 'Oh my god, there's no bathroom, what am I gonna do?' 'Oh! Someone's watching.' 'I'm gonna go in my pants.' "**

 

Tony  _really_ wished that future him would just SHUT UP and move on, but the conversation just moved on, with little concern over how absolutely horrified Tony was at his future self's total lack of class.

 

Bruce's grin at this exchange could be seen from miles away at this point.

 

**_Pepper just went along with it._ "Right. And then you wake up, and in real life you actually have to go pee."**

 

Clint soaked up this embarrassment of Tony, committed it to memory, and then had a brilliant idea.

 

"Laurel, when we get back, send us a copy of this movie ASAP!"

 

"What for? Personal viewing?" Laurel challenged.

 

"Yeah- no. So Fury doesn't think we are a bunch of raving lunatics that are talking about seeing the future," Steve said, but the look he gave Clint screamed that they were  _totally_ gonna re-watch the movie for fun.

 

Tony stifled a groan.

 

**"Yes."**

 

**"Yeah, everybody has that."**

 

**"Right! That's the point I'm trying to make. Apropos of that,"** _**Tony stopped Pepper, so that they were standing in the middle of the park,** _ **"I dreamt, we had a kid."**

 

Tony's brain short-circuited.  _Nope, nope, no, no way in hell, is TONY STARK, going to have, A CHILD. Maybe he could get some answers from Laurel._

 

"Is it true?" Tony inquired.

 

Laurel turned, looked him dead in the eye, smirk on her face, and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively in his direction. Well, there goes all hope for mini Stark's future.

 

Clint immediately turned around and snatched Steve's notepad, and created a list.  _Babyproof Stark Tower, Book Therapy Sessions for Stark ( & baby, why not), etc._

 

Steve snatched it back, but smiled at the list now in his notebook, and added the title _Baby Preparations_.

 

**"So real. We named him after your eccentric uncle. Uh, what was his name?"**

 

**"Right."**

 

**"Morgan! Morgan."**

 

"I can't have a kid!" Tony exclaimed, "I barely have my life in order! How will I have a kid?" 

 

Thor said, "Are you not-"

 

"JESUS FUCK!" Tony shouted,  _totally_ not forgetting that Thor was in the room.

 

Thor gave Tony a weird look. "Are you not happy? Future children are celebrated on Asgard! Is it different here?"

 

Bruce shook his head. "No, having kids is normally a happy affair. But, uh, not always."

 

"Why not? I'm sure the child Starkson would have a great existence here!"

 

Tony just sat there, massaging his temples with his fingers.

 

_**Pepper decided to humor Tony.** _ **"So, you woke up, and thought that we were..."**

 

**"Expecting."**

 

**"Yeah."**

 

**"Yes?" _Tony said, excited glint in his eye._**

 

**"No."**

 

Tony let go of a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

 

"Not yet," Laurel corrected Movie Pepper.

 

Tony thought on it.  _Do I really want a kid? I'm in no shape to have one now- I'm a raging alcoholic, I'd end up too much like Howard-_

 

"Shh, Tony, your thoughts are wrong. You will be a great father to your little girl," Laurel soothed.

 

Tony smiled a bit on the inside.  _A girl, huh? Isn't that just adorable._

 

 

_**Tony shook his head slightly.** _ **"I had a dream about it, it was so real-"**

 

_**Pepper pulled the jacket loose from around his neck, tapping at the nano-particle casing.** _ **"If you wanted a kid, you wouldn't have done that."**

 

Tony furrowed his brow. Since when was his arc reactor triangular. And Pepper? Why would she assume he had a choice in getting the arc reactor, didn't she  _understand-_

 

**"I'm glad you brought this up, 'cause this is nothing. It's just a housing unit for nano particles."**

 

Tony's eyes widened,  _nano particles?_ He had been developing those for years, they had always stumped him, but it's not lime he could go to Dr. Pym for help, could he?

 

Tony lunged for Steve's notebook, who let out a yelp and then an exasperated sigh at the amount of times his notebook was stolen.

 

Bruce scurried over, interest obviously piqued and staring over Tony's shoulder as he wrinkled his nose slightly at Clint's list, furiously scribbled equations, schematics, and theories, and he happily exclaimed, "Note-taking time!"

 

**"It's not helping your case, OK?" _Pepper said, amused._**

 

**"I know. I had the surgery. I'm just trying to protect us. The future usses, and that's it. Just in case there's a monster in the closet, instead of, you know..."**

 

_I had the surgery? I got rid of the arc reactor?_

 

Tony was shocked, to say the least.

 

**"Shirts?"**

 

**"You know me so well. You finish all my-"**

 

"SANDWICHES!" Laurel cried.

 

Natasha was flummoxed. Sandwiches? Really? Of all things? Nat had half a mind to make Laurel take a drug test.

 

"2013 movie! You're so close, you'll understand it by summer next year!"

 

Steve looked at all the confused look, and Thor especially, as he was trying to wrap his head around human culture and future human culture? Too much. It may have been selfish, but Steve was kind of happy that the rest understood what he had to go through- being told references for things he didn't understand yet, being told his literal future and being confused while everyone looked at him with a pity look.

 

**"-sentences," Tony finished.**

 

**"You should have shirts in your closet."**

 

**"Yeah. You know what there should be? No more surprises. We're gonna have a nice dinner tonight. Show off this Harry Win-stone. Right? And we should have no more surprises. Ever. I should promise you."**

 

 

**"Yes."**

 

**"I will."**

 

_**Tony and Pepper kissed.** _

 

"Awwww," Laurel cooed, "You two are so adorable I could just  _die!_ "

 

Thor quickly interjected, "You want to die, friend Laurel? Might I ask why?"

 

Laurel just responded, "Humor gets very suicidal in the next 6 years. Brace yourselves."

 

Tony pondered his promise to Pepper. He couldn't promise no more surprises- he couldn't control what happened to him in the future-

 

_**Dr. Strange emerged from a portal in front of Pepper and Tony.**  _ **"My name is Dr. Stephen Strange, and I need you to come with me."**

 

Case in point.

 


	7. Back to the Sanctum part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING I PROBABLY WONT UPDATE ON MONDAYS CAUSE YOUR BOI DOESNT GET HOME TILL 8:30 PM OK THK YOUUUU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starts where we left off, ends at the beginning of the Stark-Strange snark session.
> 
> The ending kinda sucks, but I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to make it not sucky. I apologize!

_ In the last chapter: _

 

_ Tony pondered his promise to Pepper. He couldn't promise no more surprises- he couldn't control what happened to him in the future- _

 

 ** _Dr. Strange emerged from a portal in front of Pepper and Tony._** **_"My name is Dr. Stephen Strange, and I need you to come with me."_**

_ Case in point. _

 

\---

 

Always expect the unexpected, Nat was taught. Prepare for every situation, whether it be a stranger starting a conversation while you're trying to stalk someone, to that stranger having a gun and trying to shoot you with it (Budapest was quite a ride).

 

**"Oh, congratulations on the wedding, by the way,"** **_Strange said lightly, as a side note._ **

 

Tony had obviously not been taught this same lesson. He had a happy grin, not the shit-eating one he had on when he microwaved a Chitauri with his blaster, or pointed out something he thought Nat hadn't seen (emphasis on  _ thought _ ),no- he seemed truly happy, something he hadn't been in a while, Nat presumed. She was almost jealous- not that let herself admit it. She really didn't envy Stark's life- being followed by reporters everywhere- the guy was an idiot to reveal his identity, make his past public-  _ No one could ever pay me enough money to do that,  _ she thought grimly.

 

**"I'm sorry, you giving out tickets or something?"** **_Tony asked, more to provoke a reaction than as an actual question. He pulled Pepper closer to his side, and she grabbed onto Tony's arm and gaped alongside him._ **

 

Clint's mind so far this scene had just been screaming, "WHaAAAaAT!!" over and over again. His first fully formed thought slipped out of his mouth. "So, Stark's been domesticated, huh?"

 

Laurel gave out a short, "Hah!" that immediately got Tony's glare switched to her from where it had been boring holes in Clint. He than dramatically scoffed, and with a magnificent eyeroll for the history books, slumped down in his seat. Everyone knew better than to respond and egg his antics on, but Steve did flash Bruce the amused eyebrow raise that he was good at.

 

**_Strange didn't fall for the bait._ ** **"We need your help. It wouldn't be overselling to say that the fate of the universe is at stake."**

 

Thor thought for a minute. "Asgard wasn't the only civilization decimated by Thanos, yes? For the universe to be at stake, although Asgard is very important for universal balance, don't get me wrong- it couldn't have just been Asgard, could it?"

 

Laurel said, "Yeah- it's been happening for years now. Remember the Zen-Whoberis? They were another victim, one of many."

 

"I thought they died of a bad famine? Overpopulation?"

 

"No, it was Thanos and his minions he calls his Children," Laurel explained.

 

_ Odin told me the Zen-Whoberis died of normal civilization-ending events- has he been witholding information from me?  _ Thor thought.

 

Laurel heard his thoughts. "Trust me, Thor, there's a LOT he hasn't told you. Odin has his secrets, believe me. Family drama, the whole shebang."

 

"Loki?" Thor guessed at what she meant by 'family drama'.

 

Laurel rolled her eyes. "Oh GOD no. It's worse than that." She stopped explaining after that.

 

**"And who's 'we'?"** **_Tony challenged._ **

 

**_Bruce emerged from the orange portal, standing by Dr. Strange's side, before saying,_ ** **"Hey, Tony,"** **_kinda lamely._ **

 

**_Tony's eyes didn't relax in recognition, in fact, they widened in even more surprise._ ** **"Bruce,"** **_he responded, at a loss for words._ **

 

**_Pepper seemed just as surprised, but then again, who wasn't at this point?_ ** **"Hi."**

 

Bruce narrowed his eyes.  _ Why are they surprised to see me? Do the Avengers not assemble often? _

 

"How long do you think you have been in space?" Laurel responded, answering his mental question with a real one.

 

Not getting any answers, Laurel continued. "You've been in space for two years, Bruce."

 

Bruce's eyes practically popped out of its sockets. "T-two YEARS? Steve, Steve, buddy. Write that down. In four years, do not let me, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, get near ANYTHING that could let me into space. You know what? Hulk probably made that stupid decision. Don't let Hulk near any spaceship, either, all right?" Bruce said quickly, spiraling downwards until he was mumbling to himself.

 

"Yeah, I got that down, Bruce, we'll make sure it'll never happen, alright?":Steve assured, waving the notebook in the air for emphasis, with Bruce giving a grateful smile in return.

 

**"You okay?"**

 

**_Bruce didn't respond, instead opting to go in for a hug, which Tony didn't really return, in his shock. Instead, he stared right at Strange, in a wide-eyed, questioning look, that asked the question how he found Bruce and what he was doing here._ **

 

Bruce flushed a bit at the desperate need for attention his future self showed, but no matter what, he knew his future self needed a hug, and if it was from Tony, oh well. Better Tony than Clint.  _ Or Thor,  _ he shuddered. Thor really didn't know how to control his hugging strength yet.

 

**_The camera abruptly switched to Tony, now inside the Sanctum, sitting by himself on a floral couch, as Wong's voice started and the camera switched again, to Wong showing a flash of light, followed by a projection of five stones- one red, one orange, one blue, one purple, and a yellow one, which oddly, was bigger than the rest._ **

 

"EXPOSITION TIME! LISTEN UP! Steve you getting this? It's important!" Laurel shouted.

 

**"From the dawn of the universe, there was nothing. Then, boom! The Big Bang sent six elemental crystals, hurtling across the virgin universe."**

 

"What! That has no sound scientific background!" Tony protested. 

 

"All of chemistry and atomic physics is broken by this! What about conservation of mass? Show me evidence!" Bruce said, miffed.

 

Bruce and Tony's shouts about obscure scientific theories started to drown out the screen.

  
  
Bruce screeching, "WHERE ARE THE STUDIES!?!" was drowned out by Nat saying in an even louder voice, "THOR IS A LITERAL ALIEN AND WE ARE WATCHING OUR FUTURE WITH A FREAKY MIND CHILD, AND  _THIS_ SURPRISES YOU?????"

 

Steve sent a sideways,  _How you doing buddy_ glance at Thor, who looked slightly offended, but didn't say anything. Instead, he sent a sad look at Nat, who didn't care what Thor thought of her, from what Steve could tell.

 

**_Wong continued,_ "These Infinity Stones each control an essential aspect of existence."**

 

_**Strange's voice took over.** _ **"Space." _The projection of the blue stone glowed slightly._**

 

"That's the one Thanos took at the beginning, right?" Clint said.

 

"Yeah, mark that down Steve. He has the Space Stone, and the purple one, right now," Laurel said.

 

**"Reality," _A blood-red stone lit up in a similar way to the Space Stone._**

 

**"Power," _The purple stone also glowed, before returning to its non-glowing state._**

 

"So he has the Power Stone, too? How did he even get that? Laurel, care to explain?" Tony asked.

 

"He got it from the Nova Corp, nothing too interesting. Gotta keep this movie watchable, you know."

 

"The fate of the universe is on our shoulders, but you decided to omit important information to make it more  _watchable?_ I'm honored that you think of us, but this is kind of important, you know," Clint grumbled. Laurel stuck her tongue out. "No fixing it now, huh? Already made it, no going back," Laurel responded.

 

**"Soul," _The orange one followed suit._**

 

Laurel made a bit of a sour face.

 

"Why the weird expression, young one?" Thor asked.

 

Laurel said, "The Soul Stone is... special. It's hard to explain, but trust me, you'll hate the Soul Stone when we get out of here." Thor frowned, not happy by the vagueness of the explanation nor what it was implying.

 

**"Mind,"** _**The large, yellow one glowed as well.** _

 

"Isn't that the one Loki used?" Bruce noted.

 

Now it was Clint's turn to get a sour face. "Damn that thing to the pits of hell, I'm not getting near that thing EVER AGAIN!" Clint declared emotionally.

 

Laurel laughed internally. "Dude, you're going to be near that thing almost everyday for 3 years. It's in the hands of the Avengers in this movie. Get used to it."

 

Clint looked both scared and comforted. "If ANY of you even TRY to pull a prank on me with it, I will PERSONALLY expose ALL of your secrets in such a painfully public way that none of you could step outside with dignity again," Nat threatened.

 

The threat seemed to hit home. Nobody dared talk back to her.

 

**_Strange put his ring fingers on his thumbs, making two triangle symbols, and slowly pulled his hands apart, opening his necklace, the Eye of Agamotto, revealing an emerald light._ "And time,"  _Strange finished._**

 

"ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED!" Laurel shouted at the top of her lungs.

 

"Hey, I understand that! That joke's in 2012 too!" Tony said, a bit smugly. Laurel wasn't having any of that.

 

"So," Laurel said, fake sweetness dripping from her voice, "you could say that... you understood that reference? Like Cap?"

 

Tony's grin fell off his face real quick.

 

Meanwhile Clint was having a shout-conversation with Natasha.

 

"See? He IS important! Let's go find him, I still want his awesome cape," Clint said in approximately 2 seconds. Nat just smiled slightly and shook her head.

 

Bruce and Thor conversed about the nature of the stones, with Bruce still salty about how science was completely and utterly broken. Thor just seemed excited that the Time Stone was in New York.

 

"Is it not OK that the Time Stone is in friendly hands? We can turn back time whenever we need to! We're guaranteed to win!" Thor exclaimed happily.

 

"No, sorry if I don't trust a raving lunatic that completely disregards EVERYTHING the universe is on a fundamental level!" Bruce retorted.

 

"Settle down children, that fact is that Strange is right and you're not. And he only has 2 PhDs, Bruce, get off your high horse," Laurel said. Bruce had the decency to look ashamed.

 

**_The screen changed back to Tony, who was paying rapt attention._ "What was his name again?"**

 

**"Thanos," _Bruce interjected,_ "He's a plague, Tony. He invades planets. He takes what he wants. He wipes out half the population. He sent Loki. The attack on New York. That's  _him!_ "**

 

"THAT WAS  _THANOS????_ " Steve finally spoke up. "We could barely deal with Loki, how can we defeat Thanos? Loki only had the Mind Stone! Oh, God..."

 

"Well, now you guys have the Mind Stone, and the Time Stone, so why couldn't you defeat Thanos?" Laurel countered. Steve didn't look any less worried, instead running his fingers through his hair.

 

"Wait, wait. Earlier, with the Zen-Whoberis, Thanos only killed half? Why are they all dead then?" Thor asked confusedly.

 

"Thanos killed half the population- the society fell into such disrepair that the rest perished from disease or malnutrition. The exact opposite of what Thanos said he would achieve. Also, they aren't extinct- there's one left. You'll meet her later," Laurel answered. Steve promptly wrote down this story.

 

**_Tony spoke to himself slightly,_ "This is it,"  _he murmured._**

 

"Wait, how do I know this is happening? Does my future self see this movie?" Tony asked.

 

"No," Laurel replied simply, knowing that it would be explained later in the movie. "Now stop with all the questions, I'll be having my Q&A session after the show," she replied jokingly. 

 

**"No telling. He has the Power and Space Stones, that already makes him the strongest creature in the whole _universe._  If he gets his hands, on all six Stones, Tony..." _Bruce warned._**

 

**"He can destroy life on a scale hitherto undreamt of," _Dr. Strange said with a straight face._**

 

**"Did you seriously just say 'hitherto undreamt of'?" _Tony said, leaning onto an old relic, and falling into snark as a coping mechanism._**

 

**"Are you seriously leaning on the Cauldron of the Cosmos?" _Dr. Strange snarked back._**

 

_***SMACK*** _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOS READY FOR SOME CRACK NEXT CHAPTER YALL


	8. Back to the Sanctum Part 2: The Crackening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strange-and-Stark Snark? YES PLEASE
> 
> Clint-and-Laurel gang up to roast the Avengers? HELL YEAH
> 
> Nat secretly approves? YEAH BOIIII
> 
> Things get serious again next chapter so enjoy it while it lasts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I just write 5 1/2 pages about 15 lines of dialogue and only got through about 10 seconds of movie time? HELL YEAH I DID
> 
> Also yeah from where we left off to "protecting your reality, douchebag" line.

_ In the last chapter:  _

 

**_"No telling. He has the Power and Space Stones, that already makes him the strongest creature in the whole universe. If he gets his hands, on all six Stones, Tony..." Bruce warned._ **

**_"He can destroy life on a scale hitherto undreamt of," Dr. Strange said with a straight face._ **

**_"Did you seriously just say 'hitherto undreamt of'?" Tony said, leaning onto an old relic, and falling into snark as a coping mechanism._ **

**_"Are you seriously leaning on the Cauldron of the Cosmos?" Dr. Strange snarked back._ **

**_*SMACK*_ **

 

\----

 

Tony gasped melodramatically. "HOW DARE HE!" he screeched at the top of his lungs.

 

Clint was casually choking on his spit with Laurel doubled over in laughter in the corner, joined by Thor's booming laughter and Nat's smirk you could practically see through the back of her head. Even Bruce was smiling at Steve, who pulled a signature eyebrow raise at Bruce back.

 

"OH MY GOD, Laurel please tell me you can send that to me when I get back, I'll do  _ ANYTHING  _ to be able to watch that goddamn masterpiece at any time," Clint asked, still coughing from nearly suffocating.

 

Laurel raised her eyebrows. "You'd do anything?  _ Anything? _ "

 

Clint responded in as serious a tone as he could muster, "Laurel. I would  _ die  _ to meet this man and watch his cape smack Tony."

 

Laurel drew herself to her full height, so she was looking down on Clint. "Then perish."

 

Now it was Tony's turn to start laugh-coughing violently. "That's  _ genius,  _ Laurel, I need to store that comeback in the archives. She  _ destroyed  _ you, Clint!"

 

Clint wasn't even fazed, instead clapping a hand around Laurel's shoulder in a proud way.

 

Okay, so  _ maybe  _ Laurel was growing on Nat.  _ Maybe. _

 

"OK, Clint, I've officially declared Dr. Stephen Strange as an important person to this future. When we get back, it is imperative that we find this man right away," Nat decided. If not for the mission, for someone to put Tony in his place.

 

Laurel turned around. "Oh yeah, about that, right now he isn't magic. Wait until 2017, or 2016 at the earliest. He won't be useful until then."

 

Clint gave what could be as close to a pout as a grown man could give. It looked utterly ridiculous on him. He looked like a 12-year-old attention seeker on Instagram with how pronounced his pout was.

 

Thor screwed up his eyebrows. "Why the look, Barton? You look like Rattatosk."

 

"OH! MY GOD! THE BURN IS THIRD DEGREE AND NEEDS TO BE TREATED IMMEDIATELY!!" Laurel yelled at Clint.

 

The rest of the Avengers answered with a questioning look as to who "Rattatosk" was.

 

"Oh," Laurel said a bit dumbly. "You don't know about that. He's an ugly, magical squirrel-looking thing. From Asgard."

 

"See! She gets it!" Thor boomed.

 

"Hell yeah I do buddy! High five!" Laurel ran up to Thor, palm high in the air.

 

Thor frowned slightly. "Wha... What is a 'high-five'?" he asked questioningly.

 

Laurel didn't care to respond, instead lowering her hand and patting Thor on the shoulder, saying, "You precious sun-child. Never change. Ever." 

 

She then spun around to a flustered Clint, who was still confused and embarrassed by being referred to as an alien tree rat, while Thor yelled after her, "But I am the son of Odin! Not the Sun! LAUREL!"

 

Natasha just snorted audibly. Bruce tried to make himself not noticeable to try and spare himself from Laurel's weird future-roasts.

 

Nat decided to pipe up. "A sun-child? Is it even possible for celestial bodies to have children?" obviously trying to trip Laurel up.

 

Laurel's thoughts turned to a certain Quill and Mantis who- let's just say- fitted the description. "Yep! Met a couple myself. They're good people!"

 

Steve floundered in the corner. Everyone let him. Maybe Tony snorted. There would be no way of knowing.

 

**_Tony stared, offended, at Strange. He then straightened himself._  "I'm.... going to allow that."**

 

"Awwww, look, Stark! Aren't you going to defend your honor? I'm actually somewhat disappointed actually... it would've been fun to see that," Clint admitted.

 

"Well, Legolas, the next time I'm going to have to defend my honor is in front of S.H.E.I.L.D when I drop you next time you need a lift," Tony replied confidently.  _Hell yeah, still got it!_ He thought to himself.

 

Bruce's eyes widened. "Well, damn," he whispered to Steve, who whispered back, "I'm not sure if he's serious or not."

 

Laurel flashed the pair a  _Don't worry about it_ face that did nothing to reassure them.

 

**"If Thanos needs all six, why don't we just stick this one down the garbage disposal?" _Tony questioned, obviously trying to bring up another topic._**

 

Steve frowned slightly. "That's a good point, why don't we just destroy them?"

 

Laurel scoffed. "You try to, doesn't really go as planned. Besides, there's only one person who can destroy the Stones on Earth right now, and at this moment in time, she absolutely hates your guts, especially Stark's. Further questions?"

 

"Can we kick Tony off the team to get this girl that can destroy the Stones?" Clint asked jokingly before being drowned out in a chorus of "NO"s.

 

"Why does she hate _the_ Tony Stark?" Tony asked, disbelievingly.

 

"Well, past decisions come back to haunt you, huh? Nothing you can do about it now, it's already done and over with. She doesn't hate you by the time this movie starts, though! She's on your team. You'll see her soon!"

 

Tony looked reassured. "Nobody can hate me for long, can they?"

 

Laurel had a  _how wrong you are_ thought, but she kind of wanted to see his reaction later.

 

Laurel made a  _Is this guy serious_ face at Nat, who responded with a blank face, emotionless. It was awkward, so Laurel quickly looked away. Nat felt self-satisfied.

 

**"No can do," _Strange replied._**

 

**_Wong backed Strange up._ "We swore an oath to protect the Time Stone. With our lives,"  _he added._**

 

**"And I swore off dairy, but then, Ben & Jerry's named a flavor after me, so..."**

 

"Wow. My lifelong dream. Realized," Tony rolled his eyes. "I'm really scraping the bottom of the barrel here, aren't I?" 

 

The Avengers mumbled and nodded.

 

"Well, nice to know I use all my best on you," he smirked.

 

Thor made an "Auuuhhhh?" noise that indicated that he didn't exactly believe Tony. "Have you?"

 

Laurel interrupted. "Not even close. HEY! EVERYONE! LISTEN UP! In the future, someone calls him Tony Stank by accident. Now run, children. Run wild with that fact."

 

If Bruce looked happy by this fact, Clint looked like a kid on Christmas that got woken up to presents the size of the room. "Anything else we should know?" Clint prodded.

 

"No... I gotta leave some things for the future, right Stank?" Laurel chided.

 

Steve almost looked thankful to be spared from hearing more nicknames.

 

**"Stark Raving Hazelnuts," _Strange interjected._**

 

**_Tony bit back,_ "It's not bad."**

 

**"A bit _chalky,_ " Wong defended.**

 

"OH! BURN!" Thor cried. "Did I use it right?" he turned towards Laurel.

 

"No, that wasn't a burn, or even a roast. I'd rate that a light toasting on the Burn Scale. If you're wondering, the highest on that scale is career-ending. Haven't witnessed one of those in almost 5 months. It was a beaut."

 

Thor looked quite disappointed. Steve just gave him a friendly pat.

 

**"A Hunka-Hulka Burning Fudge is our favorite,"**

 

**"That's a thing?"**

 

Bruce buried his face in his hands. His future self knew  _nothing,_ didn't he. Oh God, this entire thing would just be Movie Bruce catching up to the future, wouldn't it?

 

"Nah, towards the end you actually get _useful_ , Bruce," Laurel supplied.

 

Steve decided to try his luck. "Burn...?" he asked.

 

"Yeah, that was more of a burn," Laurel decided. Thor looked at Steve with a newfound respect in his eyes.

 

**_Tony seemed slightly annoyed._ "Whatever. Point is: Things change."**

 

**"Our oath to protect the Time Stone cannot change. The Stone may be the best chance we have against Thanos," _Strange continued to explain._**

 

**"Conversely,"** _**Tony re-interrupted,** _ **"It may also be his best chance against us."**

 

"I'm torn," Thor said. "The Time Stone is invaluable, we could fix things in the past, but what if Thanos gets it? We'd be dead instantly!"

 

"I'm sorry, but I say we try to at least protect it- I don't really trust these weird Stones, yet," Bruce explained. "We've never seen them used for good yet; what if the power of using it, I don't know... corrupts the wearer into doing evil deeds?"

 

Steve frowned. "This man has a Stone, and he doesn't seem that bad."

 

"Really? Seems like a grade-A asshole to me," Tony commented.

 

Laurel decided to ignore that snide comment. "Don't worry Bruce, the Stones don't corrupt the wearer. Remember, you have the Mind Stone in this timeline! You haven't used it for bad."

 

Bruce still didn't like the Stones.

 

"It would make the most strategic sense to take it into battle," Nat commented. "Using the Time Stone itself may be better protection than leaving it lying around to be stolen."

 

Bruce grumbled slightly. But, if Nat wanted it to go into battle, there was no use getting on her bad side. Bruce didn't want to upset her, anyways.

 

**"Well, if we don't do our jobs," _Strange said, obviously implying that they_ would  _in fact, do their jobs._**

 

**"What is your job exactly, besides making balloon animals?" _Tony scoffed._**

 

**"Protecting your reality, douchebag."**

 

"DAMN IT'S GETTING SPICY IN HERE!" Clint cried.

 

Steve shook his head. "WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS, CLINT!"

 

"Maybe Stark and Strange would get something done if they weren't too busy gazing into each other's eyes," Nat joined in. Laurel offered a high-five. It didn't get returned.

 

Stark was left to sputter threats and lawsuits (SLANDER IS A THING, YOU KNOW-Stark)(FREEDOM OF SPEECH IS TOO, DINGUS-Clint), until Laurel said, "Don't see any NDAs here, do you Stark? They can say whatever they choose," with an obvious wink flashed at Clint.

 

Bruce officially decided. Laurel choosing Clint as her movie partner was a match made in the pits of hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't be able to update this weekend- We have states and the whole team has to spend the entire weekend in a cramped up motel with shitty wi-fi and no privacy. Be back next Tuesday. Pray for me- I have 4 roommates with me.


	9. The Sanctum part 3: War, Donuts, and a 3-year-old robot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Up to just before Pete's intro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'VE BEEN GONE FOR SO LONG
> 
> I had real bad writer's block and I don't really like this chapter but I just had to get it uploaded.
> 
> I'm not uploading tomorrow 'cause it's my birthday and a Friday and I have a life
> 
> Finals went well for my team thanks for asking

 

_ In the last chapter: _

 

_ "Maybe Stark and Strange would get something done if they weren't too busy gazing into each other's eyes," Nat joined in. Laurel offered a high-five. It didn't get returned. _

_ Stark was left to sputter threats and lawsuits (SLANDER IS A THING, YOU KNOW-Stark)(FREEDOM OF SPEECH IS TOO, DINGUS-Clint), until Laurel said, "Don't see any NDAs here, do you Stark? They can say whatever they choose," with an obvious wink flashed at Clint. _

_ Bruce officially decided. Laurel choosing Clint as her movie partner was a match made in the pits of hell. _

 

_ \--- _

 

Thankfully, Movie Bruce always seemed to know the perfect time to pipe up.

 

**"Okay, guys, could we table this discussion right now?" _Bruce seemed to direct it at both Strange and Tony, as well as the Avengers on the other side of the screen._ "The fact is that we have this Stone. We know where it is. Vision is out there somewhere with the Mind Stone, and we have to find him now."**

 

"Vision? That's a wacky name. What's his superpower, is he a human magnifying glass?" Clint shrugged. From what Nat could tell, Clint showed a hint of.... was that jealousy? Nat saw Laurel's face and licked her lips in anticipation for Laurel's comeback.

 

Laurel couldn't deal with anyone insulting her precious little innocent laser-beam. "So what?" Laurel began. "Your name is Hawkeye. Hawks have 8 times the normal vision of a human, and can go up to 150 miles per hour, but you can't do that- Just because Vision's name is Vision doesn't mean that's his power," she finished her mini-rant.

 

Clint wiggled his eyebrows, obviously not giving a shit about Laurel calling him out, instead asking, "Why are you so protective?"

 

Laurel retorted, "Why aren't you? He's a future Avenger, I'll have you know!"

 

Thor nodded. "Well, if you praise him so highly, he must be a good ally. Where can we find him when we go back to Earth?"

 

Laurel cringed slightly in her own mind. "Well, uh, you see.... he isn't born yet, he's only 3 in this movie."

 

Steve leaped up from where he was writing a column named Vision. "OK, WE ARE NOT GETTING A CHILD MIXED UP IN ALL THIS!"

 

"No, no!" Laurel tried to continue. "It isn't like that!" If they react this way to Vision, what about when we get to the actual teenager in this movie? Jeez.

 

"HOW IS IT NOT LIKE THAT!" Steve screeched.

 

Movie Tony seemed to share Movie Bruce's ability.

 

**_Tony shifted awkwardly. "_ Yeah, that's the... thing."**

 

**"What do you mean?"**

 

**"Two weeks ago, Vision turned off his transponder. He's offline."**

 

This just caused utter confusion.

 

Steve was pacing, and yelled, "WE LOST A CHILD???"

 

Nat actually thought, and the look on Bruce's face meant that he reached the same conclusion she did. "There must be something more to this, if he's three, how could he figure out how to turn off a transponder?"

 

Thor didn't seem to care in the slightest. "We could find him with Heim-" Thor grimaced and went silent.

 

**"What? Tony? You lost another super bot?"**

 

"WHA- wait. Vision, he's a- he's a robot?" Steve stopped dead in his tracks.

 

"Yes, I would've told you if you hadn't kept screeching about ethics in the corner!" Laurel bit. Tony smirked.

 

Nat scrunched her face in thought. "Wait, another? There are two?"

 

Laurel's face twitched slightly. "Yeah, the first one didn't go so well. Had to be destroyed."

 

"Did I make them? I probably made them," Tony smirked to himself.

 

God, Laurel hated feeding his ego. "Yeah," she said, and left it at that.

 

**_Tony started getting defensive._ "I didn't lose him. He's more than that. He's evolving."**

 

"Wait, is he an AI?" Bruce questioned.

 

"Yep!" Laurel said, putting extra emphasis on the p. "A damn good one too!" She meant it as a compliment to Vision rather than Tony.

 

Tony obviously thought the opposite.

 

**"Who could find Vision, then?"**

 

**_Tony stalked off away from the small group, muttering "_ Shit," _to himself. He then cleared his throat and said in as normal a tone as he could muster, "_ Probably Steve Rogers." _No matter how hard he tried, he still sounded... off._**

 

**_Strange sighed exasperatedly._ "Oh, great," _he said sarcastically._**

 

Bruce caught Tony and Steve sharing a look. Bruce decided to say something.

 

"Wait, I mean, I know they don't like each other, but after 6 years?"

 

Laurel grimaced. "You'll see," was all she said.

 

Tony wasn't about to take that for an answer. "No! Tell us, if you would be so kind. You know, tell us what's going on so we can actually, you know, prevent it? Like you want us to?" he probed for information.

 

"Why do you think I made this movie? Shut up and listen, you nerd," she said, not caring in the slightest.

 

**_Tony sighed once more._ "Maybe, but...."**

 

**_Bruce didn't see the big deal. "_ Call him," _he said, like it was the obvious solution._**

 

"Why is this even something to argue about? Just call him, simple," Thor stated.

 

"Well..?" Laurel's voice got high pitched at the end. Thing's just weren't that simple. God, she was going to have to explain all of the Civil War to them to? Laurel quietly wished for someone to kill her.

 

**"It's not that easy," _Tony explained. "_ God. We haven't caught up in a spell, have we?"**

 

**"No."**

 

**"The Avengers broke up. We're toast."**

 

Ensue: Chaos.

 

Voices erupted.

 

"HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?" Steve cried.

 

"WHAT HAPPENED?" Tony cried similarly. He wouldn't say he cared for the team, per say, but after you have a near-death experience with them, it gives you a sense of- loyalty (Like Yinsen, he thought sadly). One that's hard to break.

 

Steve had grown up with a military mind, and bestowed a military body. The military was Steve Rogers. And rule number one in the military: Never leave anyone behind. For his future self to just abandon his mantra that he held close to his heart for so long- it was just, just- irrational!

 

Clint looked not that upset. "Hate all of you anyways! It's time I retired," Clint voiced.

 

Laurel mentally scoffed. Clint's "retirement" didn't last very long most of the time.

 

Thor at least had a solid reason. "I must've returned to Asgard, explains how I was on the Statesman earlier," he reasoned.

 

Nat, though- she wasn't surprised. She never is surprised. If the first time they met each other anything to go by, it's a miracle that this dysfunctional group even lasted anywhere near 6 years.

 

_**Bruce reacted to this open-mouthed. "WHAT?" he cried.** _ **"Like- like a band? Like the Beatles?"**

 

Bruce just face palmed. His future self was such an IDIOT! He needed to go to the future and smack his future self around a bit for him to stop being so stupid. "Am I like that all the time?" he asked.

 

"Totally. Completely and utterly," Laurel responded. "From the day you were born to the day you die, you will, forever and always be, a fantastical nerd."

 

Is it weird that that made Bruce feel better?

 

**"Cap and I fell out hard," _Tony explained._ "We're not on speaking terms."**

 

"OK, ok. Lemme get this straight. So we abandoned all our morals and had such a bad argument that we can't even speak to each other in a world-ending catastrophe? What the FUCK went down, Laurel! I need to know!" Tony shouted.

 

Laurel licked her lips.

 

"Here's the who, what, when, where, why of the situation. Listen up."

 

"What happened is that there were multiple instances of the Avengers Team causing destruction, so the government decided to put some regulations on you guys. Tony agreed, Cap didn't."

 

"The laws were passed, but Cap didn't follow them, instead placing the life of who everybody thought was a mass murderer above the law. That made Cap a criminal, technically. Tony was sent with his team to arrest them. Cap and his team defended. Huge fight. People were injured, arrested. Not on speaking terms. The end."

 

Tony and Cap stared wide-eyed at each other.

 

Clint broke the silence. "Wait, so Cap turns against the government, and Tony agrees? That's like, the complete opposite of how they are now," he noted.

 

"We can't let that happen, Tony," Steve said softly. "We just can't."

 

"Every life is worth protecting, man. Also, I hate the government so they can suck on that," Tony replied, as jokingly as he could.

 

"So, we agree?"

 

"Agreed."

 

Clint stuck out his tongue. "You gonna pinkie promise or something?"

 

Laurel scoffed. "Maybe they will. I would like to see that. Pinkie promise, guys."

 

Steve stuck out his pinkie. Tony stared at Laurel.

 

"I hate you, you know that, right?"

 

"Yeah, yeah, hate you too."

 

Tony sighed as he quickly pinkie promised with Cap. "We agree."

 

Thor looked confused by the whole ritual.

 

Bruce looked, well, like Bruce.

 

And Nat was expressing the most emotion Laurel had seen all day, in the form of a shit-eating grin at Tony and Steve.

 

**"Tony, listen to me. Thor's _gone._ Thanos is coming. It doesn't matter who you're talking to or not."**

 

_**Tony visibly hesitated, before stepping away slightly, and pulling out an old phone, while muttering,** _ **"Flip-phone."**

 

"Why do I have a crusty old phone on me?" Tony said.

 

Thor stayed silent in the back, sad again after being reminded of the death in the beginning, his own death (or so he thought), the extermination of Asgard- it all just rushed once again to the forefront of his mind.

 

**_The contact information is visible. "Steve Rogers," it says._ **

 

**_His thumb hovered over the "Call" button._ **

 

**_The camera switched to Dr. Strange, with his hair fluttering in the wind slightly._ **

 

**"Say, Doc, you wouldn't happen to be moving your hair, would you?"**

 

**"Not at the moment, no."**

 

"That's really weird. Wind inside a building? The aerodynamics don't make sense!" Tony said.

 

:Laurel rolled her eyes. "I would've thought that, by now, you would've realized that SCIENCE DOESN'T MAKE SENSE HERE."

 

Tony looked indignant.

 

**_Tony looked up slowly through the newly-Hulk-made hole in the roof of the Sanctum. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary, but a couple pieces of debris drifted across the sky._ **

 

"Debris?"

 

"What's that doing there?"

 

"Maybe it's a music festival poster?" Clint added unhelpfully.

 

"It's not," Laurel shut him down.

 

**_Tony walked towards the front door, and opened it, to the sound of screams, and people running._ **

 

"This isn't good, is it, Laurel."

 

Nat jumped in. "Doesn't take a psychology PhD to know that when people run, bad stuff is happening, Tony. Think for once."

 

**_Cars screeched by. A woman fell in front of Tony._ **

 

**"You okay?"**

 

_**The woman ignored him, but got up and continued sprinting away.** _

 

_**A car crashed into a pole near Tony.** _

 

**"Help him! Wong! Doc!"**

 

_**Bruce rushed over to help.** _ **"Go! Got it!"**

 

Bruce piped up. "This is utter chaos! Why do aliens always attack New York of all places, right where the Avengers are? Why don't they attack, like, Seattle? Nobody's there,"

 

Laurel shrugged. "Place is like a magnet for trouble, I guess."

 

**_Tony slid on a pair of glasses._ "FRIDAY, what am I looking at?"**

 

Tony scrunched his face. "FRIDAY? Why am i using an incomplete backup? Where's JARVIS?"

 

Laurel didn't answer.

 

_**FRIDAY's smooth, Irish voice played across the screen.** _

 

**"Not sure, I'm working on it."**

 

_**Tony quickly whirled around.** _

 

**"Hey! You might wanna put that Time Stone in your back pocket, Doc!"**

 

_**Strange gave no intention of following Tony's orders.** _

 

**"Might wanna use it."**

 

_**Tony turned the corner to see what they were facing.** _

 

 ****"Is- is that a giant, flying, mechanical donut?" came Clint's intelligent comment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK let's get real
> 
> Do you want me to split the battle in New York into 2 parts or leave it as 1? It'll have more dialougue and detail if split into 2 parts. Lemme know!


	10. The Amazing Spider-Man and the Not-So-Incredible Hulk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Irondad hints here ooooahohah
> 
> Also some Bruce & Hulk bonding time conviently just before the find out la problema majora about Hulk in the movie soooo funnn!
> 
> The Lint Team (Laurel & Clint) are back in full swing
> 
> And Tony slightly wants to die and so does Steve a bit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER BEFORE WE START
> 
>  
> 
> GIANT apologies for the 1.25 weeks I have dropped off the face of the planet: You deserve an explanation, so hippity hoppity and away we go:
> 
>  
> 
> It was my birthday (another year closer to my inevitable death hooray)
> 
>  
> 
> Recitals happened
> 
>  
> 
> and then we had a giant regatta for crew (in Pittsford)
> 
>  
> 
> and then Finals is a thing soooo
> 
>  
> 
> and then this Saturday I fell in front of my ENTIRE TEAM AND ANOTHER TEAM and hit my head on tarmac gave me a concussion (minor)
> 
>  
> 
> Been nursing a migraine (from concussion) all weekend (my pride too)
> 
>  
> 
> And my work deleted itself twice. In the same day. I had it done all the way to the park scene but nope but you guys deserve an upload, so here we are
> 
>  
> 
> OK THKS

 

_ In the last chapter: _

 

**_Tony quickly whirled around._ **

 

**_"Hey! You might wanna put that Time Stone in your back pocket, Doc!"_ **

 

**_Strange gave no intention of following Tony's orders._ **

 

**_"Might wanna use it."_ **

 

**_Tony turned the corner to see what they were facing._ **

 

_ "Is- is that a giant, flying, mechanical donut?" came Clint's intelligent comment. _

 

_ \--- _

 

The screen changed faster than Laurel could say, "Thanks, Captain Obvious."

 

**_The screen changed to the interior of a school bus. The camera focused on a teenage boy head down._ **

 

"Um, ExCuSe ME? How is a teenager important to us? In any way?" Tony shouted.

 

**_The hairs on the back of Peter's arms stood on edge._ **

 

"That's some freaky shit! Is this guy enhanced?" Clint asked.

 

"Yup! And I see where this is going Tony, don't rail on how young and skinny the guy is, he is an absolute marshmallow s'more and I will kill you. Got it? Good," Laurel finished.

 

"Well, damn," Tony said. He didn't push it any farther though.

 

"Hold it. You said he's young. How old exactly is this guy?" Steve asked.

 

"Hah, well, that's funny, you see.." Laurel started to half-explain.

 

"Cut to the chase, Laurel."

 

"He's, uh, he was born in 2001."

 

"HE'S ONLY 11 RIGHT NOW? IN 2012?"

 

Nat whispered into Laurel's ear. "Way to go, now he has an actual reason to screech about ethics. Congratulations." 

 

Bruce facepalmed in the back. OF F-ING COURSE there's a teenager. Why wouldn't there be. Of f-ing course.

 

Tony looked curiously at the screen. The kid is only 17 when this happens? But, uh, how? Exactly? Does he fit in? 

 

**_Peter looked up at his arm with confusion. He wildly whipped his head around to look out the window, and his eyes widened when he saw the same donut ship from earlier._ **

 

_ " _ Well, uh, we don't know exactly how he's important, he could just be a nobody! Right, uh, Laurel?" Bruce grasped for straws, trying to calm down Steve.

 

Nat decided to pull out the big card. "You joined the army when you were younger than him! Who are you to judge?"

 

Steve's face tried to contort. "Well, this is an alien invasion! Very different!"

 

"And you were in World War II! Same difference!" Tony hummed.

 

"Why are you defending Peter, though?" Laurel asked Tony.

 

"Peter's his name, huh?"

 

"Answer the question."

 

"Uh, because I don't like Steve?"

 

"You pinkie promised earlier. You don't hate him. So why, though?" Laurel teased.

 

"I don't know, because he's minor? You know, 11 years old or 17 years old depending? He doesn't need the full wrath of Cap on his shoulders."

 

Nat smirked. Tony was such a big softie on the inside.

 

**_The camera zoomed out, showing Peter and his friend Ned in the row in front of him. Peter looked around the bus wildly, before tapping his friends face, and Ned pulled out his earbud._ **

 

**"Ned, hey. I need you to cause a distraction."**

 

"Oh, god. He is important, isn't he."

 

"Accept it and move on, dude. We don't have time for you to go through the stages of grief over a 17-year-old's existence."

 

"Well, Thor, what do you make of this?" Laurel asked, noticing he had been quiet.

 

"Ah, well. He is still a growing boy, but any and all additions to the team are welcome."

 

"See? We're all good."

 

Steve shook his head violently. "For now, but I am not letting this go. And don't think I will."

 

Clint looked over at Laurel. "It's the best you're gonna get."

 

**_Ned's eyes widened comically large as he spotted the ship._ "Holy shit!" _He jumped up out of his seat, and ran to the back of the bus. "_ We're all gonna die! There's a spaceship!"**

 

**_Ned and the rest of the class (minus Peter) stampeded to the back of the bus._ **

 

_ " _ They're like Thing 1 and Thing 2, aren't they."

 

"They're better than that!" Laurel said. "Ned is Peter's guy-in-the-chair!"

 

Tony screwed his face up.

 

"You know JARVIS? Ned talks to Peter through his suit, helps him locate things, all that stuff. But, he also has a suit A.I. too, named Karen."

 

"Wait. So, he has a best friend to hack stuff for him, and a suit A.I? Where are these kids they are geniuses we should find them!"Tony managed to exhale in one breath.

 

"NO!" Laurel shrieked. 

 

"Well, why not?" Bruce prodded.

 

"Peter doesn't have his powers yet. Gets them when he's 14."

 

Steve seemed somewhat relieved. "At least he gets a normal life for a while."

 

Laurel winced a bit. Peter's life was anything but normal.

 

**_Peter sat back in his seat, and took something out of his backpack, and slapped it on his wrist like a snap bracelet. It expanded, until he had on what appeared to be a bracelet._ **

 

"PAUSE IT!" Clint shouted.

 

The movie paused.

 

"ZOOM IN!"

 

The movie did so.

 

Guess what it found?

 

The bracelet-thingies were Stark Tech.

 

Boy, was Tony dead.

 

"Wait, so he KNOWS US AND TONY HELPS HIM!"

 

"SHUT UP AND LISTEN! He was going to be a superhero either way," Laurel tapped her head, "Trust me I know. Now, the fact that he works with Stark is the difference between his life and death on multiple occasions. So I recommend you SHUT YOUR TRAP about the ethics because this is way more ethical than the other options. We clear?"

 

Tony rushed to Steve's defense the tiniest bit. "He's just worried for Peter's safety."

 

Laurel's face softened as she realized what she did. "Oh my god, I'm sorry..."

 

Steve looked a bit wounded. "It's fine. I get where your coming from it's just... I don't want him to get hurt."

 

Laurel fidgeted.

 

**_A white string shot out of the bracelet, and hooked on the emergency open window across the way, and with a quick tug from Peter, came free._ **

 

"What is that?" Tony wondered aloud. "What's this guy's hero name?"

 

"Spider-Man."

 

Tony looked about to choke on laughter. "But, but WHY though! That's such a weird name!"

 

"He got his powers from a radioactive spider."

 

"Dang, radiation always has to screw everything up," Bruce said knowingly.

 

**_The camera switched to the bus driver, the one and only Stan Lee, because why wouldn't he be?_ **

 

"That guy again? He just keeps popping up!"

 

"That's his job,"

 

"Fair enough."

 

Clint sent a confused look at what the heck that conversation just was. It wasn't answered.

 

**_Peter climbed out of the window and hung on the side of the bus, pulling on the Spider-Man mask before reaching in again and pulling out his backpack._ **

 

Bruce spoke up. "There is no way nobody saw that!"

 

"Everybody was a bit preoccupied by the floating spaceship? Maybe? To not care?" Laurel said.

 

"Does the world know that Peter is Spider-Man?" Nat asked.

 

"No," Laurel replied simply. "They would've had a very Steve-esque reaction, don't you  reaction, don't you think?"

 

"True, true."

 

**_Peter leaped off the school bus, and off the bridge, and shot a web on the bridge, swinging around, skimming his feet on the surface off the water, before letting go and flying towards the New York City skyline._ **

 

"He'll be back, don't worry," Laurel winked, knowing full well that it would only make Steve worry more.

 

**_The camera switched back to Tony, who was standing behind a car in the middle of Bleecker Street._ **

 

**"FRIDAY, evac anyone south of 43rd Street, notify first responders."**

 

**"Will do," _came the surprisingly soothing voice._**

 

**_Doctor Strange, behind Tony, waved his hands around, before sending a barely noticeable orange-sheened wall down the street_ **

 

**_He than looked to Tony to judge his reaction._ **

 

**_And the fucker winked._ **

 

"I SHIP IT!" Laurel shrieked.

 

"OTP!" Clint shouted.

 

God, did Tony want the Iron Man mask more than anything right now.

 

"OTP!" Laurel responded.

 

Is it possible to have empathy-blushing for embarrassment? Cause if so, Bruce was definitely coming down hard with a case of that.

 

"OTP!" They chanted together.

 

What even is an OTP? Steve thought hard on that. Maybe it's military speak, like, uh... opponents.... try..... protecting... something?

 

"OTP!" Nat may or may not have joined in under her breath..

 

Neither Tony nor the Doctor were being transported away to be FedExed, or whatever the Midgardians called it, so how are they being "shipped"? Thor needed a drink.

 

_**Ebony Maw and Cull Obsidian were beamed down Star-Trek style.** _

 

**"Hear me, and rejoice. You are about to die at the hands of the Children of Thanos. Be thankful, for your meaningless lives are now contributing to-"**

 

**"I'm sorry, Earth is closed today. You better pack it up and get outta here," _Tony sniped._**

 

"Damn, future me is AWESOME! To talk back like that?" Tony let out a low whistle. "I've will always be the best on the team at comeba-"

 

**"Stonekeeper," _Maw purposefully ignored Tony, only giving him a slight gesture._ "Does this chattering animal speak for you?"**

 

**"Certainly not, I speak for myself,"** _Strange replied seriously, summoning his light shield._ **"But you are trespassing in this city and on this planet." _Wong followed suit, also summoning his shields._**

 

"Oh, ouch." Laurel said with fake sympathy. Clint didn't even bother.

 

**"It means get lost, Squidward."  
**

Bruce eye rolled mentally. "Ok, Tony, do you ever know when to stop?"

 

"Hey, that's future me, not now me!" came the indignant remark.

 

"Really? Because you are exactly the same as the idiotic man on screen," Thor supplied.

 

"BURN!" Came Laurel's inevitable shout.

 

Thor face lifted. "I- I did it right?"

 

Clint sucked in a breath. "You did it very right, Thor, oh my God..."

 

Thor turned his face very serious. "Be prepared, Thanos. Your entire pathetic civilization-ending career will be ended by my 'burns' that are stronger even than Mjolnir's lightning. You shall perish," he promised.

 

Yeah, so Clint and Laurel were totally not half-dying in the corner. Completely and utterly not.

 

Even Steve couldn't keep a straight face.

 

_**Maw turned slightly to Cull Obsidian.** _ **"He exhausts me."**

 

"Honestly, same-"

 

"Shut up," came Tony's exasperated voice. All throughout his ridiculing session, he had been playing a game of Don't-Make-Eye-Contact-And-It'll-Be-Like-It-Never-Happened.

 

A game he was far too experienced at, Nat noticed.  _Far_ to experienced.

 

God, his secrets would be so  _satisfying_ to figure out. The deep, dark, juicy ones, the ones even he would keep hidden from Natalie Rushman. All it would take is time.

 

_**Cull made vaguely threatening noises that sounded like "HuAHaah-UahhaH."** _

 

**"Bring me the Stone."**

 

**_Cull made such a non-human sound that it was almost impossible to recreate._ **

 

**_He then proceeded to drop his hammer, letting gravity do all the work, which caused it to dig into the asphalt like it was a tub of butter._ **

 

**"Banner, you want a piece?"**

 

**"Not really, but when do I ever get what I want?"**

 

Bruce sighed.  _Whoop-dee-doo, it's the Hulk, round 2,_ he thought.

 

And then, because he's an idiot, then thought,  _Hey that rhymed!_

 

Laurel sent a screwed-up glance in his direction and Bruce instantly knew that she knew everything. And would never let him live that down. EVER.

 

**"That's right," _Tony continued._**

 

Thor spoke. "Well, it would be a nice confidence boost to the Hulk to pound someone into dust after the whole.... situation."

 

Steve tilted his head thoughtfully. "Does Hulk have that sort of complex feelings?"

 

Bruce glared. "Yes, he does. Don't forget, he still hates you for taking the stairs at the Tower. He will never forget. So next time he comes out, his 'complex emotions' might just be directed at you."

 

Steve raised his hands in defeat. "Alright, fine. I didn't think you'd get that defensive. Thought you hated him."

 

Bruce eyerolled. "Oh, I totally do. But, he's just a part of me, you know? Insulting him is insulting... me, I guess? But I also hate him? It's like when a sibling will hate on their sibling but punch anyone else who does it."

 

"That makes sense."

 

Bruce seemed relieved, "Yeah, it does."

 

_**Bruce then attempted to release the Hulk. He tried, and tried, grunting in the effort, but only his neck ever tinged green. Nothing more.** _

 

Bruce furrowed his eyebrows.

 

Tony brought up what everyone was thinking.

 

"Why won't the big guy come out?"

 

Laurel's eyes glistened. "Well, Tony, when someone is in the 'closet' it can be very hard to come out as different to even the people you trust-"

 

"SHUT THE F UP."

 

 

Bruce was too dumbfounded to even care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha ha that sucked SO BAD
> 
> Dont kill me also comments are my life ;)
> 
> But you guys needed an upload I couldn't wait any longer


	11. Hulk's Hissy Fit (Battle of NYC p.1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm writing this at 9:30 at night while being pounded by I<3NY commercials by my local news station because I got bored of the Internet and even my mother told me that that was a sad sight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Consistent upload times whaaat don't know her
> 
> Also your girl is going on vacation FFH style on Wednesday soooo uploading might be hard from Europe so bear with me everyone

_In the last chapter:_

 

_Tony brought up what everyone was thinking._

 

_"Why won't the big guy come out?"_

 

_Laurel's eyes glistened. "Well, Tony, when someone is in the 'closet' it can be very hard to come out as different to even the people you trust-"_

 

_"SHUT THE F UP."_

 

_Bruce was too dumbfounded to even care._

 

\---

 

 **"Been a while. Good to have you, buddy,"** **_Tony continued, trying to stall for time._ **

 

Bruce ran his hands through his hair for the umpteenth time. "OK, this is happening, it's happening."

 

"Don't make me restrain Hulk again, it's not fun," Laurel interjected.

 

"Is there even a Hulk to restrain, like where did he go-"

 

"This is the future, the Jolly Green Giant is still a part of you right now."

 

**"I just... I just need to concentrate here for one second. Come on, come on, man..."**

 

Steve picked the forgotten notebook back up, switching to a new page before thoughtfully clicking his pen for a bit. He started titling the page _Hulk has trouble_ before suddenly scribbling it out. Hulk has complex feelings, right. He turned to the next page, instead deciding to title this one _Hulk & Banner _.

 

Entry #1, of course, was that Hulk was having trouble... coming out? No. Laurel would never let that be the title. Emerging? NO. Banner was having trouble turning into the Hulk. Perfect.

 

Entry #2 was that one of the two decided to go on a joyride in space. For 2 years. For some stupid, unknown reason.

 

So yeah, major problems happening there to be sorted out.

 

 **_Tony turned to Bruce._ ** **"Where's your guy?"**

 

**"I don't know. We've sorta been having a thing."**

 

"A thi- A THING? That's IT?" Bruce turned to Laurel. "What thing? Laurel, what happened to me and Hulk, don't be convoluted."

 

Laurel shifted slightly. "It's a long story-"

 

"You can read thoughts! Can't you stop time or something?"

 

"Ah, no! I would need the Time Stone for that!"

 

Bruce grumbled, "Laurel I swear to God..."

 

"Aren't you happy?"

 

"W-what?"

 

"Aren't you happy the Hulk is going to be gone?"

 

Bruce reeled back slightly. "Hulk is- I hate him but he is me!"

 

Laurel sighed. "How about I make another movie, because I worked real hard on this one and I've had just about enough of everyone's bitching."

 

Tony slowly whistled. That was all anyone had to say about that.

 

**"There's no time for a thing."**

 

**"I know."**

 

**_Cull approached at a walking pace towards Stark, Banner, and the two sorcerers._ **

 

**"That's the thing right there. Let's go."**

 

**_Banner tried once more, but once again, didn't let out the Hulk, only a soft groan._ **

 

Nat decided to go for a different approach. Bruce tried demanding answers, so she would try asking for them.

 

"Laurel, it would really help diffuse the situation if you just told us? Please?"

 

Laurel rolled her eyes. "I will make you a promise. After this is all over, this movie, perhaps, I'll let you decide what else you want to see. Whose backstories, what will happen next, whatever. Just, I worked really hard, so stop. Please."

 

Steve nodded along. "That's fair."

 

Bruce grumbled along with it.

 

Thor didn't really give a shit.

 

And if Thor couldn't give one, then Clint couldn't give two. He was too invested in the story.

 

 **"Dude,"** **_Tony whispered, glancing at Strange,_ ** **"You're embarrassing me in front of the wizards."**

 

 **"Tony, I'm sorry- either I can't, or he won't-"** **_Bruce said exasperatedly._ **

 

"Future you seems to be taking it easier than now you," Thor noted.

 

Laurel scoffed lightheartedly. "All of the future yous have seen some shit."

 

Thor tilted his head slightly. His future self _had_ seen some complete and utter shit. His future self had seen Ragnarok, and death, and oh god- Loki, Heimdall- and that probably means everyone's dead on Asgard like Odin and Frigga and _oh gods_

 

It all came crashing back in on him again. He really, fully processed it this time. _Everything._

 

 _Everything_ was gone. No amount of lighthearted jokes could cover up this time.

 

He stayed silent in the back, hoping no one would hear his brain in turmoil.

 

 **"It's okay. Hey, stand down."** **_Tony turned to Wong._ ** **"Keep an eye on him. Thank you."**

 

**"I have him."**

 

 **"Damn it,"** **_Bruce cursed._ **

 

Bruce flushed a bit in shame. He really couldn't do it? Was he some useless shell of an Avenger in the future? To be escorted and defenseless? Just the thought of it made a wave of self-loathing hit him full force.

 

Nat could practically hear Bruce thinking from behind her. _Alright, it's time to turn on Caring Natasha._

 

"Hey, Bruce, come on, it's OK."

 

Bruce looked up, a bit flushed. "You really think so?"

 

Nat nodded. "I really think so." She then turned back around, pointedly ignoring Clint wiggling his eyebrows and Laurel smilingly knowingly. Ugh. Just the thought of Laurel knowing something she didn't gave her the overwhelming feeling of wanting to punch her in the face. Just once.

 

**_Tony pulled some strings, tightening his hoodie so it was skin-tight. He double-tapped his arc reactor, letting the nanotech flow from it across his body like liquid metal. It continued spreading, all the ways down his arms and up his neck, and on his third step, he slid his glasses off as the nanotech finished making his iconic Iron Man suit, sealing together his mask with a flourish._ **

 

Tony was gawking at his own creation. Bruce was too.

 

Thor couldn't be bothered. He had more depressing matters to think on, and besides, Asgardian technology had something similar to it for years now.

 

Nat wasn't surprised.

 

Steve really wasn't either; he didn't fully understand where technology was these days, so he just added this to the mental list of technology to check out.

 

"OH MY GOD, it looks even COOLER than I imagined!"

 

**_Just as Cull brought his hammer down, Iron Man summoned a shield, blocking the blow before getting rid of it and sharply uppercutting Cull, who shook his head slightly to get over the blow._ **

 

"That outdoes Strange's magic!"

 

"No it doesn't," Clint, the Dr. Strange supporter of the group, immediately defended.

 

"No, it doesn't," Nat echoed.

 

Tony fake-gasped. "Such betrayal! Steve, isn't my nanotech better-"

 

"No it's not," Steve said, not even bothering to look up from where he was studying his notebook somewhat lazily.

 

Tony grumbled. "See if I ever make you anything made from nanotech ever."

 

"Yes, you will," Nat said.

 

"Okay, I totally will. But still!"

 

**_As Cull renewed his charge, 4 pieces of metal unfolded from the back of the Iron Man suit before settling beside him and unfolding into blasters that together, with the repulsors of Iron Man, easily sending Cull flying back to Maw, who, with a wave of his hand, sent Cull flying down a side street, crashing into cars._ **

 

Tony gestured at the screen. "Don't try to tell me that that wasn't awesome-"

 

Laurel sent a glare Tony's way. "Tony, I swear to the gods."

 

Tony decided not to dignify that with an answer.

 

Steve was gaping slightly. Maw had no respect for his own brother-in-arms, no. His LITERAL brother, just shoving him into cars when Maw could have stopped him no problem? They really had no compassion.

 

 **_Bruce's eyes had nearly popped out of his head in the background._ ** **"Where'd that come from?"**

 

Tony stood at rapt attention, ready to glean any useful information that could lead to him building the suit early because holy Jesus did he want it, like right now.

 

**"It's nanotech, you like it? A little somet-"**

 

"Rule number one, Stark," Nat said. "Never take your eyes off the enemy."

 

**_The ground that Tony stood on suddenly flew away into the air, taking Tony with it, leaving him to zoom through the sky for a bit._ **

 

Tony didn't say anything, still disappointed in his lack of knowledge, and settled for crinkling his nose and crossing his arms.

 

_**Maw sent some uprooted trees flying towards the remaining three with a flick of his hand. Wong summoned a giant shield too protect Strange and Banner while they had a small conversation.** _

 

Nat was unimpressed. If this guy is telepathic, he really was stupid to send uprooted trees as his weapon. He literally had cars, and literally anything more deadly as a projectile than trees. Maybe this guy wasn't the great warrior he seemed to think he was. Maybe he had a god complex? Thinking his powers were too good for us? That didn't make sense either. If he truly thought he was that great, he would've attempted to coup against Thanos.

 

This guy really was an idiot. Nat sighed. She really had hoped that Maw would've been worthy of a true fight.

 

**_Strange turned to face Bruce._ "Dr. Banner, if the rest of your green friend won't be joining us..."  _Strange summoned a portal beneath him, dropping Bruce off in a nearby park. A taxi followed close behind him, but was cut in half by the closing of the portal, leaving half a taxi to almost crush Bruce before he quickly scurried out of the way._**

 

Clint clapped his hands while giggling. "This guy just keeps getting better and better! His portals can laser cut things now! Oh my god, I can't wait for Movie Me and him to meet!'

 

Laurel looked guilty. "About that..."

 

Clint turned. "Yeah?"

 

"You're not in the movie."

 

Clint immediately frowned. "What? Why?"

 

"Because you're in retirement and not important."

 

Clint scrunched his face. "I'm important!"

 

Tony scoffed. "You just keep thinking that."

 

"OK, I admit it, that was a bit harsh," Laurel said. "But, let me put it this way. You are at peace with the world and you have everything you need so you dropped out while you were ahead."

 

Clint shrugged. "That was nicer, but it's still betrayal. Also, Tony, you can be a real dickhead sometimes-"

 

"Observation of the century, there." Tony rolled his eyes.

 

_**Strange started summoning a spell, pulling his hands apart to make a line, before turning his hand to make it a circle. He then pulled back like it was a bow and arrow, just as Tony reentered the fight, using Strange's spell to help guide his repulsor. Maw started to throw a car at him, but Iron Man pushed it right back, only for Maw to cut it directly in half, letting the two pieces fly past him on either side.** _

 

 

"You know," Tony started, "Strange and I would actually make a good team if he didn't keep a stick up his a-" before abruptly cutting off.

__

Clint gasped. "Insult him one more time-"

__

"What were you going to say, Tony?" Laurel grinned.

__

"I can't say it, there are- you are a young brain. You don't need that," Tony said.

__

Laurel raised an eyebrow coolly. "I am millions of times older than you, old man. I've heard people getting cussed out way worse. And is that a gray hair? You really should get your hair dyed or someth-"

__

"You're lucky you look like a kid, anyone else would be paying for that-"

__

"Aww, do you actually care about me? How sweet."

__

Tony looked flustered. "Well, uh-"

__

"No response is needed, old man."

 

Nat just raised a cool eyebrow in Tony's direction, which was received by a  _You say anything and you're dead_ glare. Funny. Stark was threatening her. How adorable. (She planned on telling EVERYBODY anyways).

 

 _**Tony turned towards Strange.** _ **"You gotta get that Stone outta here, now."**

 

 _**Strange stared back with a fierce resolve.** _ **"It stays with me."**

 

**"Exactly. Bye."**

 

Steve frowned. "I understand that the Time Stone is an important weapon, but why can't he just teleport to somewhere not in direct danger, watch the fight through a portal and use the Time Stone where it's not in danger of being taken?"

 

Laurel thought it over. "I honestly can't tell you why. Besides, this is your future, your guys idiocy and lack of strategy is not my problem. But yeah. If Tony and Strange had time, they probably could have made a better plan."

 

Steve was filling up the notebook fast, now with a page titled "Battle Strategy & Advantages".

 

_**As Iron Man flew straight towards Maw, Maw sent tendrils of debris at Tony. He managed to dodge the first two sent his way. However, Cull, back in the fight, threw his hammer, landing a solid hit on Tony, sending him flying and crashing through buildings and tumbling across a street, straight into a park, where he hit his head on a tree and slid to a stop.** _

 

Bruce winced a little. "That wasn't a pretty hit. Are you sure you're not concussed?"

 

Tony shrugged. "I probably put safety measures in- whether I do or not doesn't really matter, does it?"

 

Bruce sputtered. "Uh, excuse me? Have you heard that getting a concussion while concussed can be fatal? Like, seriously Tony-"

 

"I meant my fighting skill, Bruce. I'm don't have self destructive tendencies."

 

"Yes you do," Nat supplied (from experience, might I add).

 

"OK fine, maybe minor ones-"

 

"Nope. Try again."

 

"Well, I- I'm sure that I made my suit well enough to take a hit to the head."

 

Clint rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, Tony."

 

 _**Bruce came running up to Tony.** _ **"Tony, you okay?! How we doing? Good? Bad?"**

 

 _**Tony somehow looked sarcastic from inside his mask.** _ **"Really, really good. Really good. Do you plan on helping out?"**

 

**"I'm trying. He won't come out."**

 

"Can I ask just one question? Pretty please? Laurel?" Bruce pestered.

 

Laurel pinched her nose. "What."

 

"Do I stay like... that," he said while gesturing to his movie self's plight, "forever?"

 

"No. If anything, after this, your guy's relationship really works out well."

 

Bruce seemed relieved to say the least, not suspecting at all what Laurel meant by their relationship "working out well".

 

_**Cull burst through the building he had thrown Tony through just seconds earlier, giving an inhuman roar before launching his hammer towards the duo laying in the park.** _

 

**"Hammer," _Tony warned, before grabbing Bruce and flying away, before landing harshly a couple feet away._**

 

"I hate being this useless, man. Normally when we have a code green I really hate it, but now that I can't turn green I think I might want it back," Bruce said.

 

"Well, you don't know you love it till you lose it," Clint said wisely.

 

"Preach!" Laurel shouted.

 

Tony screwed his face up while Clint scoffed. "What am I, the local pastor?"

 

"You really don't get it, do you?"

 

"No," Steve answered immediately.

 

"I really have half a mind to teleport myself a teenager from 2018 just to have someone who is versed in Internet culture."

 

"NO! PLEASE! I can't deal with two teenagers. Just you is too much," Tony practically screamed.

 

"Uh, ok then," Laurel conceded, knowing full well that wherever Tony goes, he picks up and adopts children, teens, and adults alike like there's no tomorrow. Let's see; Harley, Peter, Morgan, Nebula- the list basically didn't end.

 

And he was in denial about caring for Laurel. How sickeningly adorable.

 

_**Tony flew up and around Cull, blasting lasers at him. Cull deflected the beam with his shield, causing it to ricochet and blast through a tree, which started falling, and almost hit Bruce, who barely evaded the trunk of the tree and got caught in the leaves instead.** _

 

 _**Bruce desperately crawled out from the foliage.** _ **"Come on, Hulk, what are you doing to me?" _He cried desperately. He tried hitting himself to anger the Hulk into coming out._ "Come on!"  _*slap*_ "Come ON!" ** _***slap*** _

 

**_Bruce's head turned into the Hulk, but the rest of his body didn't follow suit, leaving Hulk to scream_ "NOOOOOOO!!"  _before convulsing slightly and collapsing back onto the ground, completely Banner again._**

 

**"What do you mean, no?!" _Bruce screamed at himself, obviously frustrated._**

 

"Hulk's really not having it, huh? He must be seriously pissy ifhe came out just to scream 'no' in your face about coming out," Clint observed.

 

Bruce rolled his eyes. "Him being pissy is his #1 character trait. If he had no motivation to smash, what would he be?"

 

"Well, if they ever made a live-action Jolly Green Giant commercial-"

 

"Tony I swear to god-"

 

Laurel smirked. "I used that joke already Tony. Copier much?"

 

"I hate you," he said with no real bite.

 

"Yeah, ok. Sure, old man."

 

**_As Tony kept shooting projectiles, Maw got in a good hit and swatted Tony out of the sky, sending him crashing to the ground. As Maw's hammer was about to crush Tony, it suddenly was caught by something- or someone._ **

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce you, to Queen's very own-" Laurel started.

 

_**Spider-Man peeked out from where he had caught the hammer, his eyes slightly squinting while staring at Cull.** _

 

**"Hey, man!"**

 

"-Spider-Man."

 

Tony stomped his foot. "OK Laurel. Time for an impromptu Q & A session about this guy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have two possible ideas for Endgame possibilities. One is a direct sequel to this story, where all the characters are similar and such, with continuity being a thing. Another idea is to have the Avengers watch Endgame sometime between 2018-2023, when the dusted are still dusted, and the characters are still grieving. It wouldn't just be the OGs though, people like Rhodey and Nebula, and Rocket and those who are still alive would be present. It would be interesting to write their characters, but the series would feel a bit choppy. What do you guys think? (For the second idea, I would start with a completely new character; Laurel wouldn't be there.)


	12. Teenage Arachnid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's no movie scene here, just worthless drabble. Also, I'm SO SORRY about not updating, but I was a dumbass and didn't take my laptop with me on vacation, and typing long things without a keyboard is STUPID and impossible. I get back to my house on July 7th, soo... yeah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it's not really a proper chapter, and it's kinda short. SORRY!

Chapter 12: Teenage Arachnid

  
  


_ In the last chapter: _

 

**_As Tony kept shooting projectiles, Maw got in a good hit and swatted Tony out of the sky, sending him crashing to the ground. As Maw's hammer was about to crush Tony, it suddenly was caught by something- or someone._ **

__

_ "Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce you, to Queen's very own-" Laurel started. _

__

**_Spider-Man peeked out from where he had caught the hammer, his eyes slightly squinting while staring at Cull._ **

__

**_"Hey, man!"_ **

__

_ "-Spider-Man." _

__

_ Tony stomped his foot. "OK Laurel. Time for an impromptu Q & A session about this guy." _

 

\---

  
Laurel sighed. “All these damn questions!”

  
  
  


“You can’t just leave us in the dark!” Steve complained. “Besides. He a minor, so we need his info… for his… protection?”

  
  
  


Laurel smirked amusedly. “I can’t tell if that’s a statement, a question, or an excuse. You’ll have to clarify for me.” That just got her a dirty look and an under-the-table high five from Clint.

  
  
  


“But, I guess you do have a point…” Laurel trailed off into her thoughts, “I actually don’t have his backstory in movie form. Didn’t need it for his movie.”

  
  
  


“This guy has a movie?” Clint said skeptically. 

  
  
  


“Well, yeah- pretty much everyone has one!” Laurel replied.

  
  
  


“Hold up,” Tony raised his hand in the air for emphasis. “Two questions. 1: How many movies are there, B: do I have one?”

  
  
  


“There are 24. I have 2 in progress. And you have 3 movies.”

  
  


“Hot damn!” Clint expressed. “How many do I have?”

  
  


Laurel sighed. “Well, you see, you have zero.”

  
  


Clint face dropped. “You gotta be kidding me. Wait- does everyone else have one?”

  
  
  


“Tony has three, Steve has three, Thor has three, Bruce has one, and Nat has one in progress.”

  
  
  


“Why not me?”

 

  
“Uhhhh…”

 

  
Natasha jumped in, much to Laurel’s relief. “That’s only 11. You said there were 24.”

  
  


Laurel shrugged. “There are tons of other characters-”

  
  


Clint sunk into his chair as he pouted, “But not a single movie for one of the original Avengers, huh. Not only am I not in this movie, I’m don’t have  _ a single movie.  _ Betrayal. Absolute betrayal…”

  
  


Laurel ignored that.

  
  


“So. Spidey guy. Teen bug. Backstory, how ‘bout it, huh?” Tony clicked impatiently.

  
  
  


“Ah, yes. You see, Peter’s backstory is really sad. Kind of a tear-jerker to be honest,” Laurel warned.

  
  


Bruce waved his hand around. “Nobody’s story is a cakewalk.”

  
  


Laurel rubbed her hands together in anticipation.

  
  


(*cue drum sounds before Luis talks in the Antman films. You know the one? That.)

  
  


“Alright. So, he wasn’t born with powers. His parents died when he was 4 in a plane crash, and he got sent to live with his Aunt May and his Uncle Ben. When he was 14, he went on a field trip to Oscorp. He got bitten by that spider I was talking about earlier-”

  
  


“THOSE FUCKERS!” Tony screeched. “Oscorp always ruins everything!”

  
  


Nat glared at Tony. “Stark, calm down, it’s not their fault.”

  
  


Laurel smirked. “It totally is.”

  
  


Tony turned pleadingly to Nat. “Nat, I wanna sue them.”

  
  


“No.”

  
  


“Please? You know what, I’ll get PR on it ASAP when we get back-”

  
  


Laurel lightly smacked Tony in the back of the head, followed by an indignant cry from Stark. “I know you hate Oscorp, but you shouldn’t change the future like- this. Wait until early 2017. Then I don’t care. Sue away. But not. Yet. You got that?”

  
  


Tony grumbled but quieted down.

  
  


“Ok. So after he got his powers, a robber shot Peter’s uncle in front of him. And Peter uses the guilt that he didn’t use his powers to save Ben as his main motivator to be the vigilante Spider-Man.”

  
  


“Any questions?” Laurel asked.

  
  


Bruce spoke up excitedly. “What are his powers?”

  
  


“Oh my gosh, Okay, they’re pretty cool. So, he has super-strength, super-healing, the ability to stick himself to anything, his web-shooters, enhanced senses, youthful spunk-”

  
  


While everyone admired Peter’s powers, Natasha’s subconciously scanned the list for his weaknesses. Super-healing? He has a super-metabolism. Deprive him of a bit a food and he would be defenseless. His youth means inexperience, his guilt means recklessness, his enhanced senses means he’s suceptible to sensory overloads-

 

NO. Natasha mentally scolded herself. Peter was an ally, not just another person to assess and pick off. She kind of hated herself for doing that all the time, but the training in the Red Room- it never really left her.

  
  


Thor spoke up for the first time in a while, making Laurel jump. She totally didn’t forget he was there.

  
  


“Must he wear a mask?”

  
  


Laurel gave him a confused look. “Yeah, his identity must be a secret, uh, why though?”

  
  


Thor gave a slow nod. “On Asgard, masks are a sign of cowardice. The sign of thieves that want to avoid justice. His mask makes him untrustworthy. He doesn’t want repercussions for his actions.”

  
  


Both Laurel and Tony stood up.

  
  


Laurel spoke up first. “Look buddy, if you got a problem-”

  
  


Tony cut her off. “I wear a mask! Do you not trust me? Also, Peter is totally a trustworthy person, what are you even saying-”

  
  


Nat smirked knowingly.

  
  


Thor seemed a bit overwhelmed. “No, it’s just, I- don’t like people in masks.”

  
  


Laurel gave him a bit of side eye. “Well, when you meet them outside of their masks, I’m sure you’ll love them.”

  
  


Thor gave a tentative smile in her direction. 

  
  


“Welp. Hey Clint, got any questions?”

  
  


Clint narrowed his eyes playfully. “I got nothing to say to you, you bloody traitor.”

  
  


Laurel whistled. “You’re saltier than the Dead Sea. Jesus.”

  
  


Clint grumbled and collapsed into a shapeless lump in his seat, muttering about a combination of salt and traitorous tendencies and how it was all BS.

  
  


Nat gestured at Clint. “He’ll get over it. He’s like this.”

  
  


Clint sat up a bit. “Wait, Laurel. I do have a question. How many movies does Spider-Tot have?”

  
  


“Spider- _ Man  _ has two.”

  
  


“GOD FUCKING DAMMIT-”

  
  


Bruce cleared his throat over Clint’s slight raging, and gestured at the paused screen, still of Spider-Man’. “Shall we?”   
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think after I finish this, I'm gonna maybe do a 5-part series on a different topic for some variety and then start Endgame. So I don't get bored halfway through and not finish.


	13. 13 Reasons Why (Maw is an Idiot) [Battle of NYC p.2]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once you watch the battle over and over you realize how shit everyone’s fighting strats are

_Clint sat up a bit. “Wait, Laurel. I do have a question. How many movies does Spider-Tot have?”_

  


_“Spider- Man has two.”_

  


_“GOD FUCKING DAMMIT-”_

  


_Bruce cleared his throat over Clint’s slight raging, and gestured at the paused screen, still on Spider-Man’s face. “Shall we?”_

  


\---

 

"Yes, Bruce," Laurel said while giving a glare in Clint's direction, "We shall."

  


**_Spidey looked back to where Tony was, not even struggling with holding Cull's hammer._ ** **"What's up Mr. Stark?"**

  


**_Tony rolled over from where he had been knocked down._ ** **"Kid, where'd you come from?"** **_He asked breathily._ **

  


"You call him kid? Aww how sweet..." Clint called over jokingly. Tony pointedly ignored him, even holding his head a little higher.

  


Laurel leaned over to Clint, who despite pretending to hate the guts out of her, eagerly leaned in to listen to whatever Laurel had to say on Stark.

  


"I call him Irondad." Clint burst into laughter, getting a glare from Tony, but Laurel continued. "And! And..." She said over a fit of giggles, "...I call Peter Spideyson."

  


Steve smiled slightly in the back. He knew it was bad to eavesdrop, but- this was just pure gold.

  


**_Peter kept looking, not noticing Cull coming down to grab him._ ** **"Field trip to-"** **_Cull grabbed him and flung him away, all the while with Peter screaming, "MoMA!"_ **

 

 **_Peter recovered quickly, webbing back towards the fight._ ** **"What is this guy's problem, Mr. Stark?"**

 

 **_Tony responded while weaving in the air, avoiding Cull and his hammer, before cutting to the inside view of his suit._ ** **"Ah, he's from space, he came to steal a necklace from a wizard,"** **_he responded with a serious face._ **

  


Bruce tilted his head slightly. "Well, when you put the situation like that, it kinda seems ridiculous."

  


Laurel also tilted her head in response. "When you think about it, all situations are like that."

  


Nat jumped in. "Yeah, like this one. Let's see, we all got kidnapped after a fight against aliens by another alien that's a teenager but also not, to watch our future as a movie. And we are kidnapped." Nat said dryly.

  


Laurel at least looked offended. Clint grabbed Laurel's popcorn off of the floor and shoved a load in his mouth. "Well, Laurel, this is the best kidnapping I've ever had. 10/10, would be kidnapped again. Is there a Yelp review I can leave you?"

  


Laurel gestured over to Clint. "See! He's happy!" "That I am," Clint responded. Nat just rolled her eyes. Clint narrowed his eyes slightly. "You better give me movie, though Laurel." Laurel sighed. "I'll work on it."

  


**_Peter lunged at Cull again, only to get caught in his claw-hammer, and was then swung around and sent flying across the park. Iron Man took his place, blasting Cull with repulsor beams, which was blocked by Cull’s shield. Enraged, Cull picked up the strewn taxi-half and unsuccessfully launched it at Tony._ **

 

**_Spider-Man grabbed the taxi-half with his webs, and crashed it back into the battle with a stylish flip._ **

  


Bruce looked on wide-eyed. “L-Laurel?”

  


“Yes, Brucie-Bear?”

  


Bruce wrinkled his nose. “Don’t call me that.”

  


Laurel smirked. “Whatever you say, Brucie-Bear. Now, what was the question.”

  


“You said he had super strength, yeah?”

  


“Mmhmm. What’s your point?”

  


“Well, _how_ strong is he? Like, how much can he lift?”

  


Laurel looked thoughtfully. “He hasn’t ever really reached his true potential, but he has been pushed to his limit before. I think he lifted 50 tons give or take.”

  


Steve looked ready to burst.

  


Tony looked wildly between Laurel and Steve before bursting into laughter.

  


Steve turned on Tony. “What’s so funny?” he demanded.

  


“YOUR FACE!”

  


Steve actually looked a bit hurt. “My face doesn’t look funny…” he trailed off into his thoughts.

  


Nat was somewhat impressed. This kid, Peter- he could lift (give or take, Laurel said) 20 tons more than Steve. But, Nat wasn’t surprised. 1940’s serum-techology just couldn’t take on whatever the hell Oscorp did to that spider that bit the kid. That must’ve been painful.

  


Nat started rethinking Stark’s offer to take down Oscorp this weekend. They kinda deserved it anyway.

  


Also, Nat was never surprised. Ever.

  


**_Back at where the battle started, Maw raised up some brick debris that was lying around the street, before waving his fingers, causing the brick to shed layers until they were all sharp spikes, aimed towards the two wizards._ **

  


“FINALLY!” cried Banner. That caught Nat off guard, as well as Clint.

  


“What do you mean, finally?” Clint voiced.

  


“That guy was such an idiot, he’s finally doing something that could have a chance at doing any damage!” Bruce cried.

  


That was exactly Nat was thinking. Huh. Maybe Banner was better at this than she assumed he was.

  


**_Maw sent them forward with a small push of his hands. Strange summoned a portal, sucking in all the spikes, while Wong summoned another portal, which spit the spikes back out at Maw._ **

  


Clint looked at Laurel with indecision, obviously fighting between the burning question he had and the “betrayal” of not having a movie made by Laurel (even though it really wasn’t up to her *MARVEL I SWEAR TO GOD *cough*) before he finally settled on an _Oh fuck it_ face and tapping Laurel’s side.

  


“What you need, my salt & vinegar chip?”

  


“First, what the hell. Second,” Clint gestured at Wong and Strange, “were they born able to do that? Like, are they enhanced?”

  


“No, they actually learned it.”

  


That was obviously the answer Clint wanted.

  


“Wait wait wait so I am able to do that too like can I make portals?” Clint exhaled in one breath. “That would SO go with the archery thing! Like imagine if I needed to snipe a Chitauri and I just made a portal and sniped it THROUGH the portal how AWESOME!”

  


“Calm the hell down! And no!”

  


Clint’s face fell. “I- I can’t?”

  


“You need years of training. And the cost is high. But not in the money way.”

  


Clint grumbled about how he never gets what he wants (MARVEL _(ง’- **’** _ _)ง_ )

  


**_Maw attempted to block the spikes with a shell of a car, which worked for the most part, except for one pesky one, which cut a neat little scrape unto the left side of his head. And Maw was pissed._ **

  


Nat exhaled slightly, before sighing deeply. Bruce turned to her questioningly.

  


“It’s just- I can’t believe how much of an idiot he is. Like, he hasn’t attempted a sneak attack, practically shoved his attacks in front of their noses to deflect, uses shit weapons-”

  


Laurel mimicked the sighing. “Be grateful that you have an actually smart telekinetic person on your team.”

  


Tony turned questioningly. “You?” he asked Laurel.

  


Laurel whipped her head around, eyes wide. “What, no- I meant- I’m not part of the team- I meant-” Steve looked at her questioningly.

  


“I meant Wanda,” Laurel finished under her breath, so not even Steve could hear it.

  


Laurel brightened up in a second. “Wait, you think I’m smart?”

  


“Nope, I think you’re a smart ass.”

  


“Nobody asked you Clint. Also, I can make the cheesy popcorn go away. Don’t make me do it.” Clint clutched his popcorn in a death grip. “Never,” he seethed in Laurel’s direction.

  


Tony sat thankful that it had all blown over.

  


**_Maw waved his hand in Wong’s direction, releasing the pressured water in the fire hydrant by Wong’s feet, sending him flying into a car behind him, rendering him unconscious._ **

  


“Wong nooooo!!” Tony said jokingly.

  


Thor glanced up. “Have you really made such a deep connection to Wong this quickly?”

  


Tony thought it over for a second. “Well, he’s got the same powers as Strange, how about when we get back, we find him instead ‘cause he’s got a better attitude-”

  


Nat glared. “No.”

  


“Why not?”

  


“Strange’s attitude is the whole reason we want him, isn’t it obvious? We need someone to combat your attitude.”

  


Thor thought for a second. “Why are we even debating this? How about, we get both of them to join us? Two is better than one, you know.”

  


Laurel gestured to Thor. “Finally! Someone with common sense!”

  


**_Strange snapped a whip of magical energy at Maw, who stood there and took it. Strange attempted to uproot Maw from where he stood by pulling back on the whip, but only succeeded in having Maw smash into him and grab him._ **

  


Nat was at the literal point of rubbing circles in her temples at how _painfully STUPID_ everyone was being. Like GODAMMIT, how hard can it be for magicians, with magic at their fingertips, to not use a physical weapon. Against a telekinetic.

  


**_Maw brought the both of them to the wall of a building, before proceeding to trap Strange underneath a cage of bricks._ **

  


“Oh my god, even GRAVITY’S not a THING ANYMORE?” Bruce yelled exasperated.

  


Tony just whispered, astonished. “My entire life is a lie.”

  


Laurel just raised her eyebrows as she thought to herself, _this isn’t even the beginning of physics breaking._ She chuckled, remembering the absolute crackshow that was Dr. Strange’s story. Woooo boy. That’ll be fun to explain.

  


**“Your powers are quaint,”** **_Maw sneered._ ** **“You must be popular with the children.”**

  


“See? Justice well deserved for being a shithead,” Tony gestured.

  


Thor wasn’t impressed. “This isn’t even close to justice. You wish to see Asgardian justice? Tony, friend, come here-”

  


Tony yelped and scrambled out of his seat and across a couple rows. “No thanks, Thor! I don’t need any justice!”

  


Laurel mimicked Thor’s voice. “You wish to see Asgardian justice?” She smacked Clint upside the head.

  


“What the hell, Laurel-”

  


She simply grunted and said, “Justice.”

  


Thor gestured Laurel’s way. “Justice,” he echoed.

  


**_Maw made to grab the Eye that held the Time Stone, but seemed- unable to, for some unknown reason, at least, unknown until a sound akin to sizzling bacon filled the speakers as Maw retracted his hand, that now sported an Eye of Agamotto-shaped-burn right in his palm._ **

  


“Oof, that’s nasty,” Steve commented. Laurel silently agreed.

  


**“It’s a simple spell but quite unbreakable,”** **_Strange snided right back._ **

  


**“Then I’ll take it off your corpse.”**

  


“OOoOoOooOoh, DEaTh ThrEAts I’m sO scAReD!” Laurel voice-cracked.

  


Nat raised a smooth eyebrow. “Are you mocking a movie _you_ created?”

  


“What, no! I just- I’m mocking Maw, which by the way he looks like if Voldemort forgot to put his sunscreen on too many times...” Laurel tried to redirect.

  


“Mmhmm, sure,” Nat said slowly. “Sure.”

  


**_Maw proceeded to grba Strange and throw him off the wall, sending him crashing into the top of a USPS truck before landing on the asphalt with a roll, ready to cast a spell._ **

  


“OK, even I can see the stupidity. Like, how is this dude even still alive?” Tony said. “He literally had Strange trapped, threatened to kill him, and then _freed him to fight back_. Idiots. All of them. Except Wong.”

  


“Tony, you do realize you are part of this fight too, right?” Steve asked, “‘cause you just called yourself an idiot.”

  


“Well I am one, fellow idiot.”

  


Clint gave a ‘fair enough’ face at Laurel who reciprocated.

  


**_Strange tried to open the Eye of Agamotto, only to have Maw restrict his arms to his body, effectively cutting off the spell that could’ve won the battle._ **

  


**_Maw continued wrapping Strange in cables, including snaking one around his neck, choking him, through which Strange managed to choke out,_ ** **“You’ll find… removing… a dead man’s spell… troublesome.”**

  


“He’s got a point, but I don’t really know how this magic stuff works,” Clint admitted.

  


“Yeah, but is it just me,” Tony started.

  


“Oh god,” Laurel started to facepalm.

  


“... or does he talk like a medival person? Like ‘troublesome’? Seriously?” Tony continued to hate on Strange.

  


“Can you shut up?” Clint said. “I feel like you’re _trying_ to ruin my OTP ship between you two.”

  


Laurel patted Clint’s shoulder sympathetically. “Don’t worry, I got some other ships for you coming soon, if this one doesn’t work out.”

  


Tony was left sputtering.

  


**_Maw sputtered,_ ** **“You’ll only wish you were dead,”** **_before tightening the cable around Strange’s throat. Strange fell unconscious, hitting a cop car behind him on his trip to the pavement._ **

  


“See, _that_ is a proper threat,” Clint accentuated. “Saying he’ll be hurt, but not saying how! Really leaves it to the imagination- Hey!”

  


Nat and Tony had done a simoultaneous head smack right exactly where Laurel had hit him earlier.

  


**_Maw waved his hands around again, and the camera cuts to see what he has done; he had restrained Strange on a piece of concrete that was floating as a sort of carrier._ **

  


**_You could see the Cloak struggling around Strange, before successfully wiggling Strange out of his restraints and flew him out of harm’s way before Maw noticed and yelled,_ ** **“No!”**

  


“You know, if there wasn’t only one in existence, I would TOTALLY get one for myself,” Laurel said.

  


“This guy isn’t a magician yet right?” Tony asked.

  


“No, he’s not a sorcerer yet,”

  


“Well then, go get yourself that cloak and return it just before Strange gets it. No timeline messing or anything.”

  


Laurel laughed. “How I wish, but, uh- it’s guarded too heavily by the other sorcerers.”

  


“Also! Also,” Clint interrupted, “I was interested in the Cloak first. Finders keepers.”

  


“That is a stupid but legitimate point, and I hate it.”

  


“You can’t hate the truth, darling.”

  


**_Strange continued and flew through the park where Spider-Man and Iron Man were fighting Cull, and Peter turned and looked at the now retreating figure, obviously not believing what he was seeing._ **

  


**“Kid, that’s the wizard, get on it.”**

  


**“ON IT!”** **_Peter shouted with zeal._ **

  


“God that kid’s precious. Wait did I just say that?”

  


Clint took a mental snapshot of the face in front of him. “Yes, Tony, yes you did.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After IW, I’m gonna show the characters the post credit scene from Antman and the Wasp just so they know what’s going on there


	14. *Bruce makes noise of disgust* (Battle of NY p.3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony actually does care *aaWwwwW*
> 
> Clint is his stupid, stupid self
> 
> Basically more of everything with no plot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DONT GIVE ME SPOILERS FOR SPIDERMAN I HAVENT SEEN IT YET

_In the last chapter:_

 

 

**_Strange continued and flew through the park where Spider-Man and Iron Man were fighting Cull, and Peter turned and looked at the now retreating figure, obviously not believing what he was seeing._ **

 

 

**_“Kid, that’s the wizard, get on it.”_ **

 

 

**_“ON IT!” Peter shouted with zeal._ **

 

 

_“God that kid’s precious. Wait did I just say that?”_

 

 

_Clint took a mental snapshot of the face in front of him. “Yes, Tony, yes you did.”_

 

\---

 

Clint howled in laughter, practically melting into his seat as he laugh-choked his way to the brink of suffocation. And Tony couldn't have any of that, no.

 

 

Tony sent Nat a look. A LOOK _. THE_ look. The he-needs-to-die-you-open-this-Saturday-to-help-me-hide-the-body _look_.

 

 

Nat tilted her head slightly upward and looked at Tony, then Clint, out of the corner of her eye. A neutral response. Interesting.

 

 

**_Peter started chasing Maw, who was chasing Strange on a pillar of swirling bricks and debris, by swinging along the buildings and taking a sharp right._ **

 

 

"What even _is_ that stuff?" Bruce said in wonder. "Can I know?"

 

 

"Nah, buddy, no can do- but I'm surprised you can't figure it out. He makes it in a high school lab."

 

 

Bruce's eyes nearly popped out of his head. "He made that with the basic chemicals of a school lab? Okay, so that gets rid of rare chemicals- where does he go to school? I need to know what chemicals they keep there _stat-_ "

 

 

"Bruce, Bruce. Calm the f down. I thought we already established that we shouldn't try to speed up the future or invent things that haven't been invented yet, et cetera," Laurel sighed exasperatedly.

 

 

"Fuck the rules, I need the nanotech _now,_ preferably," Tony shouted

 

 

Laurel sighed. “Alright then, I guess we haven’t established that yet. No making technology from the future. It’s like time travel rule #1, guys.”

 

 

Bruce and Tony looked sorely disappointed.

 

 

**_Just as Peter turned the corner, Maw made an almost unnoticeable swipe of his hand, sending a Rocket Mortgage billboard flying into Spider-Man, causing him to yelp out in surprise._ **

 

 

A collective “Oooooo, ouch,” of sympathy pain went around the room, along with an indignant cry from both Laurel, Stark, and surprisingly, Steve.

 

 

“Huh? Wow Steve, I expected it from Stark, but not you!” Laurel said. Tony gave her a look that screamed _What do you_ mean _you_ expected _it?_

 

 

Steve shifted slightly. “Well, he’s young, obviously too young to get smashed with a billboard. He, uh, doesn’t deserve it? To get hurt?”

 

 

Laurel nodded slowly but inside was screaming because, even though Steve didn’t technically know, the first time he ever met Peter he kinda bashed his head with his shield, so the duality of the statement was not unnoticed.

 

 

But it was still sweet. Nat wrinkled her nose slightly at all the sappy emotions going around.

 

 

 **_Peter untangled himself quickly, before shooting another web and rejoining the chase with a quick,_ ** **“Not cool!”** **_muttered more to himself than towards Maw._ **

 

 

**_Maw than crossed his arms into an X across his chest, causing all the streetlights to bend inward in an attempt to snag the Cloak._ **

 

 

“Is he really an idiot? That seemed like a decent strategy to me,” Thor noted.

 

 

“It’s decent, but not the best, really it’s his only somewhat okay decision so far,” Clint responded.

 

 

“For example,” Nat jumped in, ready to flex her strategy-centric brain, “Use his telekinesis on the Cloak itself to slow it to a stop in midair. Not that hard, won’t kill the wizard, and Strange is already too busy being unconscious to fight back.”

 

 

Thor tilted his head. “You are right, that would’ve been better.”

 

 

“Case in point,” Nat finished with a mental flourish. It was always such a nice feeling to assert her dominance. She should really do it more often.

 

 

 **_One utility pole did end up catching the garment, which sent Strange flying at breakneck speed towards the pavement, which he almost hit before a web caught his back and hauled him up, with a quick_ ** **“ ‘Gotcha** **_._ ** **”**

 

 

Thor pointed at the screen. “His plan did end up working,” he pointed out.

 

 

“Yeah, and whose plan to close the portal spitting out Chitauri saved us all 30 minutes ago?” Nat bit back annoyedly.

 

 

Thor shut up to the tune of Laurel’s small, under her breath “weird flex but ok” which she made sure no one could hear and consequently question her about. Steve heard her anyways, and she knew that. Damned enhanced hearing.

 

 

 **_Peter swung around in a circle, making a U-turn to head back to Tony and the fight with Strange attached, when a blue beam shone down on Strange’s unconscious body, starting to pull him upwards, taking Peter by surprise, which he expressed with a small,_ ** **“Hey!”** **_._ **

 

 

“This is some freaky alien shit!” Clint cried.

 

 

Bruce raised his eyebrows, “Freaky alien shit?” he whispered, gesturing quietly to Thor and Laurel, who were blissfully unaware.

 

 

Clint shook his head. “That’s not what I meant. It’s just, they were abducting Strange like they do in all the alien stories, with a beam of light and all that.”

 

 

**_Strange was being lifted upwards into the ring-shaped ship, with the Cloak fluttering up beside him, obviously unsure what to do but wanting to stick with its owner._ **

 

 

Tony let out a melodramatic sigh, signaling the beginning of yet another melodramatic statement. 

 

 

“If only there was anybody in my life that was as loyal as that cape…”

 

 

“Oh shut up,” Thor sighed exasperatedly.

 

 

Tony continued anyway. “Not even my biggest stock market competitors stick around for long enough!” he finished with a pitifully overdramatic slump.

 

 

Laurel made a coughing sound that sounded suspiciously like *coughOSCORPcoughSHUTUPcoughcough*

 

 

**_Peter grabbed onto a utility pole in an attempt to bring Strange back down to the ground, but with another flick of the wrist, the pole uprooted itself, sending Strange, Peter, and a street light into the blue beam, a.k.a being abducted._ **

 

 

“That SON OF A BITCH!” Tony cried.

 

 

“You DO care I KNEW it!” Clint cried in response.

 

 

Laurel whispered only to Clint, “No, you only knew it because I told you.” Meanwhile, Tony was half-yelling, “Of COURSE I care why WOULDN’T I CARE?!?”

 

 

**“Uh, Mr. Stark? I’m being beamed up!”**

 

 

**“Hang on kid!”**

 

 

“Hang on kid!” Tony cried in unison with his future self, before pacing and playing with his fingers out of frustration of not being able to do anything, instead leaving that to his future self which was already labeled an idiot by everyone watching, including himself.

 

 

Basically, he didn’t trust himself with his own damn kid. And it was so _frustrating._

 

 

**_As Iron Man continued firing lasers that by now were useless, Cull continued to swing his hammer around carelessly, hitting a statue of a man wielding a sword and completely destroying it without even blinking._ **

 

 

Thor wrinkled his eyebrows. “Desecrating statues is one of the worst things you can do in Asgard. This guy is now officially liable to Asgardian justice.”

 

 

Laurel waved her hand around. “Chances are that guy was a rich old white dude anyway. Probably didn’t even deserve it, probably had some stupid backstory that killed a bunch of innocent people or some shit-”

 

 

Thor interrupted. “It’s still not OK to tarnish the statues,” he argued.

 

 

Laurel dropped the argument, but only because, Thor actually destroyed a statue of his own grandfather. In the future. But- he uh, didn’t need to know that yet.

 

 

“Was he not liable before?” Bruce asked interestedly. Thor tilted his head in thought, before admitting that, that it was a good point.

 

 

**_Plot twist, Cull’s hammer doubled as a claw, which snatched Iron Man out of the sky, before being thrown into the dirt, arms trapped against his chest and suit inhibited by the electric shock the claw-hammer weapon gave off._ **

 

 

“Now that I think about it, I should really make at least one suit that doesn’t conduct electricity,” Tony thought out loud.

 

 

“Now you’re thinking! What could we use?” Bruce started, before halting. “Wait, Laurel, since we technically haven’t made it in the future, can we make this technology when we get back?”

 

 

Laurel shrugged. “Wouldn’t change much in the timeline, I suppose.”

 

 

“What would you even be called?” Clint questioned, “Plastic Man?”

 

 

Both of the scientists shared a look that insinuated _the fuck is this guy talking about?_

 

 

“No, of course not. I’d still be Iron Man. More specifically, the closest I could get while still being metal, is, uh, actually…”

 

 

“He’d be,” Bruce started, oblivious to Tony frantically making the _cut it out_ gesture across his neck.

 

 

“What would he be?” Nat prodded.

 

 

“Stainless Steel Man? That’s all I can think of-”

 

 

“Jesus Christ-” Tony said while facepalming.

 

 

Clint was once again (seriously how is he not dead?) dying of laughter.

 

 

 **_Cull made a running leap towards the incapacitated Tony, ready to impale him clean through with his sword-like right hand, but didn’t make it to his_ ** **_destination, instead falling through a portal made by Wong, faceplanting in… snow?_ **

 

 

“What a turn of events! My imminent mortality didn’t come to pass how perfect!” Tony said sarcastically.

 

 

Steve’s face dropped faster than a bag of rocks (can I even metaphor anymore idk honestly).

 

 

“Tony we need to talk about this…”

 

 

Laurel put her hand up. “Steve please. I know you are interested in the wellbeing of the team but you are about 30 years too late to save Tony and 30 million to save me. It’s not gonna happen.”

 

 

Steve scribbled out the entry on therapy for Bruce and Hulk and replaced it with _therapy for everyone (especially Tony & Laurel?) _

 

 

 **_Cull picked himself up quickly, looking around to where he was teleported- a mountain range? Before angrily turning and attempting to hop back through the_ ** **_portal, only to have it close._ **

 

 

**_And sever his hand off._ **

 

 

Half the team looked utterly disgusted, namely Bruce, Tony, and Steve. They all made “UUuughhH!” sounds of disgust.

 

 

Nat made a small, “gross!’ before catching herself and putting a small smirk on her face.

 

 

Thor didn’t really care, as Cull deserved what he got and Thor had seen worse.

 

 

Unfortunately, Laurel could say the same.

 

 

**_Movie Bruce shared the same reaction as Bruce, quickly jumping back before kicking away the hand with a small noise of disgust._ **

 

 

 **_Tony stood up and easily destroyed the claw prison he was in, now that it had lost its electricity power, before quickly shouting,_ ** **“Wong, you’re invited to my wedding!”** **_and blasting off._ **

 

 

Tony pumped his fist in the air. “Hopefully this is the beginning of a lifelong friendship because I want that dude as my friend!”

 

 

Thor looked up confused. “I wish you the best of luck?” He said more of a question than a statement.

 

 

“Maybe you shouldn’t have done that, Stark,” Nat pointed out.

 

 

“And why would that be?” Tony asked, totally convinced that Wong coming to his wedding would be the best thing to happen in his life.

 

 

“He’d totally bring Strange as his plus one.”

 

 

“OH HELL NO-”

 

 

“OH HELL YES!” Clint cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *smoulders casually* Hey


	15. Just Because You're Part Spider Doesn't Mean You're Atmosphere-Proof

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short one but Tony is basically a worried babysitter the entire time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FAR FROM HOME
> 
> *dIsTResSED nOisSEs*
> 
> The illusion. The fucking gravestone and skeleton suit KILLED MY EMOTIONS POOR PETER (if you know, you know)
> 
> -Totally gonna have these guys react to that damned scene at some point

****_“Maybe you shouldn’t have done that, Stark,” Nat pointed out._

 

_“And why would that be?” Tony asked, totally convinced that Wong coming to his wedding would be the best thing to happen in his life._

 

_“He’d totally bring Strange as his plus one.”_

 

_“OH HELL NO-”_

 

_“OH HELL YES!” Clint cried._

 

_\---_

 

As the duo continued bickering about the ethics of revoking a future wedding invite or denying a plus one, the screen changed.

 

 

_**The camera showed the outside of the ring ship as it was leaving the atmosphere, zooming in on a small metal container until you could see the shape of who else, but Spider-Man.** _

 

 

"Hold it, hold it," Steve motioned to the arguing pair, before pointing at the screen. "Can spiders hold their breath in outer space?"

 

 

"No? Why-" Tony whipped around to face the screen before his eyes widened comically.

 

 

"WHAT IN THE HELL DOES HE THINK HE'S DOING?"

 

 

"To answer your question, no they can't," Bruce explained hurriedly before darting back to his seat.

 

 

Clint seemed worried as well, but not the absolute mad storm that was a provoked Tony.

 

 

"HE SHOULD NOT BE ANYWHERE NEAR SPACE-"

 

 

Thor mumbled slightly in Laurel's direction, "How did he even get out there, if he was abducted with Strange? Shouldn't he be with Strange right now?"

 

 

"Hell if I know," Laurel shrugged.

 

 

Nat sent a weird glance in Laurel's direction. The whole point was that she was  _supposed_ to know.

 

 

 _**The camera changed to the inside of Tony's suit.** _ **"Give me a little juice F.R.I.D.A.Y," _he commanded, before his thrusters formed a new, stronger attachment that sent him rocketing towards the rapidly retreating ship._**

 

 

**_Maw walked calmly through the control room before placing his arms in the steering, ready to go to lightspeed._ **

 

 

"OH SHIT, IF HE GOES TO LIGHTSPEED IT'LL KILL PETER!"

 

 

Nat whispered slightly in Laurel's ear, "Should I make him shut up?" To which Laurel said a quick, "No, it's fine." Tony deserved to be able to worry.

 

 

**"Unlock 17-A."**

 

 

_**A capsule from the Upstate Avenger Compound was released, rocketing towards the sky.** _

 

 

Tony took a slight pause. Had he already prepared for this situation? He sure hoped to God that he did.

 

 

Bruce gestured at the screen. "What the hell is that?"

 

 

Laurel quickly munched down a mouthful of popcorn before turning to Bruce. "That's the Avengers Compound. Upstate New York."

 

 

Tony furrowed his brows. "Hold up, I was planning to make Stark Tower into Avengers Tower. I was gonna discuss it with Pepper when I got home."

 

 

"Awww you care? How sweet!" Clint said in a sappy voice while making a heart with his hands and flashing it in Tony's direction, much to Tony's deep disappointment.

 

 

"Things change," Laurel supplied simply, "But still make the Tower. You'll see. Also, who says you can't have both?" This was met by a chorus of groans from the six, frustrated that they couldn't know everything right now.

 

 

_**The camera went back to Peter, who was struggling to get up the side of the ship, his actions slowed due to oxygen loss.** _

 

 

Worried Tony came back in full force.

 

 

"HE'S GONNA NOT BE OKAY BRUCE! I CAN'T DEAL WITH THAT!"

 

 

He was literally shaking the scientist, who was starting to look disheveled, with his glasses askew.

 

 

"You  _can_ deal with it, Stark," Laurel started, trying to get rid of that mindset, for- reasons.

 

 

"Who are you to say?" He bit back.

 

 

"A person with an opinion," she replied simply, trying not to pull rank on him.

 

 

**"Pete, you gotta let go. I'm gonna catch you."**

 

 

**"BUT YOU SAID SAVE THE WIZARD!!"**

 

 

Thor thought for a second. "Perhaps you were right, Laurel, I do admire the masked Spider's determination-"

 

 

"Well, I DON'T!" Tony shrieked. "HE NEEDS TO GET OUT OF THERE!"

 

 

**"Ugh, I can't breathe!"**

 

 

 ****"STEVE HE CAN'T BREATHE!"

 

 

"I'm aware, I'm aware-" he said, trying to calm Tony down, obviously taken aback by this sudden outburst of emotion.

 

 

**"You're too high up, you're running out of air-"**

 

 

"HOW AM I SO CALM!"

 

 

"Because, possibly, you have a solution for this problem and he won't die?" Laurel said sternly while jabbing her finger at the screen. "Now please, shut up before I take Nat up on her offer."

 

 

"What offer, Nat?" Tony asked.

 

 

"None of anybody's business," she deflected.

 

 

**"Yeah- that makes sense," _Peter replied breathily, before looking up and passing out._**

 

 

Tony gasped in his horror, before making a high-pitched shrieking sound that would put his pre-puberty self to shame.

 

 

Everybody else simply held their breath, wondering if maybe Tony's worry had been right all along.

 

 

But, the most vexing problems often have the most glorious solutions.

 

 

_**The pod (17-A) shot past Iron Man, before shedding two layers of metal and colliding into the falling body of Peter.** _

 

 

_**The pod expanded, until it revealed a new, glorious nanotech suit- The Iron Spider.** _

 

 

_**Peter then faceplanted into the ship.** _

 

 

 _**Standing up quickly in an** _ **amazing _superhero pose, he quickly said,_ "Mr. Stark, it smells like a new car in here!"**

 

 

Bruce stood open-mouthed, reveling in the glory of that suit, before spinning around, only to have a hand shushing him.

 

 

"No," Laurel said in a deadly but calm voice, "You may NOT build that suit. Yet. Don't ask again." Bruce slumped down in disappointment.

 

 

Tony was also slumped, too busy coming down from his adrenaline-worry-dad-mode high to share the same appreciation that Bruce did, although there still was the tell-tale sparkle of curiosity behind his eyes.

 

 

Clint furrowed his eyebrows in thought before quickly getting a mischievous glint in his eyes.

 

 

"Your nanotech took a lot longer than Peter's to form. Did you slow it down on purpose for dramatic effect?"

 

 

Tony gave him a tired look of  _seriously? That's what you thought of?_ before making the intelligent decision not to engage, a very un-Tony-Stark-like move.

 

 

Laurel grinned. "Oh, now that you point that out, he totally did."

 

 

"Do you think he wanted to impress Mr. Wizard?  _OTP!_ "

 

 

"I will  _cut_ you."

 

 

I guess Tony couldn't help himself, then.

 

 

 _**The Iron Man mask stared down at Peter with an uninterested look.** _ **"Happy trails, kid. F.R.I.D.A.Y, send him home," _he said before blasting away while F.R.I.D.A.Y responded with a quick,_ "Yep."**

 

 

  _ **The parachute on the Iron Spider activated, getting Peter sucked out of sight as he yelled,** _ **"Oh, COME ON!" _indignantly._**

 

 

Tony breathed a sigh of relief. 

 

 

Thor seemed somewhat indignant. "You just crushed the Spider-Boy's dreams," he said seriously.

 

 

Nat jumped in. "No he did not, Thor-"

 

 

"He deprived him of a chance to prove himself. That's very disgraceful."

 

 

"No he didn't, he deprived him of the chance of him dying."

 

 

"Same difference."

 

 

Tony sent a screwed up glance in Thor's direction. "You prove yourself on Asgard by putting yourself in deathly situations?"

 

 

"Yes, and you just stopped Peter. Disgraceful."

 

 

Tony just rolled his eyes, not yet ready to open that fucking can of worms.

 

 

_**Iron Man flew up to an exposed side of the ship, before latching on to the side with his right hand, and using a laser to cut a hole through the metal , making a big circle that got immediately sucked into space the moment Tony finished carving the metal.** _

 

 

 

"All that technology fit in your  _Arc Reactor?!?_ " Bruce exclaimed, as if he had just pieced that together. "How is that even physically possible?"

 

 

"That's something for Tony to figure out and honestly, even though I know everything, I just don't bother with nanotechnology, so I honestly couldn't explain it to you well enough. Future magic is my best explanation."

 

 

"Yes, yes," Tony said dryly, "And we have come to the conclusion that you are the worst at giving us information we ask for."

 

 

Laurel pointed her finger in the air. "Completely true. But, to balance that, I am also the master of giving you the information you didn't ask for."

 

 

Clint gave an  _oh shit you're right_ face at Nat, who shrugged her shoulders indifferently. Technically, they didn't ask to be shown their future. Nor did they ask for an IronStrange ship, yet here they were.

 

 

 _**Tony climbed inside the ship, only to have F.R.I.D.A.Y interrupt with a call.** _ **"Incoming call from Ms. Potts."**

 

 

**"Tony, oh my god. Are you all right? What's going on?"**

 

 

**"Yeah, I'm fine, I'm just thinking that we might have to push our 8:30 res."**

 

 

"Tony, of all the ways to break the news to her, that was exactly none of the ways to do it," Nat said dryly.

 

 

Tony raised his hands in defense. "Wasn't me, it was future me! Doesn't count!"

 

 

Nat gave her famous  _Bitch, please_ look before putting the matter to bed, with a quick, "You basically said the same thing to Ms. Potts 2 years ago. I was there."

 

 

**"Why?"**

 

 

**"Just 'cause... I 'll probably not make it back for a while."**

 

 

Clint sighed. "Dude, even I can tell that that is the shittiest way to possibly go about that."

 

 

Tony screwed up his face. "Well, it's not like you have much experience."

 

 

Clint just raised his eyebrows, before turning and sending an eyebrow raise to Nat and Laurel, implying that he tried.

 

 

**"Tell me you're not on that ship," _Pepper said, surprisingly calmly._**

 

 

**"Yeah."**

 

 

**"God no, please tell me you're not on that ship."**

 

 

**"Honey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I don't know what to say."**

 

 

"It's completely obvious you don't," Steve joined in, with some whooping from the assassins' corner of the room.

 

 

Tony drooped. "So now you're in on this too?"

 

 

"I would never pass up the opportunity to rat on Mr. Playboy's inability with women," he said, obviously still a bit salty from the earlier conversation on the Helicarrier.

 

 

Tony pulled the trump card. "I thought we pinky-promised!" Steve gave a slight nod.

 

 

 _**Pepper's voice got sterner and sterner.** _ **"Come back here! Come back here Tony, I swear to God..."**

 

**"Pep..."**

 

 

**"Come back here right now! Come back!" _That was all she got out before her voice crackled, losing cell reception because of well... space. He also lost F.R.I.D.A.Y-_ "Boss. We're losing her... I'm going too..."**

 

 

"I think you should probably head back," Bruce said awkwardly, while scratching his neck.

 

 

"Yes, every Asgardian values his honor, and it is obvious that if you don't leave now, that she seems intent on... dishonoring you when you get back. Publicly. Probably through a lot of screaming."

 

 

"Can confirm," Laurel jutted in. "But, it's a good thing he didn't otherwise this would be a really bad situation," she said, bringing attention back to the screen.

 

 

_**The camera zoomed in on the outside of the ship once more, where it is shown that Spider-Man shot a web to the outside of the ship, hanging on for dear life.** _

 

__

Tony nearly had a stroke.

 

 

"This kid... this goddamn kid..." he said on a loop, seemingly stuck on those five words.

 

 

"It is officially decided! I can forgive the mask, this is a good man," Thor said joyfully.

 

 

"He is not a man," Steve said calmly, while Tony shrieked the same thing.

 

 

 _**Peter climbed the side of the ship once more, before climbing inside a slowly closing chamber.** _ **"Oh my God!" _he exclaimed, seeing the Earth go farther and farther away, before shaking his head slightly, grumbling,_ "I should've stayed on the bus."**

 

 

"YES he SHOULD HAVE ohmygod......" Tony yelped, putting his hands behind his head in stress.

 

 

Bruce came over and patted his shoulder. At least he has that super cool suit. I bet you gave one to him before even Rhodey gets one. He has the best technology available. It'll be fine," he stressed.

 

 

Tony still seemed a bit NOT OKAY.

 

 

_**Maw looked forward with a look of determination, before pushing the steering forward, sending the ship into lightspeed.** _

 

 

Nat yawned. "Took the guy long enough! He could've been out of there a minute ago and absolutely beaten us."

 

 

"Beaten US? You mean I would've been FINE and PETER WOULD'VE DIED?!?!"

 

 

"Jesus Christ," Clint facepalmed, "We have a Mama Bear Tony present."

 

 

"DAMN RIGHT! Wait what...?"

 

 

Clint glared with a  _you heard me bitch_ face.

 

 

_**Back in New York, the flip-phone lay among the rubble, only to be picked up by Bruce, who looked up to see Wong through a portal, who was returning to the Sanctum.** _

 

 

**"Where are you going?"**

 

 

**"The Time Stone's been taken. The Sanctum remains unguarded- what will you do?" Wong said.**

 

 

"Say your goodbyes, guys!" Laurel shouted.

 

 

"What? Wong?" Tony asked.

 

 

"Yeah, this is the last time he shows up."

 

 

"Farewell, companion. He did a noble duty helping our cause," Thor obliged.

 

 

"See? Thor did it," Laurel gestured towards Thor.

 

 

"Aah, I'm sure it's just some Asgardian honor junk," Clint waved off.

 

 

"You want to call it junk again, friend?"

 

 

"Nah, Thor, sorry," Clint said as quickly as possible to save his ass from some good old fashioned Asgard justice.

 

 

"Goodbye, friend," Tony said solemnly.

 

 

**"I'm gonna make a call," _Bruce responded simply._**

 

 

"Good choice," Steve called to Bruce from the back, before flashing a thumbs up.

 

 

"No problem. Someone had to do it, and it obviously wasn't gonna be Tony."

 

 

_**The screen changed to a colorful planet with a ring around it as the opening chords to "Rubberband Man" started to play, and the word "Space" flashed across the bottom of the screen.** _

 

 

"OH HELL YEAH MY FAVORITE 6 HEROES ARE IN THE JOINT!"

 

 

Laurel had never gotten a more offended look in her entire life.


	16. Your average family road trip- IN SPACE!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I did this instead of my AP US History homework for summer! yaaY

_ In the last chapter: _

  
  
  


 

_ The screen changed to a colorful planet with a ring around it as the opening chords to "Rubberband Man" started to play, and the word "Space" flashed across the bottom of the screen. _

  
  
  


 

_ "OH HELL YEAH MY FAVORITE 6 HEROES ARE IN THE JOINT!" _

  
  
  


 

_ Laurel had never gotten a more offended look in her entire life. _

  
  
  


 

\---

  
  
  


Clint somehow looked more betrayed than ever. “Oh ho, so you have favorites now, huh?”

  
  
  


 

Laurel furrowed her eyebrows. “No, no, it’s not that, it’s just that these guys are way more entertaining than you guys can hope to be. Y’all are some depressing-ass people in the future.”

  
  
  


 

Bruce and Steve sent a worrying,  _ what does she mean?  _ Glance to each other.

  
  
  


 

“Also yes, I did use y’all unironically,” Laurel said, proud of herself for some unknown reason to the others.

  
  
  


 

Tony gave her an unimpressed look.

  
  
  


 

**_The camera switched over to the Benatar, that was speeding along, and then cut to Peter Quill, who was lip-syncing fiercely to the opening lines._ **

  
  
  


 

“Introductions, people! This is Peter Quill-”

  
  
  


 

“There are two Peters?” Tony said, a bit annoyed.

  
  
  


 

“Yes, there are technically 3, but I just call this one Quill. Anyway-”

  
  
  


 

“Wait, how did they get human music? Is this guy human?”

  
  
  


 

“Stop interrupting people Bruce! Yes he’s half-human, dad’s an alien-”

  
  
  


 

“I wonder how  _ that _ happened-”

  
  
  


 

“Clint do you  _ want _ to die?”

  
  
  


 

“I’m just sayin’!”

  
  
  


 

“I missed the part where I asked for your input. So. Quill’s half-human, he was kinda enhanced, but he lost his powers, it’s all cool now-”

  
  
  


 

“Quill went missing in 1988. I saw the S.H.I.E.L.D file-”

  
  
  


 

“Nat? Seriously? Not you too- screw this. I have movies for this guy-”

  
  
  


 

“How many.”

  
  
  


 

“Clint? Come on-”

  
  
  


 

“HOW. MANY.”

  
  
  


 

“Two. One in progress? I haven’t decided yet, but I’m pretty sure.” Clint pursed his lips disapprovingly.

  
  
  


 

**_Quill continued to lip-sync, before yelling down,_ ** **“Sing it, Drax!”** **_as the camera panned down to a snoring Drax that decidedly wasn’t ‘singing it’._ **

  
  
  
  


 

“Is that guy TEAL?? And… and bald?” Bruce said.

  
  
  


 

Laurel casually summoned and started sipping on a Diet Dr. Pepper. “Trust me,” she said, “Drax is not the weirdest thing you’ll be seeing in the next 30 seconds.”

  
  
  


 

“Can I have a Coke? And what the heck is that supposed to mean?”

  
  
  


 

**_The camera panned once more to Gamora, who was singing along too, just not with as much spunk as Quill._ **

  
  
  


 

“Okay, I see what you mean.”

  
  
  


 

“This is the Zen-Whoberian you talked about earlier? Wait, are these the ‘noble’ Guardians you mentioned?” Thor said, a bit of disbelief creeping into his voice.

  
  
  


 

“100% yes, these are the Guardians, satisfaction guaranteed, no refunds. Why, what did you expect?” Laurel asked interestedly.

  
  
  


 

“I don’t know, but I didn’t exactly expect a group like- I don’t know, I assumed that it would be a bit more regal? Organized?”

  
  
  


 

Laurel made a  _ pshhh  _ sound before explaining, “These guys belong to no one. Believe me, the Nova Corp try, but, uh…. doesn’t tend to work out in their favor.”

  
  
  


 

“So they are a semi-hero, vigilante justice group roaming the galaxy?” Steve asked, intaking a whole ton of information at once. 

  
  
  


 

“Sure, they could use a bit of guidance,” Laurel said while winking at Thor, “but don’t get me wrong. They are 100% hero.”

  
  
  


 

**_The camera panned up once again to where Rocket was sitting, with Groot lounging lazily behind him, playing his game._ **

  
  
  


 

Bruce choked on his newly-summoned Coke, spraying Tony slightly before apologizing profusely and coughing until his mind processed. Tony wasn’t faring much better.

  
  
  


 

Clint was the first to regain is thoughts.

  
  
  


 

“Is that a GODDAMN RACOON?!?”

  
  
  


 

“Hold up, hold up. Do you even see the SENTIENT TREE behind him? What in the everlasting  _ fuck _ -” Tony said, running his hands through his hair.

  
  
  


 

“ExcUsE mE, the racoon and the ‘sentient tree’ have names,” she said, scoffing a bit.

  
  
  


 

“Just perfect, they have names-”

  
  
  


 

“Oh, would you stop? It’s obvious by now that you all need to just go with the flow, so just- yeah,” Nat said.

  
  
  


 

“Yeah, so, fun, meet Rocket- he’s the racoon, but don’t call him that, and Groot.”

  
  
  


 

Bruce narrowed his eyes. “I thought you said there were six of them?”

  
  
  


 

“Yeah! You guys’ll see Mantis soon, she’s an absolute cinnamon bun-”

  
  
  


 

“Wait, is she an actual sentient cinnamon bun because we’re gonna have problems-”

  
  
  


 

“No, of course she’s not an actual, sentient breakfast pastry, that’s impossible!” Laurel said while laughing at the thought of it.

  
  
  


 

“Well I would’ve said the same about trees but here we are,” Clint said all grumbly.

  
  
  


 

**_Rocket yawned lazily before slumping slightly and saying in a bored tone,_ ** **“Why are we doing this again?”**

  
  
  


 

**“It’s a** **_distress signal_ ** **Rocket, someone could be dying!” Gamora retaliated in somehow a both bored and accusing tone.**

  
  
  


 

**_Rocket scratched the side of his face disinterestedly._ ** **“I get that, but why are we doing it?”**

  
  
  


 

Tony raised an eyebrow over at Laurel which had a  _ seriously?  _ Vibe to it.

  
  
  


 

“Ok, ok,” Laurel conceded, “They can be a bit misguided, but they never stray far from the right before they bounce back to it. They are 100% the good guys.”

  
  
  


 

**“‘Cause we’re nice,”** **_Quill started, before starting again with a slyer tone,_ ** **“And maybe whoever it is will give us a little chedda cheese for our help!”**

  
  
  


 

**“Which isn’t the point,”** **_Gamora corrected._ **

  
  
  


 

**“Which isn’t the** **_point,_ ** **”** **_Quill echoed,_ ** **“I mean... if he doesn’t pony up…”**

  
  
  


 

**“We take his ship,”** **_Drax said as it was the most obvious thing in the world, while Rocket supplied,_ ** **“Exactly!”** **_and Gamora whipped her head to the side in_ ** **_disbelief._ **

  
  
  


 

**“B-b-b-b-BINGO!”**

  
  
  


 

“100% the good guys, huh?” Steve said, obviously unimpressed with the antics taking place on the screen.

  
  
  


 

“Yes they ARE!” Laurel replied in a teenager tone. “They’re my favorites for a reason!”

  
  
  


 

Tony grasped his chest in mock distress. “Wow, really went for the low blow there, huh? Why do you even like them better?”

  
  
  


 

“They have a better team dynamic?”

  
  
  


 

Clint shook his head. “Wow, we must be really fucked up from that fight if a group of petty thieves consisting of a human, a tree, a racoon, the green lady who is  like, the only moral compass, and a cinnamon bun-”

  
  
  


 

“She’s NOT a CINNAMON BUN! Well she is, but not like- it’s a future metaphor. And your miraculous assumption is correct. You all are so royally screwed that your stupid fight is what I came here to fix in the first place.”

  
  
  


 

“I thought this was what you wanted us to prevent?” Bruce asked while gesturing at the screen.

  
  
  


 

“Well, yes, but, uh no? I need you to prevent basically everything from 2016 onwards- It’s complicated-”

  
  
  


 

Tony shrugged. “Well, make it uncomplicated.”

  
  
  


 

Laurel shot him a glare. “That’s what this is for,” she said while gesturing to the screen.

  
  
  


 

**_Gamora stared up at Quill, to which he replied with a ‘don’t worry about it’_ ** **_face and hand gesture, to which Gamora seemed unimpressed with, but accepted nonetheless._ **

  
  
  


 

**_The camera switched to Mantis who was reading her console._ ** **“We are arriving.”**

  
  
  


 

“So that’s Mantis, huh? I was kind of expecting a giant Praying Mantis or something-”

  
  
  


 

“Oh, shut it,” Laurel said, starting to get bored of the quippy remarks.

  
  
  


 

“This is a very diverse team. I like it,” Thor said simply.

  
  
  


 

Laurel whisper-grumbled, “Yeah, it’s more diverse than 90% of Stark Industry hires-”

  
  
  


 

“ExcUSe mE?” Tony said.

  
  
  


 

“Nothing, just contemplating the diversity of your employees!” Laurel said, not trying to cover her tracks at all. Nat smirked at her sass. 

  
  
  


 

**“Alright Guardians. Don’t forget, this might be dangerous, so let’s put on our mean faces.”**

  
  
  


 

**_Mantis followed the orders to a T, putting what can only be described as a cross between a scowl and a soundless hiss on her face._ **

  
  
  


 

Laurel sighed contentedly to herself before mumbling, “Mmmm, such a cinnamon bun…”

  
  
  


 

Steve looked weirdly in her direction. “Okay, is this something that just I don’t know, or is a cinnamon bun-”

  
  
  


 

Tony looked tired. “Yeah, nobody has any idea what the fuck she’s talking about.”

  
  
  


 

Nat scanner mode activated. Cinnamon buns sound like something nice, a compliment, backed up by the fact that Laurel used the phrase quite fondly to describe Mantis, who seems to be a person who is innocent, almost cute when she tries to be fierce.

  
  
  


 

“I know what it means,” Nat said disinterestedly.

  
  
  


 

“Well, care to enlighten us?” Tony said.

  
  
  


 

“It basically means that they need to be protected at all costs. They’re precious and innocent.”

  
  
  


 

“Right on the money!” Laurel said happily.

  
  
  


 

“That’s not what I meant,” Steve said quickly. “I don’t even know what a cinnamon bun is.”

  
  
  


 

“Me neither. I know what pancakes are though. Those are good!” Thor said happily.

  
  
  


 

“Good for you?” Bruce said, confused.

  
  
  


 

**_Groot continued to play his game, Arcade Defender, causing some loud beeps that obviously annoyed the other Guardians._ **

  
  
  


 

**_Quill spared a half-glance back to Groot before shouting back,_ ** **“Put that thing away, now. I don’t wanna tell you again.”**

  
  
  


 

**_The continued beeping caused Quill to fully look at Groot, before calmly saying,_ ** **“Groot.”**

  
  
  


 

“The best way I could describe the Guardians is as a family road trip where the destination is kicking evil ass,” Laurel explained.

  
  
  


 

“Wait, are they related?” Bruce asked questioningly.

  
  
  


 

“Some are? Quill and Mantis are half-siblings, Quill and Gamora are basically a married couple at this point, Rocket is the surrogate father of Groot, and Drax isn’t related to anyone, but he’s basically the sleepy uncle of the group.”

  
  
  


 

“Sounds complicated. There must be family drama,” Tony said.

  
  
  


 

“Not as much as you might think.”

  
  
  


 

**“I aM gROoT!”** **_Groot said in a mocking tone._ **

  
  
  


 

**“Woah!” Quill said.**

  
  
  


 

**“Language!”**

  
  
  


 

**“Hey!”**

  
  
  


 

**“Wow.”**

  
  
  


 

Thor recoiled quickly. “How disrespectful!”

  
  
  


 

Bruce shook his head. “Am I missing something here? Because all I heard was I Am Groot-”

  
  
  


 

Laurel shook her head, ignoring Bruce in favor of a conversation with Thor. “I know, right? I can’t believe he would tell his family to fuck off like that!”

  
  
  


 

“Laurel what the hell is this? Am I deaf? STEVE! Steve, you heard I Am Groot too, right?” Tony said, a bit miffed.

  
  
  


 

“To his own family nonetheless! I can’t believe-” Thor rambled.

  
  
  


 

“He only said I AM GROOT! What!?!”

  
  
  


 

“Oh, okay. Groot is a language. I know it and Thor knows it,” Laurel supplied.

  
  
  


 

“I get that, okay. But how does Thor know it?” Clitn said.

  
  
  


 

“I took a class on Asgard.”

  
  
  


 

“Of course you did. Of course.”

  
  
  


 

**“You got some acorns on you, kid,”** **_Quill said a bit peeved._ **

  
  
  


 

**“Ever since you got a little sap, you’ve been a total d-hole!”** **_Rocket said, not tolerating Groot._ ** **“Keep it up, and I’m gonna** **_smash that thing to pieces!_ ** **”** **_he said, starting to raise his voice._ **

  
  
  


 

“Wait, are alien and human anatomies similar? If so-”

  
  
  


 

“NO! Bruce NO, that is NOT A QUESTION WE NEED ANSWERED!” Laurel screeched.

  
  
  


 

**_The Benatar slowed down to a stop, where there was wreckage and bodies from the Asgardian refugee vessel. Debris and corpses floated around aimlessly, as the Guardians seemed horrified by what they took in._ **

  
  
  


 

**“What happened?”** **_Mantis said in a soft voice._ **

  
  
  


 

**“Oh my god.”**

  
  
  


 

Thor covered his mouth with his hand. This is not something he needed to see right now. If ever. Oh,  _ gods- _

  
  
  


 

“I have a mantra for you all,” Laurel said abruptly. “If something is happening that you don’t like, just remember, We’re here to prevent this, this will never happen. Come on Thor, we’re here to prevent this, this will never happen.”

  
  
  


 

“Are they- are they all dead? Everybody?” Thor said in a small voice.

  
  
  


 

“No, hey- it’s okay, there are survivors.”

  
  
  


 

Everyone quieted down, a mixture of respect for the fallen and not knowing what to say.

  
  
  


 

Of course Rocket had to ruin the mood.

  
  
  


 

**“Well, looks like we’re not getting paid!”**

  
  
  


 

“Never mind, I don’t think I like them anymore,” Thor said sadly.

  
  
  


 

“Hey, they’re good people, it’s just, they’ve been through a lot. They’re not the most emotionally available.”

  
  
  


 

“That’s no excuse to say something like that!” Steve said, angered. That racoon didn’t have any respect for the dead.

  
  
  


 

**_Thor’s body crashed right into the windshield of the Benetar._ **   
  
  


**“Wipers! Wipers! Get it off!”** **_Rocket shouted._ **

  
  
  


Now it was everyone else’s turn to cover their mouths with their hands.

  
  
  


“Oh, my god. Are- you are- are you dead?” Bruce asked in a horrified tone.

  
  
  


 

“No,” Laurel answered for him.

  
  
  


 

“What-” Tony started.

  
  
  


 

**_Thor’s eyes opened suddenly to the gasps of the Guardians._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D
> 
> Whoever reads this end notes be blessed and have a wonderful day you absolutely beautiful creation


	17. The Guardians Stan Thor (except Quill)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mantis gets some love
> 
> (she's way too underrated)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PHASE FOUR MAH BOY HAWKEYE BEING REPRESENTED WOOP WOOP SAME WITH FALCON
> 
> Black P 2? Sign me up. Cap M 2? Maybe we figure out what the hell Fury decided to do in space.
> 
> DS2? Scary movie? Excuse me I have enough nightmares from the feels of the mcu thk u very much. Also Scarlet Witch! She desperately needs more screen time HELL FUCKING YEAHHH
> 
> Only Marvel could get Angelina Jolie to crawl out of her proverbial hole for Eternals (I have a whole new group to research now? Shit and I thought the Guardians were bad) also the cast is more diverse than a Crayola box I have a feeling I'm getting some new stans bois
> 
> I'm actually more excited for Shang-Chi than I thought I would be at first. Also, WandaVision? FUQING HOW VISION IS DEAD
> 
> lokilokilokilokilokiloki we STAN
> 
> Hopefully Marvel can do justice to the Fantastic Four. Question. Chris Evans coming back to MCU as one of the F4 or no? How do you explain that in canon? Hmmmm
> 
> The What If series is basically MCU writers making their own fanfiction super excited!!
> 
> 1 complaint. minor. WHERE DA FUQ WAS MA BOI SPIDEY I NEED TO KNOW HE'S NOT GONNA DIE IN A DITCH OR SOMETHING IN THE NEXT MOVIE (honestly I wouldn't put it past Marvel for the feels)
> 
>  
> 
> Fuck I need a disney + subscription now

_ Now it was everyone else’s turn to cover their mouths with their hands. _

  
  
  


_ “Oh, my god. Are- you are- are you dead?” Bruce asked in a horrified tone. _

  
  
  


_ “No,” Laurel answered for him. _

  
  
  


_ “What-” Tony started. _

  
  
  


**_Thor’s eyes opened suddenly to the gasps of the Guardians._ **

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


Thor let out a giant breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. As much as he lost in the future, he still had more to do for the world. He couldn’t go losing himself, too.

  
  
  


 

Tony then promptly smacked Thor on the back of the head.

  
  
  


 

“What the hell Goldilocks! You can’t go doing that all the time!”

  
  
  


 

“What’s a Goldilocks?”

  
  
  


 

Nat sighed. “Nothing to concern yourself with.”

  
  
  


 

Clint gestured confused. “What, Tony cares about us now? Where did that come from?”

  
  
  


 

“For a super spy, you really are quite stupid. If he has the capacity to care for a teenager, don’t you think that he cares for those he fought with?” Laurel said with  humor.

  
  
  


 

“exCUSE ME! I am more of a sniper agent, not an undercover agent! That is slander!”

  
  
  


 

“I remember when they sent you on an undercover mission in Albania. 2007, was it? You were acting so American it hurt,” Laurel said, to engrossed in the argument to back out now.

  
  
  


 

“How did you know about that?!” Clint said exasperated, before Laurel leveled him off with a  _ you’re proving my point  _ look.

  
  
  


 

**_Thor was dumped unceremoniously onto a table in the middle of the Guardians’ ship’s main room, where they were gathered around him as he lay unconscious._ **

  
  
  


 

**_Peter bent down slightly to inspect his face, while saying in a slightly awe-struck tone,_ ** **“How the** **_hell_ ** **is this dude still alive?”**

  
  
  


 

“This is really awkward,” Thor mumbled to himself.

  
  
  


 

“Finally!” Steve shouted.

  
  
  


 

“Finally what?”

  
  
  


 

“Finally someone else knows how awkward it is to be watched while you’re unconscious!”

  
  
  


 

Tony did a double take. “Excuse me, when did  _ that  _ happen? I thought you were just brought out of hibernation a couple days ago!”

  
  
  


 

“Did Captain America get himself a fangirl stalker?” Clint said jokingly.

  
  
  


 

“No, it was Coulson,” Steve explained.

  
  
  


 

“Exactly,” Nat said, “A fangirl stalker.”

  
  
  


 

“Who is also dead.”

  
  
  


 

“HAHA subject change!” Laurel said quickly as everybody’s face fell. 

  
  
  


 

**“He is not a dude,”** **_Drax breathed,_ ** **“You’re a dude. This- this is a man, a handsome, muscular man.”**

  
  
  


 

**“I’m muscular!”** **_Quill said in a semi-offended tone._ **

  
  
  


 

**“Ah, who are you kidding Quill. You’re one sandwich away from fat.”**

  
  
  


 

**“Yeah right,”** **_Quill said, trying to maintain some dignity._ **

  
  
  


 

**“It’s true,”** **_Drax’s voice from offscreen came in as Quill’s face fell._ ** **“You have gained a little weight.”** **_Drax motioned to his chin and his non-existent abs._ **

  
  
  


 

“You know, Laurel, I still can’t see why you like them more. They’re all idiots except for the women of the group,” Tony said annoyedly.

  
  
  


 

“I guess you guys are similar in that way,” Laurel said in her  _ try me bitch  _ voice. Holding her hand up for a high-five from Nat, which wasn’t reciprocated, but you could tell that Nat approved.

  
  
  


 

“Laurel, shut your mouth, you’re just as much of an idiot as I am,” Clint said tiredly.

  
  
  


 

Bruce watched the conversation unfold, taking sassy little sips of his Coke once in a while.

  
  
  


 

“Was that a self-burn?”

  
  
  


 

“Yes. We are both idiots. We are all idiots.” Nat gave Clint a death glare. “Except Nat.”

  
  
  


 

“Damn right,” Nat voiced.

  
  
  


 

“Man, Clint, just hold out a couple more years and you’re gonna love what Gen Z does with the internet.”

  
  
  


 

“I’m just filled with excitement.”

  
  
  


 

**“What? Gamora, do you think I’m…”** **_Quill said, his confidence wavering._ **

  
  


 

**_Gamora said nothing as she started to cross to the other side of the table, leaving a dumbfounded Quill having a self-crisis._ **

  
  


 

“He actually doesn’t look that fat to me,” Bruce noted.

  
  


 

“Well, on Midgard standards, no,” Thor supplied.

  
  


 

“Wait, hold on,” Tony said. “Is every race in the galaxy ripped except for us?”

  
  


 

“Midgard is the has the highest obesity rate per capita than any other planet in this galaxy, it has quite the reputation,” Thor said. “Why do you think my father banished me here of all places?”

  
  


 

“Wooah, okay there, no need to get personal,” Tony said grumbly, annoyed that  _ the  _ Tony Stark was actually living in a dump the entire time.

  
  


 

“So basically, we live in the backwaters of the Milky Way?” Bruce said, a bit miffed. 

  
  


 

Laurel snorted. “Please, your not the backwaters. You’re the shithole part of town.”

  
  


 

Steve had enough. “I didn’t come here just to have my entire planet insulted. Are you helping or not?”

  
  


 

“Yes I’m helping,” Laurel grumbled.

  
  


 

**_Mantis used her empath powers to feel Thor’s emotions._ ** **“He is anxious. Angry. He feels tremendous loss and guilt,”** **_she rattled off._ **

  
  


 

**“It’s like a pirate had a baby with an angel,”** **_Drax said awestruck._ **

  
  


 

**“Wow! This is a real wake-up call for me. Okay! I’m gonna get a Bowflex! I’m gonna commit!I’m gonna get some dumbells,”** **_Quill said, slightly flustered as Gamora started to pick up Thor’s arm._ **

  
  


 

“How does this guy even know what a Bowflex is? Wasn’t he kidnapped in the 80s at like, age 8 or something?” Tony said. “How on Earth does he remember those?”

  
  


 

“Infomercials are the spawn of the devil. They haunt you and haunt you and you can never forget. Ever,” Laurel said in as haunted a voice as she could muster, leaving the group a bit weirded out.

  
  


 

“Is that what future humor is like?” Steve said, a bit horrified, still not knowing what infomercials even were.

  
  


 

“Completely. It’s a stellar example.”

  
  


 

“SIGN ME THE FUCK UP!” Clint shouted.

  
  


 

**_Gamora started softly stroking Thor’s biceps, as Rocket said unamused,_ ** **“You know you can’t eat dumbells, right?”**

  
  


 

**“It’s like his muscles are made of Cotati metal fibers,”** **_Gamora said, while Quill looked on, looking mentally disturbed at this point._ **

  
  
  


 

**“Stop massaging his muscles.”**

  
  


 

**_Gamora dropped his arm with an annoyed face and an unceremonious thump._ **

  
  


 

“Forget stalker fangirls! This guy had a stalker fanclub and they didn’t know who he was 5 minutes ago!” Clint said exasperated.

  
  


 

“I- thank you? I guess? It’s just- weird,” Thor said, a bit speechless at the conversation taking place on screen.

  
  


 

“What? Weird? These guys saved your life and think you’re hot and are dissing the hottest guy on their squad into submission! That is like a playboy’s  _ dream, _ ” Tony said exasperatedly.

  
  


 

“I am no boy, nor do I play around like you petty people. I have responsibilities, and these people make me uncomfortable,” Thor said as though it was obvious.

  
  


 

“Don’t worry about it. If this all goes right, then this is not how you’ll be meeting them for the first time,” Laurel said, wrenching the popcorn away from a disgruntled Clint before hissing  _ “summon your own damn popcorn, this is mine!”  _

  
  


 

“What about the second time?”

  
  


 

“No comment.” Thor sighed deeply before he resigned himself to his fate of unconscious flattery.

  
  


 

**“Wake him up,”** **_Quill whispered into Mantis’ ear._ **

  
  


 

**_Mantis placed her hand on Thor’s forehead once more._ ** **“Wake,”** **_she said simply as her antennae glowed a soft blue._ **

  
  


 

“Wait, she can just  _ wake people up?”  _ Bruce said, awestruck.

  
  


 

“Yeah, she can put people to sleep, too! She’s one of my favorites,” Laurel admitted.

  
  


 

“Do you have any idea what that could do to the world of science? What if- can she wake people up from comas?”

  
  


 

“What do you think she just did?”

  
  


 

“Oh. My god. Laurel, this woman is a walking anesthetic, and can wake people up if need be- she should be a doctor if she ever comes to Earth! Think of all the people she could save! She’s an empath too, oh my gosh she would be a very good therapist, she should get hired at a hospital stat-”

  
  


 

“I know, right? She’s so underrated! She’s like, the field medic of the Avengers,” Laurel agreed.

  
  


 

**_Thor leaped off the bed, jumpscaring the Guardians, who rushed offscreen as Thor came to his senses and turned around slowly, where the Guardians stood, weapons of choice drawn, which in Groot’s case was his video game._ **

  
  


 

**“Who the hell are you guys?”**


	18. 7 Morons Sitting In a Circle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I AM BACK

_In the last chapter:_

 

 

**_Thor leaped off the bed, jumpscaring the Guardians, who rushed offscreen as Thor came to his senses and turned around slowly, where the Guardians stood, weapons of choice drawn, which in Groot's case was his video game._ **

 

 

**_"Who the hell are you guys?"_ **

 

 

\---

 

 

"Are their weapons as cool as Strange's magic?" Tony asked, interested in Quill's blaster.

 

 

 

"HA!" Clint shouted victoriously, "So you admitted it was cool!"

 

 

 

"No!" Tony tried to backtrack immediately, "I still think the nanotech is better, it's just-"

 

 

 

"Don't kid yourself Tony, nothing you ever make will ever be as cool as Strange's magic. Ever," Laurel said, followed by Tony  making _a_ pshhh sound, "And Quill's blasters may be cool to you, but they're pretty common in the galaxy- sort of their equivalent of guns."

 

 

 

Bruce tilted his head. "Are they different in any way than the rest of the galaxy? Like, any powers that make them different?"

 

 

 

"The power of friendship? I mean, Gamora and Quill have years' worth of  training by assassins and thieves? Does that count?" Laurel said, trying to back up the Guardians as much as possible.

 

 

 

"No, it really doesn't," Tony said before _immediately regretting saying that_ in front of two trained assassins.

 

 

 

**"The entire time I knew Thanos, he only ever had one goal** **_," Gamora said, solemnly staring into a door frame_ ** **. "To bring balance to the universe by wiping out half of all life. He used to kill people planet by planet, massacre by massacre…"**

 

 

 

 _This lady knows too much about Thanos,_ Nat thought to herself.

 

 

 

"Wait just a minute!" Thor said, angrily stomping towards Laurel, trying his best to look intimidating, "Does this- man, no- this _monster_ cause Ragnarok? Is he the cause? Does he _murder_  half of my people? LAUREL!"

 

 

 

Laurel snapped out of her head. "N-no!" she sputtered, "No, it wasn't him, it wasn't Thanos!" she said, trying to calm an angry Thor down.

 

 

 

"Then who was it!?"

 

 

 

Laurel looked down to avoid eye contact. "I can't tell you that." she said, as quietly as possible.

 

 

 

 "Is it another of your small, Midguardian _movies_?" Thor said bitterly.

 

 

 

"Yeah," Laurel said quietly, which made Thor sit down with a little _hmph!_ Of frustration.

 

 

 

**"Including my own,"** **_Drax said quietly._ **

 

 

 

"Is that his motivation? Did he lose someone too?" Steve asked respectfully.

 

 

 

Laurel answered with only a slight nod, which was more than enough.

 

 

 

**"If he gets all six Infinity Stones, he can do it with the snap of his fingers, like this,"** **_Gamora continued, snapping her fingers in example in the silence of the room, letting it reverberate hauntingly._ **

 

 

 

Bruce gasped slightly. "With just a snap?" he asked to no one in particular.

 

 

 

"This woman seems to know a lot about the Infinity Stones and Thanos' plan," Clint said, squinting his brow, "Almost too much. Something is definitely up." He looked to Laurel for answers, while Nat looked on approvingly.

 

 

 

Steve raised his eyebrow disapprovingly. "100% hero?" he asked, still distrusting of the rag-tag bunch.

 

 

 

"Yes."

 

 

 

**"You seem to know a great deal about Thanos,"** **_Thor said, grimly staring while eating soup._ **

 

 

 

Clint looked back to the screen in surprise. _Well, well, color me impressed. He caught on almost as fast as I did,_ he thought happily, before he realized, _oh shit, he realized as fast as I did. And he was in emotional turmoil. Am I that bad?_

 

 

 

Laurel grilled that thought out of him with ass fond a glare as possible.

 

 

 

**_Drax spoke up again._ ** **"Gamora… is the daughter of Thanos."**

 

 

 

Half the room erupted with shouts and glares.

 

 

 

"WHAT!" Clint cried angrily, "That DIPSHIT!" he said, thinking about his time mind controlled, now he has cohorts to pass the disturbed tradition of massacres on to-

 

 

 

Steve shook his head, disappointed that Laurel would lie to them about her being a 'hero'. Could they even trust her anymore?

 

 

 

Bruce twinged green slightly at the neck at the thought of having to work as a… team with what could easily be a spy.

 

 

 

Thor was the angriest, though.

 

 

 

"RAGH!" he shouted, too angry to make a coherent string of words out of his angry thoughts.

 

 

 

Tony, surprisingly, said nothing, only tilting his head, before looking down, deep in thought.

 

 

 

Nat rolled her eyes and sighed, immediately understanding what the others wouldn't while Laurel simply retreated slightly into herself at the glare Steve was giving her.

 

 

 

"You really are all idiots, aren't you," Nat drawled slightly, inviting a challenge. Steve took the bait.

 

 

 

"What?" he said, venom in his voice, "Are we idiots for not trusting the enemy?"

 

 

 

Nat sighed deeper. "She's not the enemy, Laurel was right, she actually is a hero."

 

 

 

Thor glared slightly. "Oh, please explain," he voiced with a little sarcasm.

 

 

 

"I was getting to that. Now, she doesn't exactly have a fond tone about it, huh? She doesn't go around calling him 'Dear old Dad', she calls him by his first name. Second, she was trained as an assassin. No loving parent would let that happen-"

 

 

 

"But Thanos is her father, he _raised_ her-"

 

 

 

Tony glanced up from his thoughts, before biting, "That doesn't always mean that they were good at it."

 

 

 

 

**_Thor stood up with a calm anger, stalking towards Gamora at a threateningly slow pace._ **

 

 

 

**"Your father** **_killed_ ** **my brother."**

 

 

 

**"Oh boy. Stepfather, actually,"** **_Quill added, unhelpfully._ ** **"Technically, she hates him as much as you do."**

 

 

 

Bruce was taken aback. What in the world could've happened to her to have her hate him so much? Was it a simple betrayal, or was it… worse than that? Just the thought of it sent shivers through his spine.

 

 

 

**_Thor's face fell in surprise sympathy._ ** **"Families can be tough,"** **_he said gently, while clapping a hand on her shoulder._ ** **"Before my father died, he told me I had a half-sister… that he imprisoned in Hel. Then she returned home,"** **_he said wistfully,_ ** **"and stabbed me in the eye, so… I had to kill her. It's life, isn't it. Goes round and round, I guess… I feel your pain."**

 

 

 

Thor just stared dumbly at the screen.

 

 

 

Clint sighed majestically before going, "I guess that's the family drama you were referencing earlier?"

 

 

 

Laurel facepalmed. "Dammit, I forgot that that line practically spoils all of Thor's third movie! Shit!"

 

 

 

Steve frowned. "There seems to be a trend here. How many evil siblings do you have, anyways, Thor?"

 

 

 

Thor's brain finally caught up. "Wait, wait, WHAT? I have a sister? In Hel?" Thor frowned to himself, trying to find out what possibly could have caused her to end up there. He then gasped slightly again.

 

 

 

"Wait, does _she_ cause Ragnarok?"

 

 

 

Laurel sighed. "Yes, but also no."

 

 

 

Tony clapped slowly. "Such an enlightning answer."

 

 

 

Bruce sighed. "Movie?"

 

 

 

"Movie," Laurel confirmed.

 

 

 

**_Quill glared at Thor's hand that was softly massaging Gamora's shoulder before inserting himself in the conversation, trying to win himself brownie points._ **

 

 

 

**"And I feel your pain, as well. I mean, it's not a competition or anything…"**

 

 

 

"Is this guy seriously trying to one-up Movie Thor with tragic backgrounds?" Clint said, staring at Quill's face with what could only be described as thoughtful confusion.

 

 

 

"Yes, he be like that though. It's his style?"

 

 

 

"What, jealousy? That's his style?" Nat scoffed.

 

 

 

Laurel shrugged. "I think of it as more self-awareness than anything."

 

 

 

"BURN!"

 

 

 

"Congratulations Tony, you used it right."

 

 

 

"I don't get it," Thor said.

 

 

 

"Well, he knows he's ugly. He's aware of himself."

 

 

 

"So why isn't Clint self-aware?"

 

 

 

"You MOTHERFU-" Clint said, lunging across the aisle and spilling Bruce's Coke, much to his annoyance.

 

 

 

**"I've been through a lot. My father killed my mother, then I had to kill my father. And that was hard. Probably harder than having to kill a sister. Plus, I came out of it with both my eyes-"**

 

 

 

"That is quite the backstory, though," Steve admitted. "I couldn't imagine having to do that."

 

 

 

"Oh, don't lose any sleep over it, he was a dick. Don't miss him in the slightest. And he spoiled another movie again! UGH!"

 

 

 

"Wait," Bruce said, putting together the pieces, "You made a movie about Quill murdering his father?"

 

 

 

"Yes? God, you make it sound so dark. I made it a comedy." Bruce just stared at Laurel unfazingly.

 

 

 

Tony shrugged it off. "Wait, so who here even has the most tragic backstory?"

 

 

 

Laurel sat deep in thought. "Probably Wanda, 'cause she lost like _everyone_ , and was villainized. And hated." _or Bucky,_ she thought to herself, but she didn't want to ruin the surprise for Steve later.

 

 

 

**_Thor didn't spare a second glance to Quill, before saying,_ ** **"I need a hammer, not a spoon…"**

 

 

 

"Yeah, buddy," Tony said, "Where's your trusty Home Depot sledgehammer?"

 

 

 

Thor sent him a withered glance. "How would I know?"

 

 

 

"You, uh, just don't have it right now. Uh. Movie?"

 

 

 

**_Thor stood up and strode over to a keypad-like thing on the wall._ ** **"How do I open this thing? Is there some sort of four digit maybe… maybe a birth date or something…"** **_he mumbled more to himself than anyone else._ **

 

 

 

**"What are you doing?"** **_Quill asked, confused._ **

 

 

 

**"Taking your pod,"** **_Thor replied simply._ **

 

 

 

**"No you're not!"** **_Quill said, getting in touch with his masculine side and deepening his voice to a more 'threatening' tone (a.k.a mimicking Thor's voice),_ ** **"You'll not be taking our pod today, sir."**

 

 

 

Thor crinkled his eyebrows. "I'm not sure whether to be honored or annoyed."

 

 

 

"I'd say honored," Tony supplied.

 

 

 

"I'd say annoyed," Laurel said.

 

 

 

"Yeah, 'cause you have a teenager voice," Clint added.

 

 

 

"Oh, yeah, no," Laurel said with a tinge of humor to her voice, "This isn't my real voice. Voice comes with the outfit."

 

 

 

Bruce looked at her with a face that screamed, _did we really need to know that?_

 

 

 

**_Rocket's face made a confused cringe._ ** **"Quill, are you making your voice deeper?"**

 

 

 

**_Quill looked to the side a bit, before grunting out a quick "no" that told everyone in the room that he was._ **

 

 

 

**"You are!"** **_Drax said._ ** **"You're imitating the god-man! It's weird!"**

 

 

 

**"No I'm not!"** **_Quill kept denying._ **

 

 

 

**"*gasp* You just did it again!"** **_Mantis exclaimed accusingly._ **

 

 

 

**"This is my voice!"**

 

 

 

Tony sighed. "So they're idiots?"

 

 

 

"Yeah! Lovable idiots, though!"

 

 

 

Clint looked exasperated. "And this is why you like them?"

 

 

 

"Uh-huh."

 

 

 

"So wait. You don't think we're idiots?" Tony said with a slight grin.

 

 

 

Laurel beamed. "Oh, no, of course not. You've transcended that category. You're in absolute stupidity now. Except you Nat, of course."

 

 

 

Nat gave her a bit of side-eye. "That's what I thought."

 

 

 

**_Thor stepped back into intimidation mode, taking a short step in Quill's direction._ ** **"Are you mocking me?"** **_he said in a deathly voice._ **

 

 

 

**_Quill, obviously not getting the seriousness of the situation, screwed up his face before saying back,_ ** **"Are you mocking me?"**

 

 

 

**"Stop it. You did it again."**

 

 

 

**_Quill turned to the rest of his crew._ ** **"He's trying to copy me."**

 

 

 

**"Would you stop doing that? He's doing it first."**

 

 

 

Nat was practically at the point of banging her head against the wall until it was all over. She couldn't believe that she was actually going to side up with lovable idiots, as Laurel so gracefully dubbed them. Idiots was the correct assessment off their characters. Lovable? Maybe. Immature? Nat rolled her eyes. That's for certain.

 

 

 

**_Gamora, being the sensible one as always, jutted in before the conversation could devolve further._ ** **"Enough! We need to stop Thanos. Which means that we need to find out where he's going."**

 

 

 

**_Thor stopped._ ** **"Knowhere,"** **_he muttered._ **

 

 

 

"What kind of logic is that?" Steve half-chuckled. He must be going somewhere."

 

 

 

**"He must be going somewhere,"** **_Mantis inputted, similar to Steve._ **

 

 

 

Steve's face dropped a bit.

 

 

 

"Aw, you said the same thing as the cinnamon bun. Wait, Laurel," Tony sniggered, "Is Steve a cinnamon bun?"

 

 

 

Laurel smirked a bit and bit her lip. "You could say that."

 

 

 

Clint and Tony burst into laughter, to the face of a disgruntled Steve.

 

 

 

"Tony, I thought we pinkie-promised!" he said in a somewhat scolding tone.

 

 

 

"Hey! The pinkie promise is that we wouldn't kill each other. Teasing was not on the table."

 

 

 

"I still don't even know what a cinnamon bun is," Steve grumbled.

 

 

 

**"No. Knowhere? It's a place. We've been there. It sucks."** **_Thor started rummaging through their food pile._ ** **"Excuse me, that's** **_our_ ** **food."**

 

 

 

**"Not anymore."**

 

 

 

Thor glared disappointedly at his older self. He was the literal Prince of Asgard, and he was stooping so low as to steal from this rag-tag group of semi-heroes? Well, as Midguardians say, desperate times call for desperate measures. Not to mention they kind of deserved it.

 

 

 

**"Thor… why would he go to Knowhere?"** **_Gamora asked interestedly._ **

 

 

 

**"Because for years, the Reality Stone has been safely stored, there with a man we call the Collector."**

 

 

 

Steve hastily scribbled down the new information in his notebook, as the others discussed.

 

 

 

"Ugh. It's with the Collector?" Thor said disgruntled. "He is not very honorable."

 

 

 

"I know, right?" Laurel said, gesturing for emphasis, "I _hate_ that guy!"

 

 

 

Bruce looked confused. "Who the heck is the Collector?"

 

 

 

Laurel sighed. "He's like if the black market was one guy, but he only bought things and never sold them. He's a hoarder, but he only hoards the most dangerous and illegal stuff in the galaxy."

 

 

 

**"If it's with the Collector, than it's not safe. Only an idiot would give that man a Stone** **_," Quill said._ **

 

 

 

**"Or a genius** **_," Thor said insightfully._ **

 

 

 

**_Gamora turned her attention fully to Thor_ ** **. "How do you know he's not going for any of the other Stones?"**

 

 

 

**"There's six Stones out there. Thanos already has the Power Stone because he stole it last week, when he decimated Xandar. He stole the Space Stone from me when he destroyed my ship and slaughtered half my people. The Time and Mind Stones are safe on Earth. They're with the Avengers."**

 

 

 

**"The Avengers?"** **_Quill asked, confusedly._ **

 

 

 

**"They're Earth's mightiest heroes,"** **_he explained._ **

 

 

 

Bruce gestured to the screen. "Why are you suddenly calling it Earth now? I thought you were all in for calling it Midgard?"

 

 

 

"I honestly have no idea," Thor said.

 

 

 

"It's also known as Terra and C-53!" Laurel added unhelpfully.

 

 

 

"Why does outer space even speak English and have our alphabet?"

 

 

 

"Mysteries of the universe, I guess," Laurel said.

 

 

 

**"Like Kevin Bacon?"** **_Mantis said excitedly._ **

 

 

 

**_Thor paused slightly in thought._ ** **"He may be on the team. I don't know. I haven't been there in a while. As for the Soul Stone, well, no one's ever seen that. No one even knows where it is. Therefore, Thanos can't get it. Therefore, he's going to Knowhere. Hence, he'll be getting the Reality Stone. You're welcome,"** **_He finished with a small vocal flourish._ **

 

 

 

"Wow Thor gotta flex on them huh?" Laurel screeched only to get pointedly ignored by the team.

 

 

 

 

"Who's Kevin Bacon? Is he a famous warrior in this century?" Steve said interestedly. "Where can we recruit him?"

 

 

 

Tony looked Steve square in the face for two full seconds before bursting into laughter so fierce he was on the verge of tears.

 

 

 

Bruce chuckled along with Clint. "What?" Steve said, a bit miffed that his legitimate question was laughed upon.

 

 

 

"H-he's an actor!" Tony coughed out.

 

 

 

**"Then we have to go to Knowhere, now,"** **_Gamora said simply._ **

 

 

 

**"Wrong!"** **_Thor said, flexing again,_ ** **"Where we have to go is Nidavellir."**

 

 

 

**_Rocket quickly inserted himself in the conversation at the thought of Nidavellir._ ** **"Hold up, Nidavellir is real?"** **_He said, climbing on a table to make himself taller,_ ** **"Seriously? I mean, that place is a legend. They make the most powerful, horrific weapons to ever torment the Universe. I would very much like to go there, please!"** **_he finished with a weird excitement._ **

 

 

 

"I've heard that's where Mjolnir was made!" Thor said excitedly, "In the heart of a dying star!"

 

 

 

"Yep," Laurel said simply.

 

 

 

"Wait, his hammer qualifies as a powerful, horrific weapon when even Steve's shield can repel it and my suit can absorb it's lightning and my armor _still_ doesn't qualify as cool?" Tony said, a bit salty.

 

 

 

"I mean, it is vibranium," Steve said, thinking proudly of his shield.

 

 

 

"There are things that can still break vibranium," Laurel said. "That means that Odin forged Mjolnir out of a sub-par metal."

 

 

 

Thor frowned. "I'm starting to not like Odin that much anymore. I'll have to talk to him about all this… family drama."

 

 

 

"Yeah, when you think about it, Odin really gives off some dickish vibes, huh? Some serious A+ parenting, there," Laurel grimaced.

 

 

 

**"The rabbit is correct, and clearly the smartest among you."**

 

 

 

**"Rabbit?"** **_Rocket said, slightly pissed and confused._ **

 

 

 

**"Only Eitri the dwarf king can make me the weapon I need."** **_Thor turned to Rocket._ ** **"I assume you're the captain, sir?"**

 

 

 

"Honestly, I would've assumed Gamora was the captain," Clint said. "Seems the most in charge there."

 

 

 

"In a perfect world, Mantis would be captain and they'd all do great things, but, you know, Quill does the job well enough. For now," Laurel said hintingly.

 

 

 

**"You're very perceptive,"** **_Rocket said, claiming the title for himself like it was second nature._ **

 

 

 

**"You seem like a noble leader,"** **_Thor complimented, probably just to grate on Quill's nerves,_ ** **"Will you join me on my quest to Nidavellir?"**

 

 

 

"Are you just saying that to annoy Quill?" Bruce asked.

 

 

 

"No, Rocket is actually a much better fit for leader than Quill will ever be," Thor admitted.

 

 

 

"That is… incorrect," Laurel tried to defend, "You've only seen him in action for about 2 and a half minutes."

 

 

 

"Well, would you say that this is a good example of his character?"

 

 

 

"Well… dammit, stop putting me in a corner!"

 

 

 

**"Lemme just ask the captain. Oh wait! That's me!"** **_Rocket said with humor._ **

 

 

 

**"Wonderful."**

 

 

 

**"Except** **_I'm_ ** **the captain,"** **_Quill tried to defend._ **

 

 

 

**"Quiet!"** **_Thor shouted._ **

 

 

 

**"That's** **_my backpack!_ ** **"** **_Quill shouted, on his last nerve._ **

 

 

 

**"Go sit down,"** **_Rocket told him._ **

 

 

 

"Such friendship here. This is turning from a family roadtrip into a mutiny. Congratulations, Thor!" Clint said sarcastically.

 

 

 

"Well, what can I say? I tend to have that effect on people," Thor said quite smugly.

 

 

 

**_Quill turned to Thor._ ** **"Look, this is my ship. I'm not going to…"** **_Quill gestured in the air, looking for the word Nidavellir,_ ** **"Wait, what kind of wea[on are we talking about here?"**

 

 

 

**"The Thanos-killing kind,"**

 

 

 

Steve wrote that down dutifully, under a heading labeled _Powerful, Horrific Weapons?_ As if he didn't really want to have them.

 

 

 

**"Don't you think we should all have a weapon like that?"** **_Quill said, making a good point._ **

 

 

 

**"No. You simply lack the strength to wield them. Your bodies will crumble as your minds collapse into madness."**

 

 

 

Steve's eyes blew wide, immediately doubling back to his heading and scribbling it out hastily as if it would stop anyone from getting the idea to forge the weapon in the first place.

 

 

 

Tony however, was almost giddy with the thought of it. "Laurel! LAUREL!"

 

 

 

Laurel sighed. "What unnecessary fact does your teeny pathetic mind want to know?"

 

 

 

"First of all: rude. Second, could I wield one of those weapons?"

 

 

 

Laurel scrunched her eyebrows. "I thought we just established that you couldn't?"

 

 

 

"Well, hear me out. What if, my mind already technically collapsed into madness a while ago, huh? You can't break what's already broken!"

 

 

 

Everybody stared, _what the fuck Tony_ written all over their faces.

 

 

 

**"Is it weird that I want to do it even more now?"** **_Rocket sad with sadistic excitement._ **

 

 

 

**"A little bit. Yeah,"** **_Thor agreed._ **

 

 

 

"Wow, are all animals a bit sadistic and we just never knew?" Clint said in fake thoughtfulness.

 

 

 

"No, it's just him. Another backstory," Laurel said, as if that explained it all. "Well, Groot can be a little sadistic sometimes. He's a true gen-z icon."

 

 

 

**"If we don't go to Knowhere and Thanos retrieves another Stone, he'll be too powerful to stop,"** **_Gamora said, always the serious one._ **

 

 

 

**"He already is."**

 

 

 

"Is everyone so sadistic in the future?" Clint said. "Honestly, Tony is the only one we've seen that has any sort of plan for the future, and well- I mean, what has the world come to if _Tony_ is making plans for the future?" Tony let out an indignant "HEY!".

 

 

 

"Well, sadistic worlds require dry and sadistic humor. You evolved, to put it lightly," Laurel said, leaving Clint to ponder the meaning of her vague words.

 

 

 

**"I got it figured out. We got two ships, and a large assortment of morons. So me and Groot will go with the pirate-angel here, and the  morons will go to Knowhere to try and stop Thanos. Cool? Cool,"** **_he said, emboldened with his new title of Captain._ **

 

 

 

**"So cool,"** **_Thor said with a big smile._ **

 

 

 

**"For the record,"** **_Quill started, trying desperately for one last chance to save his dignity,_ ** **"I know that you're only going with him because it's where Thanos isn't."**

 

 

 

**"You know, Quill, you shouldn't talk to your captain like that,"** **_Rocket snarked as he entered the pod,_ ** **"Come on, Groot, put that game down, you'll rot your** **brain."**

 

 

 

"He is such a dad."

 

 

 

"Well, going with the theme of weird family dynamics, everyone is basically a parental figure to Groot. They raised him since he was a little twig. He's basically the glue in between the team."

 

 

 

Nat smirked. "Because everyone would hate each other without him?"

 

 

 

"Pretty much. He's like the Clint of the Guardians."

 

 

 

"exCUSE ME!"

 

 

 

**_Thor entered the pod right behind them._ ** **"I bid you good luck and farewell, morons!"**

 

 

 

**_The pod then disengaged from the ship before shooting off into space._ **


	19. Why Did Laurel Make them watch a makeout session?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WaNdA and ViSIoN *mwah*
> 
> Also WE HIT 10000 HITS PARTY
> 
> thanks for all the support! This blew up way more than expected considering it’s about a year too late, but I really appreciate it, and sometimes you guys got me through a couple of times when I was tempted to abandon the work, and I’m so glad I didn’t!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do I always draw out 1 minute scenes into 2000 words my god

_ In the last chapter: _

  
  
  


 

**_Thor entered the pod right behind them. “I bid you good luck and farewell, morons!”_ **

  
  


 

 

**_The pod disengaged from the ship before shooting off into space._ **

  
  
  
  


 

 

 

 

\---

  
  
  


 

 

**_The scene changed abruptly to a hotel room, where a woman sat in bed while a man opened the curtains, before a high-pitched trilling sound entered the air._ **

  
  


 

 

**_The man gasped, putting his hand to his head in apparent pain, while Wanda looked up to see what the noise was._ **

  
  


 

 

**“Vis? Is it the stone again?”**

  
  


 

 

Bruce wrinkled his nose. “The Stone?”

  
  


 

 

Laurel stared at him. “Have you seriously forgotten the Stones? Jesus Bruce-”

  
  


 

 

“Of course I haven’t forgotten, it’s just- wait, is this Vision?”

  
  


 

 

That peaked Tony’s interest. “This is the 3-year-old robot?”

  
  


 

 

“Yeah, my precious cinnamon roll.”

  
  


 

 

Clint threw his hands up in the air. “How many damn cinnamon rolls are there?”

  
  


 

 

Laurel made a show of counting her fingers. “Well, let’s see. Mantis, Vision, Peter, Groot, Tony-”

  
  


 

 

Tony squawked indignantly while Clint scoffed at Laurel, half-offended by not including him on that list.

  
  


 

 

**“It’s as if it’s speaking to me,”** **_Vision said softly._ **

  
  


 

 

“Wait, are the Stones… sentient?” Thor asked disbelievingly.

  
  


 

 

Laurel contemplated for a second. “No one, not even me, knows the Stones that well. All that I know is their origin, their location in space and time, and their end.”

  
  


 

 

“So basically, we have talking rocks now, oh _how_ _fun!”_ Tony practically screeched.

  
  


 

 

“We have literally seen a racoon talking with a tree, two aliens, a bug lady, and a half-alien. What can you not understand about just rolling with the punches?” Nat exclaimed, astonished by his genius side refusing to let themselves believe anything.

  
  


 

 

“I mean, I just go with the flow,” Clint said.

  
  


 

 

“That’s why I like you. You’re dumb,” she smirked.

  
  


 

 

“Oh you LITTLE-”

  
  


 

 

“You might wanna think twice before saying that.”

  
  


 

 

**_Wanda got out of the bed, making her way calmly to Vision._ ** **“What does it say?”** **_she said, surprisingly calmly._ **

  
  


 

 

**“I don’t- I don’t know. But something,”** **_he said in a small voice._ **

  
  


 

 

**_The Stone made another sound, causing Vision to flinch, so Wanda cupped his face with her hands._ **

  
  


 

 

“Oooh, is this something shippable I see coming this way?” Clint said excitedly.

  
  


 

 

“Oh yes, my fellow sailor. Board the WandaVision ship, ‘cause we setting sail right here. I wasn’t lying when I said more was coming.”

  
  


 

 

“I thought he was a robot?” Bruce questioned, only to be drowned out by Tony.

  
  


 

 

“Wait, this is Wanda? The person-that-can-destroy-the-Stones Wanda?”

  
  


 

 

“Yes.”

  
  


 

 

“The hates-my-guts-wants-to-kill-me Wanda?”

  
  


 

 

Laurel gritted her teeth. “Yes,” she said.

  
  


 

 

“And she has the  _ audacity  _ to hook up with my robot?”

  
  


 

 

“He’s not  _ your robot.” _

  
  


 

 

Clint smirked. “If anything, he’s  _ her  _ robot now-”

  
  


 

 

Steve looked gobsmacked. “ _ Clint!” _

  
  


 

 

“Oh come on, he totally set himself up for that one-”

  
  


 

 

**_Vision gently kissed Wanda’s left palm._ **

  
  


 

 

Tony tutted in disapproval. “Of all the people-”

  
  


 

 

“He has a better track record than you, Stark.”

  
  


 

 

“I get  _ all  _ the ladies! He inherited my roguish good looks!”

  
  


 

 

Thor looked confused. “But he looks and acts different from you in every conceivable way.”

  
  


 

 

“Shocker, it’s almost like he was trying not to look like you.”

  
  


 

 

“I mean, I understand why,” Steve said with a smirk.

  
  


 

 

Clint gasped dramatically. “Now that I think about it, he does look more like Steve- do you think it’s correlated? The less you look like Tony the better? ‘Cause if so-”

  
  


 

 

“Alright fine! Just don’t come to me when you’re old and alone, and in case you’ve forgotten, I’m getting a future wife here-”

  
  


 

 

“We are here to change the future. Who knows, man-”

  
  


 

 

“Bruce! How could you betray me?”

  
  


 

 

 

**_Vision put her hand on his forehead, before saying,_ ** **“Tell me what you feel.”**

  
  


 

 

Bruce held the question in his mind. What would Vision feel like? Skin or metal?

 

 

 

 

Laurel sent him a glance.

  
  


 

 

Right. Not important. Focus.

  
  


 

 

**_Wanda gestured her hand, allowing red energy to seep out of her fingertips and into the Mind Stone._ **

  
  


 

 

Steve gasped in wonder. “That is so amazing,” he said in awe of Wanda’s powers. “I’ve never seen anything like it.” Tony really had to try to not make a pun on how Cap hadn’t seen a lot of things, being alive in the 40s and all.

  
  


 

 

Nat looked on in awe, although she didn’t show it. What was the extent of this lady’s powers? Laurel said she tried to kill Stark- was she a good person? Laurel said she was on our side, but apparently the Guardians were too but the jury was still out on whether they qualified as good people or not.

  
  


 

 

Even Thor seemed to be impressed. “We have nothing like that on Asgard.”

  
  


 

 

Tony looked to Thor. “On Asgard, do you have people like us?”

  
  


 

 

“Oh yes, technology, strength, accuracy, and fighting skill are all better on Asgard than on Midgard. Except for Natasha, perhaps. Now that I think about it, I would very much like to see you and Lady Sif spar.”

  
  


 

 

“I’ll put it on the calendar,” Nat said dryly, while Tony sidled up to Thor. “Hey buddy, wanna hook me up with some of that tech?” He whispered as quietly as possible.

  
  


 

 

**_Wanda looked at Vision confused._ ** **“I just feel you.”**

  
  


 

 

Bruce finally admitted. “I am so confused about so many things right now. Is Vision a projection of the Mind Stone, or is the Mind Stone and him in a symbiotic relationship? Like, what even-”

  
  


 

 

“Let me answer that. Vision is made up of many parts, all separate but all working together to make Vision who he is. I know it sounds disgusting, but it’s like the Mind Stone is one of his organs? I’m so sorry-”

  
  


 

 

Bruce looked cheerful. “That actually clears up a lot, thanks!”

  
  


 

 

**_Vision put a hand on her face, gazing at her with a look filled with love._ **

  
  


 

 

Tony made fake retching sounds. “If this gets any more sappy, I swear-”

  
  


 

 

**_They dipped their heads together for a long, drawn-out makeout session._ **

  
  


 

 

“Godammit,” Tony said simply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short, but APUSH fried my brain, so put half the blame on my teacher and half the blame on my procrastination


	20. A Romantic Stroll through a Suspiciously Empty Street

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am honestly heartbroken at Sony and Disney's inability to get along, putting Spidey in jeopardy for leaving the MCU. It was a mistake on both their parts, an unwillingness to compromise that shows both studios really do care more about their profits than their customers. I am honestly ashamed for both of them and they showed less sharing skills than my 5-year-old cousin. They better fix this.
> 
> From, an MCU fan
> 
> (P.S.) even if the deal doesn't work out, please give us some closure for the character. What would happen to him after Far From Home. Because honestly, it would just be cruel to leave us there.

**_Vision put a hand on her face, gazing at her with a look filled with love._ **

  
  


 

 

_ Tony made fake retching sounds. “If this gets any more sappy, I swear-” _

  
  


 

 

**_They dipped their heads together for a long, drawn-out makeout session._ **

  
  


 

 

_ “Godammit,” Tony said simply. _

  
  
  


 

 

 

 

\---

  
  
  


 

 

**_The screen changed to Vision and Wanda walking down a barren street while the location card showed_ ** **“SCOTLAND”.**

  
  
  


 

 

Steve frowned. “Scotland? If Stark does make Avengers Tower and another base upstate- what are they doing in Scotland?”

  
  


 

 

“Ever heard of vacation?” Laurel said jokingly, “No, they have to sort of steal these moments away.”

  
  


 

 

Clint looked confusedly. “Why?”

  
  


 

 

“Umm…” Laurel trailed off. “Each one’s on a different side of the Civil War.”

  
  


 

 

Tony and Steve snuck a quick glance at each other, having a silent conversation through looks.

  
  


 

 

**“So there’s a 10 A.M to Glasgow to give us more time together before you went back,”** **_Wanda said._ **

  
  


 

 

**“What if I miss that train?”**

  
  


 

 

**“There is an 11.”**

  
  


 

 

**“What if I missed all the trains? What if this time, I didn’t go back?”**

  
  


 

 

Tony sat up straighter in his seat. “Is he… betraying me? Is this his villain origin story?”

  
  


 

 

Laurel placed a well-aimed smack. “Don’t call him a villain! Nobody on our side is the villain!”

  
  


 

 

“Not even Loki?” Clint deadpanned.

  
  


 

 

“Well, I’d call him more a rebel than a villain-”

  
  


 

 

“Don’t. Just, please,” Thor said with a pleading look. Laurel quickly caught herself and ducked her head.

  
  


 

 

**“You gave Stark your word,”** **_Wanda said, confused._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Vision immediately replied,_ ** **“I’d rather give it to you.”**

  
  


 

 

“Okay, that is it. He is officially disowned,” Tony said saltily.

  
  


 

 

“Hey, he’s not just yours. You’d have to get the co-parents to sign that too!” Laurel said cheekily, hoping someone would pick up the bait.

  
  


 

 

Steve fell for it. “Co-parents? Who?”

  
  


 

 

Laurel rubbed her hands together in anticipation. Explaining Vision’s lineage was gonna be fun.

  
  


 

 

“Okay. Hear me out. So, Vision has a mother and 5 fathers-”

  
  


 

 

Bruce choked on his rapidly dwindling supply of soda. “What?” he sputtered.

  
  


 

 

“What do you not get about hearing me out? Okay. So he has a mother and 5 fathers, two of which are also his grandparents, and two of which is also his brothers.”

  
  


 

 

Everyone looked slightly horrified, before Clint muttered, “Explain. Now.”

  
  


 

 

“Helen Cho, Tony, Bruce, Thor, J.A.R.V.I.S, and another AI. That’s all I’m saying.”

  
  


 

 

Steve looked immensely distraught as he turned towards his teammates.

  
  


 

 

Clint looked like he had been thrown for a loop. “What the fuck,” he mumbled.

  
  


 

 

**“Well, there are people who are expecting me too, you know,”** **_Wanda said tiredly._ ** **“We both made promises…”**

  
  


 

 

**“Not to each other. Wanda…”** **_Vision said, gently caressing her shoulder._ ** **“For two years we’ve stolen these moments, trying to see if this could work, and… I don’t know,”** **_He said, before stammering a bit._ ** **“You know what, I’m just gonna speak for myself. I- I think…”**

  
  


 

 

**“It works.”**

  
  


 

 

**“It works,”** **_Vision hummed in affirmation._ **

  
  


 

 

Nat shifted in her seat before boredly saying, “Why are you making us watch this.”

  
  


 

 

Laurel sputtered. “Don’t- don’t you wanna save the world? I mean-”

  
  


 

 

Nat glared. “Of course I want to save the world, I mean, why do we have to watch-  _ this? _ ”

  
  


 

 

Tony got the message. “Yeah, why do we have to see a robot-human love story to save the world? I mean, it isn’t necessary.”

  
  


 

 

Laurel looked offended. “It’s called  _ character development  _ you uncultured swines-”

  
  


 

 

“I very much appreciate it,” Thor said. “You do have an excellent taste in crafting these movies.”

  
  


 

 

“Finally, someone who appreciates me!”

  
  


 

 

“But yes, they are quite unnecessary when we could’ve watched the Power Stone’s taking or something more important.”

  
  


 

 

“Screw you all.”

  
  


 

 

Clint shrugged. “I mean, I got a new ship out of it, so, it’s something.”

  
  


 

 

**“Stay. Stay with me…”**

  
  


 

 

**_Wanda broke eye contact to stare at something behind Vision._ **

  
  


 

 

**“Or not. If I’m overstepping…”** **_he said nervously, assuming that she didn’t approve._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Wanda stepped away from Vision and towards what she was staring at behind him, which turned out to be a newscast._ **

  
  


 

 

**_The news banner said,_ ** **“Breaking News: New York Attacked”** **_while images of Maw, the donut ship, and destruction played out._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Wanda gasped softly._ ** **“What are they?”** **_she said, with a small tremor in her voice._ **

  
  


 

 

**“What the Stone was warning me about. I have to go…”**

  
  


 

 

“Oh, so  _ now  _ he’s all about going…” Tony mumbled.

  
  


 

 

“You see, on Asgard, we call that loyalty. You should study Asgard culture. It would immensely help Midgard-”

  
  


 

 

Clint shuddered. “Keep it. I can’t imagine having to talk like you all the time…” he said, just shuddering at the thought.

  
  


 

 

Bruce didn’t even look surprised anymore. “So now the Stones have an S.O.S communication system?”

  
  


 

 

“Uh… yes?” Laurel said more as a question.

  
  


 

 

Steve simply wrote it down. “I don’t even wanna know,” Bruce said tiredly.

  
  


 

 

**“No, Vision-”** **_Wanda started as Vision started to walk away._ ** **“Vision if that’s true… then maybe going isn’t the best idea.”**

  
  


 

 

**_Vision turned back to Wanda._ ** **“Wanda, I-”**

  
  


 

 

**_And Vision was stabbed cleanly through with the spear of Corvus Glaive._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We hit 100 bookmarks YAY


	21. I'vE fAllEN- aNd I caN'T gEt uP!! (Battle of Edinburgh p.1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I tried my darndest to listen to your guys' criticisms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7b7fBshO630&t=148s
> 
> This is the fight in case you didn't understand the parts in bold.

**_“No, Vision-” Wanda started as Vision started to walk away. “Vision if that’s true… then maybe going isn’t the best idea.”_ **

  
  


 

 

**_Vision turned back to Wanda. “Wanda, I-”_ **

  
  


 

 

**_And Vision was stabbed cleanly through with the spear of Corvus Glaive._ **

  
  
  


 

 

\---

  
  
  


 

 

 

 

Every mimicked Wanda’s gasp of horror, while Bruce jumped about 5 feet in the air.

  
  
  
  


 

 

**“VISION!”**

  
  
  
  


 

 

**_Vision screamed in pain as he morphed back into his true form._ **

  
  
  
  


 

 

“NO!” Tony, Bruce, and Thor gasped.

  
  


 

 

Steve put his hand over his mouth in shock. “I… I thought he was made of vibranium…” he whispered in disbelief, before frowning at his where his shield should  be, rubbing it uncomfortably.

  
  


 

 

Natasha shook her head slowly.

  
  


 

 

**_Corvus Glaive threw Vision off his spear, sending him tumbling onto the deserted road, before the camera changed to Wanda, who was reading her magic when Proxima Midnight dropped behind her._ **

  
  


 

 

“WANDA, BEHIND YOU!” Clint shrieked.

  
  


 

 

Laurel sighed. “Clint… you know she can’t hear you, right?”

  
  


 

 

Clint ignored her in favor of staring at the rapidly devolving situation on screen.

  
  


 

 

**_Wanda was sent through a window across the street as Vision watched, some glitches running through his system._ **

  
  


 

 

Tony had taken to pacing. “Jesus, first Peter now this… can I even-” he said, before finishing the sentence with a grimace. 

  
  


 

 

**_Corvus Glaive rolled Vision over, before carving the tip of his spear into the Mind Stone, all the while staring down with a sick, satisfied expression._ **

  
  


 

 

Clint stood up angrily, before being held back by Natasha. Grumbling he stood back down.

  
  


 

 

He then, somewhat therapeutically, mimed shooting Corvus Glaive with arrows- drawing the imaginary arrow from the fake quiver, aiming with unshaking hands, and calmly releasing. Over and over. With a stone cold expression.

  
  


 

 

**_Wanda reappeared in the window, sending two balls of red energy at both Proxima and Glaive, knocking them down, before waving her hands, red energy surrounding Vision before being roughly sent offscreen, and Wanda flying after him._ **

  
  


 

 

“BE GENTLE!” Tony said halfheartedly. “Be gentle with him…”

  
  


 

 

Steve looked at him in disbelief. “Tony, this is a war zone! There’s no room for being gentle!”

  
  


 

 

Tony looked up. “No, this is a city street! With civilians! We need to be careful-”

  
  


 

 

**_They landed at the base of a statue, with Wanda rolling to a stop, and just barely catching Vision before bringing him closer to her._ **

  
  


 

 

Bruce groaned. “I hate this….” he trailed off.

  
  


 

 

Thor balled his hands to his fists. “He’s asking for a round of Real Asgardian Justice.”

  
  


 

 

Tony stopped short. “So before wasn’t Asgardian Justice?”

  
  


 

 

Thor frowned. “Who do you think I am? If I gave you Real Asgardian Justice you wouldn’t be here to tell the tale, friend,” he said in a vaguely threatening tone.

  
  


 

 

**_Wanda dragged them both into a concealed alleyway._ **

  
  


 

 

**“The blade stopped me from phasing,”** **_Vision gasped._ **

  
  


 

 

**“Is that even possible?”** **_Wanda said concerned._ **

  
  


 

 

**“It isn’t supposed to be. My-”** **_he grimaced in pain._ ** **“My systems are failing,”** **_he garbled, his voice distorting_ ** **.**

  
  


 

 

_ They aren’t reaching their full potential,  _ Natasha realized.  _ Vision’s a robot, a simple virus could debilitate him- _

  
  


 

 

Natasha shook her head. No. She said she wouldn’t assess her teammates like a target. She promised herself-

  
  


 

 

Laurel sent her a gentle smile. “It’s okay- that analyzing is exactly what we need to win. It’ll help us cover our weaknesses and expose theirs. That’s priceless. Don’t stop yourself.”

  
  


 

 

Natasha’s face went into a ghost of a smile before contorting to a controlled rage.

  
  


 

 

She smiled like a predator. “You went in my head,” she said in a deadly voice.

  
  


 

 

Laurel, realizing her mistake, quickly paled and retreated away from Natasha, silently cursing herself. Natasha would shiv her in her sleep for that. Oh god. Mistakes. Mistakes were made.

  
  


 

 

**_Wanda frantically waved her hands in front of Vision’s stab wound, mending it together._ **

  
  


 

 

Bruce looked at the scene in a sense of horrified awe. Wanda’s powers- they were so powerful, she obviously was holding back for some reason. They could be  used for so many good things, to help so many people-

  
  


 

 

Or they could be used for destruction. 

  
  


 

 

Bruce thought for a bit. Perhaps both sides could be useful.

  
  


 

 

**“I’m starting to think… we should have stayed in bed,”** **_Vision said, before Glaive jumped down, and he shoved Wanda out of the way and was plucked out of the alley by Glaive._ **

  
  


 

 

Clint released one last fake arrow extra aggressively before sighing and taking a deep breath.

  
  


 

 

Tony gasped. “God Dammit- he’s too self-sacrificial for his own damn good-”

  
  


 

 

“Oh my, wonder where he got  _ that  _ from!” Steve said somewhat hysterically.

  
  


 

 

Laurel thought. “Well, all three of them actually. The portal, Thor against Destroyer, Bruce willingly going back to NY to fight the Abomination-” she said, listing it off while counting on her hands.

  
  


 

 

Natasha sent a deathly glare Laurel’s way before turning back. “Have any of you read anybody’s files?”

  
  


 

 

Thor stood proudly. “No, I do not judge anyone on their past!”

  
  


 

 

Tony went to make Thor sit back down. “Good philosophy, not exactly the right way to execute it, buddy.”

  
  


 

 

**“VIS!”** **_Wanda shouted, but Vision and Corvus Glaive were already gone, wrestling each other through multiple walls._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Proxima Midnight than landed next to Wanda, before swinging her spear at the pillar that Wanda was behind, nearly hitting her as she tried to come out from_ ** **_behind it._ **

  
  


 

 

The room tensed at the close call, but the screen didn’t leave them time for conversation.

  
  


 

 

**_Wanda made it out on the other side of the pillar, hands already with red energy balls ready to fire. As Proxima swung her spear, Wanda used her left hand to block her spear while using her right to punch._ **

  
  


 

 

Natasha decided to speak up. “She’s obviously holding back-”

  
  


 

 

Bruce nodded. “I was thinking the same thing.”

  
  


 

 

Clint gazed as critically as he could at the screen. “Why doesn’t she float Proxima in the air?”

  
  


 

 

Steve looked up. “Beats me, she could probably easily lift the whole street. But she wouldn’t.”

  
  


 

 

“She seems to be overly cautious of civilian casualties while Vision is barreling through walls,” Thor noted. “I wonder if something happened.” Laurel looked down at her lap.

  
  


 

 

Tony pondered. “It isn’t exactly Vision’s fault. He isn’t really in control of where he’s going right now, he’s getting manhandled,” he said, pointing at the screen to prove his point.

  
  


 

 

**_Vision was pinned up against a wall, being choked by Corvus Glaive. His voice slithered, growling out,_ ** **“Give up the Stone. And she lives,”** **_he said, as though it was the most obvious trade in the world._ **

  
  
  


 

 

**_Vision’s face morphed into anger._ **

  
  


 

 

“Never, EVER do you give a weakened opponent a valid reason to fight back,” Natasha said dryly.

  
  


 

 

Clint deadpanned, “It seems stupidity runs in the family,” not specifying if it was Glaive’s or Vision’s family.

  
  


 

 

**_Vision flew both of them across the street, ricocheting them into a church spire before landing (read: crashing unceremoniously) on the church roof._ **

  
  


 

 

**_The camera changed once again to the magic-spear duel between Wanda and Proxima Midnight, now by train tracks. Nobody was getting the upper hand until Proxima sent a blast from her spear, sending Wanda flying across the street, roughly rolling to a stop._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Proxima then leaped on top of her for a fatal blow, with Wanda’s magic just savi_ **

 

 

 

“C’mon Wanda…” Clint said, gritting his teeth. “I know you can do better than that…”

  
  


 

 

**_The scene changed to Vision on the roof, now winning as he punched Glaive into another wall, before he threw Glaive across the roof and attempting to hit him with a laser beam, which was refracted into four by Glaive’s spear._ **

  
  


 

 

Steve stared open mouthed at the spectacle before him. How does- how does one even log it down? So much was happening- he really wished he was back somewhere familiar- even that damn helicarrier.

  
  


 

 

**_The beam reflected into and destroyed a truck next to where Wanda and Proxima were once again duking it out, and Glaive reflected Vision’s beam back into him, sending him flying back._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Wanda caught Proxima’s spears, but was distracted by Vision’s scream echoing on the roof._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Face contorting to anger, she ducked backwards as she sent Proxima flying over her head, backwards into the flaming remains of the truck, and flying towards the church roof._ **

  
  


 

 

Thor took a step back. “Is this a common trait with all you humans? You do not want to protect yourself but when those you care about are in danger, you become more motivated?”

  
  


 

 

Tony gazed at him with a long look, while Bruce chuckled. “No, but it seems to be a trait we all share. Do you guys on Asgard not have that trait?”

  
  


 

 

Thor frowned. “No, of course we care for others. I’m slightly offended. We just usually have self-defense skills along with it.”

  
  
  


 

 

**_Glaive was once again trying to pry the Stone out of Vision before he around angrily to see Wanda charging her attack, which she let go._ **

  
  


 

 

**“Hands off.”**

  
  


 

 

Tony whistled, impressed. “Never mind, I approve of Wanda. She’s fine.”

  
  


 

 

Laurel sent him a look. “I have a feeling that they would’ve dated whether you approved or not.”

  
  


 

 

**_Vision was grabbing his stab wound as Wanda supported him and flew away._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Proxima aimed her spear and sent a blast at the flying couple, causing them to fly like ragdolls through the air._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Vision pulled Wanda to his chest so that he would take the brunt of the damage._ **

  
  


 

 

Laurel put her hand to her chest proudly. “He’s too good for this world!”

  
  


 

 

Bruce smiled, happy that he was a part in making such a great creation. But at least he kept it subtle. 

  
  


 

 

Tony was acting like Laurel had called him the best inventor in the world.

  
  


 

 

**_They crashed through the glass ceiling of a train station, sliding to a stop, or in Vision’s case, hitting the railing at high speed._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Wanda rushed to Vision’s side, trying to help him up, her efforts in vain._ **

  
  


 

 

**“Come on come on comeon, you gotta get up, you gotta get up- Come on! Hey, hey- we have to go-”**

  
  


 

 

**_Vision let go of his body weight, leaning against the railing before shaking his head, demoralized._ **

  
  


 

 

“Vision, no, friend- you have to keep fighting!” Thor said angrily. “Keep fighting!”

  
  


 

 

“He can’t hear you,” Laurel said with more melancholy than last time.

  
  


 

 

**“Please. Please leave-”** **_he said, cupping her face with his shaking hands._ **

  
  


 

 

**“You asked me to stay… I’m staying.”**

  
  


 

 

Clint smiled softly. “Damn young couples. Always gotta get sappy.”

  
  


 

 

Natasha bit back another smile. “You would do the same thing if you were in that situation, too, you know. Don’t try and deny it.”

  
  


 

 

“Watch me try anyway. I wouldn’t.”

  
  


 

 

**_Proxima came crashing through the window with a deathly glare, with Glaive just behind her._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Wanda left Vision’s side to face them, getting two balls of energy ready, a train passing behind her._ **

  
  


 

 

Steve bit back his breath. “This isn’t gonna end well,” he whispered to himself.

  
  


 

 

**_Proxima shifted her look to the train, causing Wanda to follow her look._ **

  
  
  


 

 

**_As the train fully passed the station, there was but the silhouette of one Captain Steve Rogers._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE HIT 500 KUDOS!
> 
> AND 38000 WORDS!
> 
> AND 20 CHAPTERS!!
> 
> and we're only like 1/5 of the way through the movie I wasn't expecting it to take this long *nervous chuckling*


	22. Oh Captain, My Captain (Battle of Edinburgh p.2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to School
> 
> haha *mental breakdown*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://marvelcinematicuniverse.fandom.com/wiki/List_of_Firearms
> 
> I SEARCHED THIS ENTIRE PAGE TO FIND OUT WHAT FALCON'S GUNS WERE

**_Wanda left Vision’s side to face them, getting two balls of energy ready, a train passing behind her._ **

  
  


 

 

_ Steve bit back his breath. “This isn’t gonna end well,” he whispered to himself. _

  
  


 

 

**_Proxima shifted her look to the train, causing Wanda to follow her look._ **

  
  
  


 

 

**_As the train fully passed the station, there was but the silhouette of one Captain Steve Rogers._ **

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

\---

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Clint clapped frantically and whooped majestically.

  
  
  


 

 

“YEAH! WOOOOOOOOOO-”

  
  
  


 

 

Steve stared up at his hulking silhouette in appreciation, while Tony made his ‘appreciation’ much more vocal.

  
  
  


 

 

“OH,  _ DAMN! _ ” he said, leaning back into his seat. Nat stared at the screen with a smirk. Steve was such a drama queen. He would totally be a theater kid if he weren’t from the  1940s.

  
  
  


 

 

Thor smiled. “It’s nice to know that you are not dead, Captain.”

  
  
  


 

 

Steve’s face dropped into confusion. “Uh, thanks? I- um, thanks for appreciating my survival effort?”

  
  


 

 

**_Proxima’s face contorted into rage, as she threw her spear directly at Steve’s chest._ **

  
  


 

 

**_He turned, still cloaked in darkness, and caught it one-handed._ **

  
  
  


 

 

Natasha shook her head. “Damnit Rogers, where was that during the battle?” she said, chuckling a bit.

  
  


 

 

Steve threw up his hands. “I don’t know! Experience?”

  
  
  


 

 

“I have abnormally good reflexes too!” Clint said.

  
  
  


 

 

“I know,” Nat said, “but  _ Steve- _ ”

  
  
  


 

 

“I could do that too, probably.”

  
  
  


 

 

“ _ Sure. _ ”

  
  
  


 

 

**_Proxima stepped back, a small hint of admiration on her face._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Steve stepped forward determinedly, staring ahead at the threat with a dark with-_ **

  
  
  


 

 

Now Nat was admiring *coughcoughCHECKINGOUTcoughcough* Steve too, pursing her lips and tilting slightly, her face not revealing anything about how she felt.

  
  


 

 

“Is- is that a BEARD?” Bruce sputtered.

  
  


 

 

“Didn’t know you had it in you to grow a whisker,  _ Mr. America _ ,” Tony said, staring at the screen in awe.

  
  


 

 

Clint was stuck in a loop, staring at the serious expression on the screen and the baby-face, clean shaven Steve checking out his own reflection.

  
  


 

 

Steve smiled to himself. “I don’t look that bad.”

  
  


 

 

Tony smirked. “Oh Captain my Captain, what would your Ma think?”

  
  


 

 

Steve was about to go into a lecture, before Bruce cut in.

  
  


 

 

“Okay, I get by now that many things are ‘not scientifically possible’ but come  _ on!”  _

  
  


 

 

Laurel stared at him like he grew another head. “What do you mean?”

  
  


 

 

“Okay, so he was in ice for 70 years, and he was alive, but he comes out clean-shaven? Like, what the hell?”

  
  


 

 

“Um, I second that?” Clint said.

  
  


 

 

**_*Avengers Theme GO!*_ **

  
  


 

 

**_The camera zoomed in on Vision and Wanda’s face their relief very apparent._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Proxima glared daggers into Steve, before she turned abruptly and flinched. For a good reason._ **

  
  


 

 

**_A man with mechanical wings dropkicked Proxima into a window._ **

  
  


 

 

“...”

  
  


 

 

“Please tell me those aren’t real wings. It’s tech. Tell me it is tech,” Bruce said, sounding like he was two seconds from losing a chunk of his sanity.

  
  


 

 

“No, that’s definitely metal,” Steve noted.

  
  
  


 

 

**_While Proxima crashed through the glass and across diner chairs, Sam had already moved on to Corvus Glaive. He tapped a screen on his forearm, which sent homing_ ** **_missiles straight toward Glaive, who parried them with his spear._ **

  
  


 

 

Clint frowned slightly. “He has a really close tech set to you, Stark.”

  
  


 

 

Thor smiled. “The more the merrier, I believe!”

  
  


 

 

Tony tilted his head. “No, he’s not like me. He has a lighter weaponload- what’s his name?”

  
  


 

 

Laurel smiled. “Sam Wilson. The Falcon. Unwilling Cinnamon Bun. Any names work.”

  
  


 

 

Tony leveled her with a look before continuing. “Anyways, my guess is that he’s meant to be more agile- more tactical, while Iron Man, a literal suit of armor, is more of a tank.”

  
  


 

 

Nat nodded approvingly out of Tony’s sight.

  
  


 

 

Bruce furrowed his eyebrows. “Besides, don’t you already have another Iron Man out there? Sorry, it’s just that I couldn’t get much news out on the run-”

  
  


 

 

“You mean Rhodey? War Machine?”

  
  


 

 

“Yeah.”

  
  


 

 

“Honestly, I should probably give him an upgrade. He’s still with the Mark II, but he kinda deserves it for stealing it in the first place.”

  
  


 

 

Nat shook her head. “You totally let Rhodes take it.”

  
  


 

 

“Such accusations. Can’t prove it though,” Tony said with an obvious wink.

  
  


 

 

**_Steve threw the spear as hard as possible as he could to a running figure, who swiftly caught it and sliced Glaive’s leg before whipping around and stabbing him in the_ ** **_abdomen._ **

  
  


 

 

**_It was Nat, with blond hair._ **

  
  


 

 

Clint immediately  burst into laughter.

  
  


 

 

“Nat- that hairstyle-”

  
  


 

 

Tony laughed along while Thor let out a few hearty chuckles.

  
  


 

 

Bruce looked at them like they were crazy. He was the only one who apparently didn’t have a death wish.

  
  


 

 

Nat carefully pretended to laugh along while sliding a hand across Clint’s shoulder.

  
  


 

 

She then suddenly tightened it into a chokehold.

  
  


 

 

“Clint, no matter what Laurel said about weapons not being allowed in here, that doesn’t mean that I can’t fashion a deadly weapon out of my shoe sole using only my fingernails. Watch it.” 

  
  


 

 

“Um, I was gonna say it looked good on you?” Clint half-asked, half-choked out.

  
  


 

 

Nat  _ hmphed _ and tightened her grip for a second before she let go, before making a gesture that successfully communicated the sincerity of her threat.

  
  


 

 

**_As Corvus screamed in pain, Natasha flipped over his spear, before using it as leverage to place a well-aimed kick straight to his sternum, knocking him backwards._ **

  
  


 

 

**_The spear was torn out of Natasha’s hands and was summoned to Proxima, who was back in the fight, lunging toward Nat, who was taken off-guard._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Steve somersaulted while simultaneously picking up Glaive’s fallen spear, and blocking Proxima’s jab at Nat, before forcing both of the blades up and kickstarting a duel_ ** **_between the two Rouges and Proxima._ **

  
  


 

 

Thor looked happy. “You two are quite the team! Is this the right time for the word-”

  
  


 

 

Laurel screeched before tumbling over to Thor. “NO! DON’T SAY IT!”

  
  


 

 

Thor frowned. “Say that-”

  
  


 

 

“NAT WILL KILL YOU!”

  
  


 

 

“For saying Steve and Nat are an OTP? I thought-”

  
  


 

 

Steve observed in horror. “Thor!”

  
  


 

 

Nat quietly whispered, “Sleep with one eye open tonight.”

  
  


 

 

Thor was getting exasperated. “I thought you ‘shipped’ someone if the two were compatible! They were compatible while fighting!”

  
  


 

 

Clint slowly rubbed circles into his forehead. “Technically yes, but also that’s not it at  _ all. _ ”

  
  


 

 

**_As the pair continued to fight Proxima, Falcon came in for one last kick, sending her flying to where Glaive had fallen. Once they were both down, Falcon pulled out two semi automatic handguns and pointed them at the two._ **

  
  


 

 

Tony whistled. “Those are some high-class weapons.”

  
  


 

 

“For you they’re high class,” said Thor.

  
  


 

 

“They’re Steyr SPPs. Fully automatic. They’re a big punch in a small package. Seems just his style.”

  
  


 

 

Steve’s lips tilted upward. “How do you know so much about weaponry?”

  
  


 

 

Tony’s smile was wiped off his face.

  
  


 

 

“He used to make them,” Nat said.

  
  


 

 

“Used to. Emphasis on  _ used to _ .”

  
  


 

 

**“Get up,”** **_Proxima urged her fallen comrade._ **

  
  


 

 

**“I can’t,”** **_Glaive rasped._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Nat tilted her head._ ** **“We don’t want to kill you, but we will.”**

  
  


 

 

“There is the deadly Natasha I know and love!” Clint said. “Wait. Are you seriously wearing makeup in that shot? Come on-”

  
  


 

 

“If I felt like killing you, there would be no witnesses, you know that right? Because I’m not sure how fully aware you are of that.”

  
  


 

 

“Yeah, okay.”

  
  


 

 

**“You’ll never get the chance again,”** **_Proxima growled, before being sent up with Glaive in a beam of blue light, with the spear being ripped out of the Captain’s hands on_ ** **_their way up._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Sam saw Vision’s state._ ** **“Can you stand?”**

  
  


 

 

**“Thank you Captain,”** **_Vision said, voice distorted._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Steve nodded._ ** **“Let’s get you on the Jet.”**

  
  


 

 

“Wow, Vision! Just gonna ignore Sam like that!”

  
  


 

 

“I thought you said,” Thor stumbled across his words. “What did you say? That Vision was a- a puff pastry?”

  
  


 

 

“A cinnamon bun.”

  
  


 

 

“Ah, yes.”

  
  


 

 

Laurel winked. “He’s still very sassy. He’s part J.A.R.V.I.S, you know.”

  
  


 

 

Tony shivered. “I still don’t want to think about that.”

  
  


 

 

**_The screen cut to the inside of the Quinjet._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Nat cut in._ ** **“I thought we had a deal. Stay close, check in. Don’t take any chances.”**

  
  


 

 

**_Wanda lowered her head, a bit ashamed._ ** **“I’m sorry. We just wanted time.”**

  
  


 

 

**“Where to, Cap?”** **_Sam asked._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Steve looked up, a bit nostalgic._ **

  
  


 

 

**“Home.”**

  
  


 

 

“Wow Rogers, could you be  _ any  _ more vague?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *g note*
> 
>  
> 
> basically summarizes my feelings right now


	23. Don't Think About What-Ifs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today on the menu we have:
> 
>  
> 
> angst with a side of minor panic attacks cooked up by a flashback with an assist from Thanos and his gang the Chitauri.
> 
>  
> 
> Ba blam have fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on the length of my script, we are about 3 scenes from halfway through the movie!
> 
> HOW
> 
> CRAZY
> 
> IS 
> 
> THAT!?!?

****

**_“Where to, Cap?” Sam asked._ **

 

 

  
  


**_Steve looked up, a bit nostalgic._ **

  
  


 

 

**_“Home.”_ **

  
  


 

 

_ “Wow Rogers, could you be any more vague?” _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 

\---

  
  
  
  
  


 

 

“Excuse me?” Steve said, turning around and pointing at Tony. “My future self didn’t ask for your opinion.”

  
  
  


 

 

“Nobody did,” Thor admitted.

  
  
  


 

 

“My internal self demanded it,” Tony said. “That’s someone.”

  
  
  


 

 

“Where even is home anyway? I was kind of assuming that I would be going back into hiding,” Bruce said quietly.

  
  
  


 

 

Tony made a  _ pssh  _ sound. “You’re too good for that. I’ve got it covered.”

  
  
  


 

 

Bruce smiled gratefully. “Thanks.”

  
  


 

 

**_The screen cut to black, before the sound of screaming filled the screen, slightly muffled, with one large and one small figure hugging in the dark._ **

  
  


 

 

**“Shhh. We’ll be safe; we’ll be safe,” The large figure said in a female, soothing voice.**

  
  


 

 

Bruce’s smile vanished. “No…”

  
  
  


 

 

Thor stood up. “Where is this? What is this?” he demanded.

  
  
  


 

 

**_The camera looked through the door, where a single figure stood still amongst running figures._ **

  
  
  


 

 

**_The still figure started firing its gun at the people running for their lives._ **

  
  
  


 

 

“It’s a massacre,” Steve breathed. “Is this- a flashback? Is this World War II?”

  
  


 

 

Tony shrugged, in a bit of a shock. “I-I don’t know. It could be Sokovia- I mean, they’ve had a brutal civil war happening for over a decade.”

  
  


 

 

“No. That’s not it. This isn’t the right type of warfare,” Nat said.

  
  


 

 

Clint nodded. “Their style is bombing and riots, not- open gunfire. On civilians, too- oh my god-”

  
  


 

 

**_The camera switched back to the pair, revealing a green-skinned mother and daughter as the sound of a missile exploded behind them, causing the girl screamed on reflex, as the stricken mother covered her mouth._ **

  
  
  


 

 

Thor pointed at the screen. “Can we prevent this?” he asked simply.

  
  
  


 

 

“No,” Laurel said sadly.

  
  
  


 

 

“You’re right, they can’t go to space. Maybe Bruce. Let me rephrase that; can  _ I  _ prevent this?”

  
  


 

 

“No, it happened in the past, like 20 years ago!”

  
  


 

 

Bruce nodded. “Is that Gamora?”

  
  


 

 

 

Laurel nodded stiffly. “It’s the worst day of her life.”

  
  


 

 

 

The air grew tense, as the Avengers started to truly feel that they were invading the privacy of those they didn’t even know.

  
  


 

 

 

**_The figure approached the door, as Gamora’s mother covered Gamora’s mouth as they looked on in fear._ **

  
  


 

 

**_The door burst open, but quickly switched before the figure was discernible._ **

  
  


 

 

**_The screen changed to a Leviathan taking fire from alien guns, but not being affected in the slightest._ **

  
  


 

 

Tony’s face paled to near whiteness, while the rest tensed and made undignified yelps.

  
  


 

 

Bruce turned a bit green out of the corner of Laurel’s eyes.

  
  


 

 

“Chitauri,” Thor said chillingly. “That’s what happened to the Zenwhoberians. Chitauri.”

  
  
  


 

 

**_Ring ships were seen dotting the landscape as more Leviathans emerged and Zenwhoberians fell._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Ebony’s crooning voice was heard in the background. “Zenwhoberians…”_ **

  
  


 

 

**_Gamora was dragged through a crowd by the arm, all the while screaming,_ ** **“Mother! Where’s my mother!”**

  
  
  


 

 

**“Choose a side. Or die,”** **_Maw finished._ **

  
  
  


 

 

“What  _ is  _ this?” Steve said. “Choose a side?”

  
  


 

 

“Is that how- is that how they chose?” Bruce said horrified.

  
  


 

 

“Chose what?” Clint said obliviously.

  
  


 

 

Nat said, a bit shook, “Chose who died.”

  
  


 

 

**_Gamora punched at the arm of the Chitauri, who turned and wrenched his hand away from her, as if dropping her off._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Maw’s voice droned on, continuing the lecture like he had said it a million times._ ** **“One side is a revelation. The other, an honor known only to few.”**

  
  


 

 

**_She turned, to be met with Thanos, who was staring down at her with an amused expression._ **

  
  


 

 

Clint’s face flashed with anger. “This was the worst day of her life? The day Thanos came?”

  
  


 

 

Bruce whispered into his palm, “Oh my god, that almost happened to us today.”

  
  


 

 

Tony’s hands shook slightly, so he shoved them in his pockets. “It’s okay,” he said, both to himself and the others. “We stopped them. We blew up the ship. They’re dead. We nuked them.”

  
  


 

 

Thor burst. “No! There is obviously  _ way  _ more than what they attacked us with! And I was just partying and being upset at a messed up dinner when they were massacring planets! I could’ve done something!”

  
  


 

 

Clint stood up. “Thor, hey man, it’s not your fault-”

  
  


 

 

“No! No, you know what, why didn’t Odin tell me anything? Did he really not care? Why, I mean, he can see everything, why didn’t  _ Heimdall  _ tell me-” he said before cutting himself off with a choked sound.

  
  


 

 

While Clint, with the help of Steve, tried to get a sputtering Thor to sit down, Tony and Bruce looked at the situation like they wouldn’t want to touch it with a 10 foot pole.

  
  


 

 

**“What’s wrong, little one,”** **_Thanos said in a whisper._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Gamora stared at him._ ** **“My mother. I can’t find my mother.”**

  
  


 

 

**_Thanos bent down to her level, staring into Gamora’s unflinching stare._ **

  
  


 

 

**_He smiled gently._ ** **“What’s your name.”**

  
  


 

 

**“Gamora.”**

  
  


 

 

Tony looked away in disgust. The fact that Thanos actually looked- had looked like he  _ cared.  _ He shuddered at the thought of how similar Thanos was to Obie.  _ Obie had looked  _ _ like he cared…. _

  
  


 

 

Nat noticed Tony shiver slightly at Thanos’s affectionate tone, and quickly put together that it was about the late Obidiah Stane. Although it was never publicized, and Obidiah’s death was drowned by news of Iron Man’s reveal, it didn’t take a genius to figure out what happened.

  
  


 

 

**“You’re quite the fighter, Gamora. Come. Let me help you.”** **_He put out his hand like an offer, but despite his gentle tone it sounded like an order._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Gamora’s stare broke as she looked down at Thanos’s extended hand, before wrapping her tiny hand around his pointer finger._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Thanos stood up, and the two walked side-by-side towards a pavilion, with screaming still muffled in the background._ **

  
  


 

 

“She- she went  _ willingly?! _ ” Bruce screeched. “What!?”

  
  


 

 

“Give her a break, she’s only a kid, who didn’t know any better!” Steve defended. “She’s innocent in all this!”

  
  


 

 

Laurel shook her head sadly. “This- situation, Thanos used it as gaslighting material for years. By saying that  _ she  _ made the choice to join him, that it was  _ her  _ idea to become  one of his ‘Black Order’.”

  
  


 

 

“That is so wrong,” Tony said.

  
  


 

 

Thor sighed. “How many are in the Black Order.”

  
  


 

 

“By the time this happens, four. Right now, six.”

  
  


 

 

Thor nodded. “I guess I will take care of them when we get back. They are my job.”

  
  


 

 

Nat agreed. “Yes, as you are the only one that can go to space that we can communicate with. We can discuss the rest later.”

  
  


 

 

Laurel’s thoughts strayed to Captain Marvel for a second.  _ They’ll meet her later _ , she thought.

  
  


 

 

**_After they entered the pavilion, Thanos again got on one knee as Gamora looked around, not noticing the Zenwhoberians in two groups behind her as Thanos caught her_ ** **_attention by pulling something out of his pocket._ **

 

 

 

 

**_It was a small, double-sided dagger that was encrusted with a large ruby._ **

  
  


 

 

**_It was beautiful._ **

  
  


 

 

**“Look. Pretty, isn’t it.”** **_He held it out, balancing it on his pointer finger_ ** .  **“Perfectly balanced, as all things should be. Too much to one side, or the other…”** **_he said, overbalancing it on purpose, before twirling and catching it and handing it to Gamora._ ** **“Here. You try.”**

  
  


 

 

“That makes no sense. The universe is what it is. It’s already balanced. Nothing needs to be fixed,” Clint argued at the screen.

  
  


 

 

“I know! I really wish I could go back and change his mind, but it’s too late now. He’s already this way and we need to stop him and his smarmy attitude,” Steve said with heat in his tone and eyes.

  
  


 

 

**_The dagger that seemed small to Thanos dwarfed Gamora’s hand as she tried to balance it._ **

  
  


 

 

**“Go in peace, and meet your Maker.”**

  
  


 

 

**_The line of guards on the left fired, cutting down the crowd as those on the right screamed in grief for their loved ones._ **

  
  


 

 

“That would’ve happened to Earth. That  _ would’ve happened _ -” Bruce said, on the brink of a panic attack.

  
  


 

 

Tony distracted himself from his thoughts by worrying himself with Bruce. “No-that’s not true-”

  
  


 

 

“He would’ve killed  _ everyone _ -”

  
  


 

 

“No! He would’ve only killed half.”

  
  


 

 

That, apparently, was the wrong thing to say, as Bruce immediately started hyperventilating.

  
  


 

 

“Bruce! Shit-”

  
  


 

 

**_Gamora went to look to where the screams were, before Thanos’s hand cupped her face and turned her head back to the blade._ **

  
  


 

 

**“Concentrate.”**

  
  


 

 

**_Gamora succeeded with balancing it as the chaos continued in the background._ ** **“There! You’ve got it,”** **_Thanos congratulated._ **

  
  


 

 

Clint shook his head with disgust. What unsettled him about this was that Thanos would’ve actually been a good father if he didn’t go around murdering people. What he just  said- it sounded like something Clint would’ve said to Cooper when he was teaching him how to read. And it unsettled him  more than words can express.

  
  


 

 

As Bruce made one last heavy breath in time with Tony.

  
  


 

 

**_The screen cut to the future Guardian’s ship._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna be uploading on Sundays, that is my official upload schedule, saying it now. It is my only completely free day to sit and write, so that's what it's gonna be. Also, I might update any random day I want if inspiration strikes, but that just means you'll get that and another chapter on Sunday.
> 
>  
> 
> Also, GO BILLS! That game was crazy and as a football fan it made me very unhappy and yet giddy at the same time  
> -love an upstate New Yorker


	24. *exasperated sound* I'm SURROUNDED by IDIOTS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve has a bit of a rude awakening, and I have a bit of a slight mental breakdown
> 
>  
> 
> All in a days work *claps hands*
> 
>  
> 
> Now who's ready for 2 more scenes worth of Guardians angst

_ Bruce made one last heavy breath in time with Tony. _

  
  


**_The screen cut to the future Guardian’s ship._ **

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


\---

  
  
  
  
  


Clint rubbed his own chest in a soothing manner. “I can’t believe- how does Gamora even keep going?”

  
  


 

 

Steve sighed. “She’s tough. Anyone can tell that from a mile away.”

  
  


 

 

Thor huffed, trying to release some steam. “She certainly is worthy of being an Avenger.”

  
  


 

 

**_The screen cut with a loud click that was made Gamora’s hand squeezing the ornate dagger from the last scene, activating the two blades while staring into the distance, lost in her thoughts._ **

  
  


 

 

**_The troubled peace of the scene was broken by Quill’s voice cutting through._ **

  
  


 

 

**“Gamora, do you know if these grenades are the ‘blow off your junk kind’ or the gas kind?”** **_he said, as Gamora pointedly ignored him._ **

  
  


 

 

Laurel shook her head. “Damnit, Quill,” she said, shaking her head fondly, as if him ruining the mood was a normal thing, which it kind of was.

  
  


 

 

Tony leaned back. “You know what? She is tough. Because I certainly couldn’t deal with that even for an hour, let alone for however many years she had to deal with  this guy.”

  
  


 

 

Laurel snickered. 

  
  


 

 

Steve looked a bit unimpressed. “He’s gearing up for a fight with Thanos, and he’s using  _ bombs _ ? That’s a terrible strategy.”

  
  


 

 

Nat sighed. “Seems to be a chronic problem in the future.”

  
  


 

 

“Is it not a problem now?” Clint said introspectively.

  
  


 

 

“Yes, but we had days to prepare. Now, we have years,” Bruce said.

  
  


 

 

**“‘Cause I was thinking of hanging a couple on my belt right here- but I don’t want to-”** **_Quill continued, obviously not reading the room._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Gamora interrupted his charade._ ** **“I need to ask you a favor.”**

  
  


 

 

**“Yeah, sure,”** **_Quill said nonchalantly._ **

  
  


 

 

**“One way or another, the path we’re on leads to Thanos,”** **_Gamora said in a soft voice._ **

  
  


 

 

**“Which is what the grenades are for,”** **_he said, acting as if that solved all of their problems._ **

  
  


 

 

Thor pursed his lips. “He underestimates Thanos.”

  
  


 

 

“Severely,” Tony added.

  
  


 

 

Bruce scoffed. “ _ That  _ is an understatement. That guy just waved Hulk aside like he was a fly. He was having  _ fun _ ,” he said with a bit of venom, obviously still somewhat annoyed, before sighing and getting his emotions in check.

  
  


 

 

Clint paled slightly. “And all I have are just some arrows.”

  
  


 

 

Steve frowned. “Hey, none of that. You are our long-distance guy, with any luck you won’t ever be going face-to-face with him.”

  
  


 

 

“In case you forgot, he has the Tessa- blue Infinity-whatever- that kind of gets rid of the concept of distance?!”

  
  


 

 

**_Gamora leveled him with an unimpressed look before Quill stumbled out an apology._ **

  
  


 

 

**“Uh, I’m sorry. What’s the- what’s the favor?”**

  
  


 

 

**_Gamora turned back to staring out into space, before speaking._ **

  
  


 

 

**“If something goes wrong… If Thanos** **_gets_ ** **me…”** **_she said, before swallowing and turning to face Quill._ ** **“I want you to promise me… you’ll kill me.”**

  
  


 

 

“WHAT?!” Steve said, outraged. “She can’t just… give up! We don’t trade lives-”

  
  


 

 

Laurel turned away to hide her face. How was he going to deal with seeing Vision? And everyone else?

  
  


 

 

Nat looked on at Steve’s horror with slight disappointment. Although Steve had seen the horrors of war firsthand, had fought he somehow still believed that everyone and everything could be saved, that every situation has its perfect answer. 

  
  


 

 

If this future is as terrible as Laurel says it is, Steve won’t know what’s coming. And Nat had a feeling that Laurel was underplaying the severity of the situation.

  
  


 

 

**“What?”** **_Quill said, taking a double-take._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Gamora sighed._ ** **“I know something he doesn’t. If he finds out, the entire universe could be at stake.”**

  
  


 

 

**“What do you know?”**

  
  


 

 

**“If I tell you, you’d know too.”**

  
  


 

 

**“If it’s so important, shouldn’t I?”** **_Quill tried to reason._ **

  
  


 

 

“What is she  _ hiding _ ?” Tony said. “There’s so many secrets floating around in the future, how does anybody trust each other?”

  
  


 

 

Steve shook his head. “I honestly don’t know. But no secret can be worth dying for.”

  
  
  


 

 

“Why can’t Gamora tell Quill?” Thor said. “They can share the burden of this secret.”

  
  
  


 

 

Laurel shook her head. “Thor, that can’t happen.”

  
  
  


 

 

“Why not?”

 

 

 

Clint grimaced. “If her body language and her request tell us anything, it’s that the burden of this secret  _ is _ death.”

  
  
  


 

 

Steve’s face soured.

  
  


 

 

**“Only if you want to die,”** **_Gamora said, confirming Clint’s suspicion._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Quill spoke quietly and slowly, as if trying to convince someone._ ** **“Why does somebody always have to die in this scenario?”**

  
  


 

 

**“Just…”** **_Gamora said, inhaling sharply,_ ** **“Trust me. And possibly kill me.”**

  
  


 

 

Steve looked down, slight denial entering his voice. “How could anyone ask someone to do that…”

  
  


 

 

“Wouldn’t you do the same?” Laurel said.

  
  


 

 

“W-what? Of course not?”

  
  


 

 

“If you lived in a literal  _ hell.  _ Just imagine it. You lived through it once- there’s no way anyone could pay you to live through it again,” Laurel said in a wistful voice  that made it clear that she wasn’t just talking about Gamora.

  
  


 

 

**_Quill lightened the tone in his voice, trying to insert some humor._ ** **“I mean I’d like to, I really would-”**

  
  


 

 

**_Gamora put his hand over his mouth to stop his talking, before speaking in a serious tone._ ** **“Swear to me. Swear to me on your mother.”**

  
  


 

 

**_Quill looked down on her, eyes suddenly serious._ **

  
  


 

 

Clint looked down, thinking. “What’s happened to this guy?”

  
  


 

 

Nat looked at him, shaking her head slightly. “Everyone’s gone through something.”

  
  


 

 

**“Okay,”** **_he finally conceded, and the pair kissed._ **

  
  


 

 

“Wait, they’re a  _ couple?”  _ Tony said incredulously.  _ “How??”  _ he said, not be able to fathom the idea of being in a relationship with Quill.

  
  


 

 

Clint smirked.  _ Had Tony even seen himself before?  _

  
  


 

 

**_As the two were making out, there was a crunching sound, and the pair separated as it was revealed that someone else was standing, watching them._ **

  
  


 

 

“What the hell? Do they have no privacy?” Clint shuddered.

  
  


 

 

Tony pointed a finger accusingly. “If I do let you guys stay at the Tower-Compound whatever, you better not be like that.”

  
  


 

 

“Are you going to stay with us at the Tower?” Bruce asked excitedly.

  
  


 

 

Tony scoffed. “Hell no. You guys can have the Tower. Roam free I don’t care, but I get Malibu. Can’t change that.”

  
  


 

 

Laurel mumbled, “But a missle can.”

  
  


 

 

“Huh?”

  
  


 

 

“What?” Laurel said innocently.

  
  


 

 

**_The camera angle changed to reveal Drax watching Gamora and Quill, while munching on a bag of snacks._ **

  
  


 

 

**“Oh,”** **_Gamora said, in a bit of an ashamed voice._ **

  
  


 

 

**“Dude!”** **_Quill said accusingly._ ** **“How long have been standing there?”**

  
  


 

 

**“An hour.”**

  
  


 

 

**“An HOUR?!”** **_Quill said loudly._ ** **“Are you serious?”**

  
  


 

 

Nat pursed her lips. “Just so you are aware, my privacy is more important to me than your lives,” she said, as if they needed to be reminded. Maybe Tony did, but…

  
  


 

 

**“I’ve mastered the ability of standing so incredibly still… that I become invisible to the eye… watch,”** **_he said, before slowly lifting a Zarg nut to his mouth at a_ ** **_snail’s pace._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Quill just started dumbly while Gamora shook her head slowly._ **

  
  
  


 

 

“We’re going to be teammates with this guy,” Tony said, before making an ambivalent noise of disgust.

  
  


 

 

Nat stared at the screen. How. Could. Anyone. Be. So. Stupid.

  
  


 

 

Thor looked unimpressed. “Even Asgardian children know that they are not invisible.”

  
  


 

 

Clint raised an eyebrow. “He looks like the definition of the saying ‘I’m surrounded by idiots’.”

  
  


 

 

Tony started chuckling. “He’s an idiot surrounded by idiots.”

  
  


 

 

“Hey, stop hating on the Guardians! They’re not that bad, they’re good in battle.”

  
  


 

 

**“You’re eating a Zarg nut.”**

  
  


 

 

**“But my movement… was so slow… that’s it’s imperceptible,”** **_he said, while bringing another one to his mouth._ **

  
  


 

 

**“Mmm, no.”**

  
  


 

 

**“I'm sure I’m invisible.”**

  
  
  


 

 

**_Mantis walked in the room._ ** **“hI dRaX!”**

  
  


 

 

**_Drax stared at Mantis, before crunching his snack bag in his hand and stalking away with a quick_ ** **“Damnit!”**

  
  


 

 

“What the fucking fuck was that?” Clint asked experatedly. “I can’t believe they have two movies and I have  _ nothing _ -”

  
  


 

 

“Oh, you don’t have a movie, but guess what you do have,” Laurel said with a grin.

  
  


 

 

“In my dreams, at least one goddamn scene!”

  
  


 

 

“You have a TV show. Jesus.”

  
  


 

 

“Wait what, oh my god, finally YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS-”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GO BILLS
> 
> but there's almost no way we're beating the pats but WE CAN DREAM
> 
>  
> 
> Anyways I didn't like this chapter as much, it didn't seem right to me and idk why


	25. Sleeeeeeeep *LOUD BANG*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit's all going downhill in my whole life, and the fall includes some detours at
> 
>  
> 
> -my ex is trying to get back together again (whoop-de-fucking-doo as IF)
> 
> and
> 
> \- a possibly undiagnosed anxiety disorder
> 
>  
> 
> but the Bills are 3-0 I guess?

_ In the last chapter: _

  
  


 

**_Mantis walked in the room. “hI dRAx!”_ **

  
  


 

**_Drax stared at Mantis, before crunching his snack bag in his hand and stalking away with a quick “Damnit!”_ **

  
  


 

 

_ “What the fucking fuck was that?” Clint asked exasperatedly. “I can’t believe they have two movies and I have nothing-” _

  
  


 

 

_ “Oh, you don’t have a movie, but guess what you do have,” Laurel said with a grin. _

  
  


 

 

_ “In my dreams, at least one goddamn scene!” _

  
  


 

 

_ “You have a TV show. Jesus.” _

  
  


 

 

_ “Wait what, oh my god, finally YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS-” _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

\---

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

“-yesYES!!”

  
  


 

 

“Cool it, Daryl Dixon!”

  
  


 

 

“...did you just nickname me after a dude with a crossbow.”

  
  


 

 

Tony shrugged. “You were fine with a mystical elf nickname earlier. What’s so bad about this one?”

  
  


 

 

“-you mother _ FUCKER- _ ”

  
  


 

 

“At least I have 3 movies!”

  
  


 

 

“At least I have a TV show! I’m probably gonna get more screen time than you, you better  _ watch it _ -” Clint said heatedly as he was glaring daggers into Tony.

  
  


 

 

**_The Benatar flew past the screen on its way into entering into a field of cosmic dust shaped in the form of a skull and the location_ ** **“KNOWHERE”** **_appeared on_ ** **_the screen._ **

  
  


 

 

Bruce chuckled.

  
  


 

 

Thor looked at him funny. “What’s to laugh about?”

  
  


 

 

Bruce shook his head. “There’s actually a nebula about 90-ish million lightyears from here that’s called the Skull and Crossbones Nebula. Not really sure of the real  scientific name, that’s more in the astronomy field. Wait, is Knowhere actually the nebula?”

  
  


 

 

“Neither confirm nor deny.”

  
  


 

 

Bruce’s eyes lit up. “Oh MY GOD, I need to contact Ms. Foster ASAP when we get back-”

  
  


 

 

Thor wrinkled his brow. “Ms. Foster?”

  
  


 

 

“Yeah, Jane Foster. She’s on the rise.”

  
  


 

 

“I know Jane Foster!”

  
  


 

 

“No way! Oh, that’s great, you and me can- wait, you can just confirm most of stuff about space for us, can’t you. Huh, that’ll be really fun,” Bruce underplayed, although Nat could tell how excited he was. His eyes betrayed him.

  
  


 

 

**_As Quill surveyed, he reported,_ ** **“This place looks deserted.”**

  
  


 

 

**“I’m reading movement, in the 3rd Quadrant,”** **_Drax reported dutifully._ **

  
  


 

 

**“Yeah, I’m picking that up too,”** **_Quill’s voice said while the camera showed Gamora steeling herself._ ** **“Let’s put down right here.”**

  
  


 

 

Clint looked away. He wasn’t getting the best vibes about this.

  
  


 

 

Nat wasn’t either, but it shouldn’t mean anything. The atmosphere of a situation, both logically and strategically didn’t mean that things couldn’t swing the Guardians’ way.

  
  


 

 

But this was Thanos they were talking about.

  
  
  


 

 

**_The four Guardians walked menacingly down the exit to the Benatar, before it showed them walking down a hallway._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Quill ducked behind a crate, before motioning for the offscreen Guardians to follow him as a faint, distant voice croaked out,_ ** **“I don’t have it…”**

  
  


 

 

**“Everyone in the galaxy knows that you’d sell your own brother if you thought it would add the slightest trinket to your pathetic collection,”** **_Thanos’s eerily disinterested voice said offscreen._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Quill put his right hand up in a fist, a sign meaning ‘halt’ in the silent language of shoulders._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Which everyone blatantly ignored._ **

  
  


 

 

Steve tried to take on a half- analyzing, half-offended face, which ended up skewing his features hilariously. “Do you not have the same hand signals as humans  do? Up in space?”

  
  


 

 

Thor smirked slightly before settling his face. “Oh yes, they simply decided not to follow their commander.”

  
  


 

 

Steve opened his mouth in protest. “What? They don’t follow orders from their  _ leader?  _ What is this?”

  
  


 

 

Tony shifted his gaze. “I thought we established that the anthropomorphic Webkinz was the leader?”

  
  


 

 

“Gamora seems the most in control-” Bruce said, putting in his own two sense.

  
  


 

 

Thor laughed. “No, we don’t have the same hand signals. Not everyone is like you people. And although I was with them for less than 5 minutes, I very obviously established myself as the leader. Can you all not read a situation?”

  
  


 

 

Nat smiled. She could read the situation. Like a book in 20/20 vision.

  
  


 

 

**_As the Guardians continued to sneak around, Thanos approached the Collector._ ** **“I know you have the Reality Stone, Tivan,”** **_he said, while the camera revealed the Collector sprawled on the ground._ ** **“Giving it to me would spare you a great deal of suffering.”**

  
  


 

 

**_Thanos took his boot and pressed it heavily into Tivan’s chest, causing him to cry out in pain._ **

  
  


 

 

Everyone’s mood soured as the air grew tense over what was to come- an unfair fight.

  
  


 

 

**_Tivan croaked out,_ ** **“I told you. I sold it.”**

  
  


 

 

**_He over exaggerated his movements._ ** **“Why would** **_I_ ** **lie?”**

  
  


 

 

**“I imagine it’s like breathing for you,”** **_Thanos said in a disappointed tone._ **

  
  


 

 

Tony frowned. He didn’t like the idea of this “Tivan” guy being caught in the middle of this.

 

 

 

But, based on what Thanos was saying, he didn’t exactly seem like the cream of the moral crop when it came to who was innocent in this.

  
  


 

 

Tony shivered. Why was he trusting what Thanos said? 

  
  


 

 

**“Like suicide.”**

  
  


 

 

**“So you do understand. Not even you would surrender something so precious.”**

  
  


 

 

**“I didn’t know what it** **_was-”_ **

  
  


 

 

**“Than you are even more of a fool than I took you for. Last chance, charlatan. Where’s the Stone?”**

  
  


 

 

**_The screen cut back to the Guardians._ **

  
  


 

 

**“Today…”** **_Drax breathed._ **

  
  


 

 

**“Drax.** **_Drax-” Quill breathed, almost inaudible._ **

  
  


 

 

**“...he pays for the deaths of my wife and daughter.”**

  
  


 

 

Bruce shoved his face in his hands, while Steve took a sharp inhale through his nose. “Come on…”

  
  


 

 

Steve shook his head. “Why does fate always kill our loved ones? Why does it have to be some sort of requirement? Can’t any of us just keep the ones we love for  once?” he said in a frustrated outburst.

  
  


 

 

“Sorry, sorry…” he said, immediately starting to apologize. “I shouldn’t have said that…”

  
  


 

 

Laurel clapped him on the shoulder. “Hey man, you’re preaching to the choir here.”

  
  


 

 

Steve ran a hand through his hair. “Doesn’t excuse my outburst there, though…”

  
  


 

 

Laurel leaned back in her chair. “Whatever you say. But I heard cursing out whoever’s up there is an effective strategy to let out some steam. Consider yourself excused.”

  
  


 

 

Bruce smiled a bit through his hands.

  
  


 

 

**“Drax- waaaaaaaaaait-”** **_Quill said as quietly as possible, and as Drax unsheathed his dagger by his boot._ ** **“Not yet not yet not yet-”**

  
  


 

 

**_Drax finally acknowledged Quill’s persuasion efforts by sending him a look and marching forward, towards Thanos._ **

  
  


 

 

Nat rubbed her hands absentmindedly. Drax’s rage would be valuable, but his… self-control (or should she say,  _ lack  _ of it) would definitely be a problem. How  would he fit into the big picture?

  
  


 

 

**_Quill grimaced as he hurried as quietly as possible to swerve in front of Drax and try to stop him._ **

  
  


 

 

**“Drax, Drax, he doesn’t have the Stone yet. We get it, and then we can stop him. We have to get the Stone first,”** **_Quill practically hissed._ ** **“Yeah.”**

  
  


 

 

**“No, no. For Ovette. For Camaria-”**

  
  


 

 

**_As Drax shoved Quill out of the way, Mantis reached out to his head._ **

  
  


 

 

**“Sleeeeeeeeeeep…”**

  
  


 

 

**_Drax immediately passed out, before slamming into the ground with a loud clang._ **

  
  
  


 

 

A collective grimace went around at the seemingly ear-piercing noise.

  
  


 

 

Clint began to massage the sides of his temples, all the while hoping that this new team wasn’t about to be absolutely obliterated by Thanos. Clint might not be  their biggest fan, but like hell he would let them die.

  
  


 

 

**_All the Guardians ducked as fast as they could, while Thanos turned, face graced with a small smile._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Thanos took his boot off of the Collector’s chest before picking him up by his collar, and throwing him unceremoniously into a glass display case, and walking_ ** **_calmly towards the disturbance._ **

  
  
  


 

 

The Avengers started to mentally prepare themselves for whatever would come next- good or bad.

  
  


 

 

Or worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I technically followed my update schedule? It's still 11:30 PM?
> 
>  
> 
> XD but today was my sister's birthday please forgive me


	26. Hostage Situation (The Kind-Of Battle of Knowhere)

**_All the Guardians ducked as fast as they could, while Thanos turned, face graced with a small smile._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Thanos took his boot off of the Collector’s chest before picking him up by his collar, and throwing him unceremoniously into a glass display case, and walking calmly towards the disturbance._ **

  
  
  


 

 

_ The Avengers started to mentally prepare themselves for whatever would come next- good or bad. _

  
  


 

 

_ Or worse. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

\---

  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

Bruce bit his lip, eyes straying from the screen. This must be the bad ending; the beginning of the end. If Thanos could beat the Hulk- and Thor- and presumably  _ Loki- _ who all 6 of the Avengers had just struggled to beat- than these four Guardians didn’t stand a chance in hell.

  
  
  


 

 

Nat tilted her head critically. Gamora was obviously their best shot at winning this battle; she had inside information, possibly knew Thanos’s weaknesses, and had a healthy dose or vengefulness to motivate her, but with Thanos having two Infinity Stones- what chance did she have?

  
  
  


 

 

**_Quill breathed out wide-eyed,_ ** **“Okay. Gamora-  Mantis- you go right,”** **_he said, trying to think on his toes while motioning to the right to emphasis his point._ **

  
  
  


 

 

**_Gamora immediately and rushed past Quill’s left._ **

  
  


 

 

Steve groaned out, rubbing his hands into his eyes. “This is not good…”

  
  


 

 

Tony shrugged. “I would trust the lady. She seems the most in touch with her militant side, you know?”

  
  


 

 

Steve stared at him incredulously. “Are you kidding me? In the military you  _ follow  _ your  _ commander _ ! And experience isn’t exactly required, I have led a rescue  mission with almost no experience.”

  
  


 

 

Tony sighed. “Like I haven’t heard that story everywhere. And didn’t you disobey your higher authority to go rescue the 107th?”

  
  


 

 

“I will  _ have you know- _ ”

  
  


 

 

Nat frowned. They seemed to hate each other unless they had an enemy to hate together.

  
  


 

 

Luckily Clint came to the rescue.

  
  


 

 

“Do we need to take you to couples therapy or something?”

  
  


 

 

“HEY!”

 

 

 

“-hEY!”

  
  


 

 

Peace at last.

  
  
  


 

 

**“The** **_other_ ** **right!”** **_Quill said, making a small grunt of annoyance as his team completely disobeyed him._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Gamora leaped off of boxes to launch herself into the air, aiming at Thanos, slashing at him until Thanos caught her blade, which he snapped beneath his fist._ **

 

 

 

**_Gamora took the sharp stub of the sword and promptly stabbed Thanos in the throat before breaking out the bejeweled dagger and stabbing him in the heart, before Gamora took out both blades and stepped back into a defensive stance._ **

 

 

 

**_Thanos let out a groan._ ** **“Why…”** **_he said in pain as he fell to his knees,_ ** **“Why you, daughter…”** **_he held out his hand, before completely collapsing, dead._ **

  
  


 

 

Steve, who was clenching his teeth in anticipation, let out a breath. “Oh,” he said simply.

  
  


 

 

Thor studied the screen. “I was expecting… more.”

  
  


 

 

Tony joked around, grateful at the release of tension. “Wow, I thought this guy was a threat!” he chuckled, still feeling uneasy.

  
  


 

 

“He  _ is!  _ He beat the Hulk! It can’t be that easy!” Bruce argued back, before quieting down. “It can’t be  _ that  _ easy to beat the Hulk…”

  
  


 

 

Laurel clicked her tongue as she watched them celebrate.

  
  


 

 

Clint pursed his lips at Laurel’s underwhelmed reaction. “There’s more to it, isn’t there. You wouldn’t have brought us here if it was that easy.”

  
  


 

 

Laurel’s silence told them everything as the group’s celebration fell back into quiet.

  
  
  


 

 

**_Gamora’s tough facade cracked as she stared at the corpse of Thanos, and she started to break down into pained sobs._ **

  
  


 

 

**_The Collector looked on wide-eyed as Drax, now conscious, and Quill said in amazement,_ ** **“That was quick…”**

  
  


 

 

**“Magnificent! Magnificent! Magnificent!”** **_The Collector taunted at Thanos’s body._ **

  
  
  


 

 

 

 

 

 

**“Is that sadness I sense in you, daughter?”**

  
  
  
  


 

 

Nat chewed her cheek. She knew that there was more to it, but this didn’t make any sense. How could he be a disembodied voice? Unless he hired a doppelganger, which was  _ very  _ unlikely. She didn’t like this.

  
  


 

 

**_The camera swiveled around Gamora’s shocked face towards Thanos’s corpse, which disappeared in a wave a red that continued around the room, revealing a burning, ransacked version of their surroundings._ **

  
  
  


 

 

**_Thanos continued his monologuing._ ** **“In my heart, I knew you still cared. But no one ever knows for sure. Reality is often disappointing.”**

  
  
  


 

 

As what happened sunk in, everybody looked about five seconds from punching something.

  
  
  


 

 

“He’s too unpredictable.”

  
  
  


 

 

Steve whipped his head around towards Bruce. “What?”

  
  
  


 

 

Bruce looked down in disappointment. “He’s too  _ unpredictable.  _ This’ll be almost impossible. He can play us on a whim. How are we supposed to beat him?”

  
  
  


 

 

“We get the Infinity Stones before he does. Simple.”

  
  


 

 

“But no one knows where the Soul Stone is!”

  
  


 

 

“Someone must know!”

  
  


 

 

“If Laurel doesn’t know, then I don’t think anyone does.”

  
  


 

 

Nat studied the conversation as she noticed Laurel twiddling her thumbs. Something was up.

  
  


 

 

**“That is… it was. Now, reality can be whatever I want.”**

  
  
  


 

 

**_Gamora turned with a disturbing amount of acceptance in her face as Thanos revealed himself in another wave of red._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Thanos twisted his gauntlet to admire the glowing red Reality Stone nestled in its proper space._ **

  
  
  


 

 

**_Gamora, her face wet but no longer crying, grit her teeth._ ** **“You knew I’d come.”**

  
  
  


 

 

“This is just getting worse and worse, isn’t it. And it’s not going to get better anytime soon,” Thor said, a new sense of dread hammered into his heart.

  
  


 

 

“Well aren’t you a prophet,” Tony said dryly.

  
  


 

 

“We can still hope, can’t we?” Steve said, ever the optimist.

  
  


 

 

“I don’t know, can we?” Tony burst slightly. “There might be hope for ourselves, but these, I don’t know, these  _ alternate  _ selves, there’s no way!”

  
  
  


 

 

**_Thanos looked down on Gamora._ ** **“I counted on it. There’s something we need to discuss, little one.”**

  
  


 

 

**_Gamora hesitated for a beat, before whipping around in an attempt to grab her blade, before Thanos grabbed her by the neck and swung her around._ **

  
  
  


 

 

**“THANOS!”** **_Drax screamed, holding two blades._ **

  
  
  


 

 

Bruce looked on, no hope in his eyes.

  
  


 

 

Everybody else didn’t fare much better.

  
  


 

 

**_Thanos smiled grimly before pointing the gauntlet at Drax, red stone glowing, and Drax crumbled into cubes._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Mantis and Quill flinched before Mantis was caught in another gauntlet attack, unraveling into a ribbon version of herself._ **

  
  


 

 

Clint covered his mouth. “Did he just… did he just kill them? Just like  _ that? _ ”

  
  


 

 

Tony gaped, looking at Laurel sideways. “He didn’t just do that, did he?  _ Did he?  _ Laurel! _ ” _

  
  


 

 

Noticing the mounting fear in her comrade’s eyes, she quickly tried to assure them. “No! No, they’re not dead, they’re just… I don’t know, it’s the Reality Stone, you  know!”

  
  


 

 

“No, I  _ don’t know!”  _ Bruce yelled. “I don’t get this!”

  
  


 

 

**“Let her go, Grimace!”** **_Quill yelled, advancing on Thanos with his blaster raised._ **

  
  


 

 

**“Peter…”** **_Gamora breathed, whether in relief or not could be argued._ **

  
  


 

 

**“I told you to go right.”**

  
  


 

 

**“Now? Really?”**

  
  


 

 

**_Thanos looked on with amusement._ **

  
  


 

 

**“You let her go!”**

  
  


 

 

**“Ah. The boyfriend.”**

  
  


 

 

Thor bit the inside of his cheek as everyone else held their breath, desping every second of the situation that was playing out on the screen.

  
  


 

 

**“I like to think of myself more as a Titan-killing, long-term booty call- Let. Her. GO....”**

 

 

 

**“Peter…”** **_Gamora pleaded once again._ **

  
  


 

 

**“...or I’m gonna blow that nutsack of a chin right off your** **_face._ ** **”**

  
  
  


 

 

**“Not him.”**

  
  


 

 

Steve exhaled loudly, in a discomforting way.

  
  


 

 

Nat looked to the side. It turned out that Steve would have to see his philosophy blow up in his face. Just as she expected.

  
  
  


 

 

But just because she expected it didn’t mean she wanted it.

  
  
  


 

 

**_Quill stopped, wet eyes flickering between Gamora and Thanos._ **

  
  
  


 

 

**“You PROMISED!** **_You promised!_ ** **”**

  
  
  


 

 

**_Quill looked back at her once more before lowering his gun from Thanos to where it was level with Gamora._ **

  
  
  


 

 

“NO! He wouldn’t do that!” Steve cried. “How could anyone do that?”

  
  


 

 

Clint shook his head. “I don’t know, Cap, I just don’t.”

  
  


 

 

Thor gazed at Steve. “Is it that nobody could do it, or just that you couldn’t?”

  
  
  


 

 

**_Thanos smiled with quiet confidence._ ** **“Oh daughter, you expect too much from him.”** **_He directed his words to Quill._ ** **“She’s asked, hasn’t she? Do it,”** **_he egged_ ** **_him on._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Quill and Gamora looked at each other helplessly, a bit too long for Thanos’s liking._ **

  
  


 

 

**_He shoved her forward, toward Quill’s blaster._ **

  
  


 

 

**“DO IT!”**

  
  


 

 

Steve looked like he was two seconds from bursting.

  
  


 

 

Clint had his eyes shut tightly. What if that was  _ Laura?  _ What would he do? Would he even be able to… kill her? For the greater good?

  
  
  


 

 

**_Quill, tearing up, whispered,_ ** **“I told you to go right…”**

  
  


 

 

**“I love you, more than anything…”**

  
  


 

 

**…**

  
  
  


 

 

**“I love you too.”**

  
  
  


 

 

 

**_Quill screwed up his face, breathing heavy._ **

 

 

 

  
  


 

**_Gamora took a few quick inhales before bracing._ **

  
  


 

 

 

**_And he fired._ **   
  



	27. SiS GonE SnAPpEd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pinkie promises can't solve everything, besides they only collectively agreed to not kill Bucky so don't think that they aren't still argumentative, especially when they are
> 
> *DUN DUN DUN DUDUN DUdun*
> 
> UNDER PRESSURE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I left it at an awkward spot last chapter, lets have a character development chapter woooooooo

_ In the last chapter: _

  
  
  


 

**_Quill screwed up his face, breathing heavy._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Gamora took a few quick inhales before bracing._ **

  
  


 

 

**_And he fired._ **

  
  
  
  
  


 

\---

  
  
  
  


 

 

Steve made an half-annoyed squeal into his hand, which was shoved into his face like his life depended on it.

  
  


 

 

“Not Gamora…” Bruce said, biting his lip. “She doesn’t deserve that.”

  
  


 

 

“At least she dies surrounded by the one she loved,” Thor said, bowing his head in slight mourning to the ally they never had time to know. 

  
  


 

 

Laurel turned a shade whiter at Thor’s words.

  
  


 

 

_ “I would be honored to die among my friends.” _

  
  


 

 

**_As Quill pulled the trigger, the deadly blaster shot was- not there._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Instead, there were iridescent bubbles floating softly upwards from the cold metal gun._ **

  
  


 

 

**_The two didn’t realize at first, with both of them having their eyes squeezed shut in dread._ **

  
  


 

 

**_Gamora opened her eyes as a small breath passed between her lips. Quill’s blaster turned into more bubbles, his disbelieving gaze watching them float away_ ** **_into flaming wreckage._ **   
  
  


 

 

**_Thanos, with the Reality Stone glowing red, cocked his head in an amused expression._ **

  
  
  


 

 

**“I like him,”** **_he said with genuine sincerity._ **

  
  
  


 

 

**_He then teleported with Gamora in his grasp, leaving Drax and Mantis to reform while Quill picked up the shattered remains of Gamora’s Godslayer._ **

  
  


 

 

Clint got a murderous look on his face. “He played them.”

  
  


 

 

“Quill must hate himself…” Tony trailed off.

  
  


 

 

Steve looked considerably brighter. “At least she is not  _ dead _ !” 

  
  


 

 

Tony sent him an incredulous look. “Is this much better?”

  
  


 

 

“Anything’s better than death!”

  
  


 

 

Tony, Bruce, and Nat shared a look, clearly not believing how naive Steve was being.

  
  


 

 

Nat shook her head. “Well, Thanos as good as has the Soul Stone now.”

  
  


 

 

Steve straightened a bit. “Gamora’s tough. She won’t break.”

  
  


 

 

“Are you kidding me? This is  _ Thanos  _ we’re talking about. He has three Infinity Stones-”

  
  


 

 

“He doesn’t have them  _ yet-” _

  
  


 

 

“He broke  _ Loki _ ! LOKI! He outsmarted  _ LOKI.  _ He killed him without even using the Infinity Stone, just by using loved ones as leverage, that’s his  _ game _ ! He almost  killed Thor, he made the Hulk scared, his  _ second-in-command  _ walked over me, a teenager, and a literal wizard like we were a goddamn doormat! Tell me, how in the hell does Gamora stand a chance,  _ Steve? _ ” Tony seethed.

  
  


 

 

“I’ll tell you how,  _ Stark.  _ We are here to prevent this, but you’re acting like its already happened. We’re making plans to  _ react  _ to events that are going to happen, instead of making plans to  _ prevent  _ them. You are getting worked up over a situation that will  _ never happen  _ as long as we, or at least  _ I,  _ am alive. Now, Gamora might break in this timeline, but we’ll make  _ damn sure  _ that this won’t even come close to happening. That’s how Gamora will  _ stand a chance. _ ”

  
  


 

 

“What if it does happen, huh? What if? Or are you going to stay in the middle of your giddy optimistic fever-dream and join us in reality, where plans can go wrong?”

  
  


 

 

“It won’t go wrong, because we have the  _ Time Stone!” _

  
  


 

 

“If it gets taken from us, what’s your plan then,  _ Captain _ ?!”

  
  


 

 

“We know where all the Infinity Stones are-”

  
  


 

 

“bUt wE DOn’T hAvE ThEM YeT-”

  
  


 

 

“You know wHAT-”

  
  


 

 

 

 

“Sit. Down.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

Laurel’s hiss permeated the room, before she stood abruptly. “I need you to-”

  
  


 

 

Nat clamped a hand on Laurel’s shoulder, sending her a look that communicated a thousand thoughts, before Laurel nodded stiffly and returned to her seat.

  
  


 

 

Nat now stood alone, before slowly morphing into a threatening stance.

  
  


 

 

“Listen, Nat, this doesn’t involve you,” Steve said, trying to deescalate the situation.

  
  


 

 

“Oh, I think it very much does, Rogers,” she said cooly, tacking Steve aback with the use of his last name.

  
  


 

 

“It’s okay Nat,” Tony explained.

  
  


 

 

“If it involves the Avengers, then it is very much  _ my  _ business, because believe it or not, neither of you are exactly my top priority. Now, I know a lot of things, and one of those many things is that you two go together like pure sodium and water, so I’m going to propose a solution. But I won’t be proposing it really, I’m going to say it and it is what is going to happen.

  
  


 

 

“I will be making plans. There will be plans for all situations, good and bad- nothing will be a surprise. Plan for the best, plan for the worst. And both of you will be taking orders from  _ me _ .”

  
  


 

 

They both jumped. “Nat-”

  
  


 

 

“No, you know what? I think I’ll have Barton help me with missions and have Bruce as my main scientist. At least they know how to act older than pre-pubescent teenagers. Doesn’t that sound good?” Nat said before spinning on her heel, and pausing briefly.

 

 

 

“Hey Bruce, Iron Man suits can be made autonomous, right? And how hard would it be to make a Widow Bite or some arrows out of a sheet of vibranium, about this big?” She said, gesturing her hands about as big as the Captain America shield.

  
  


 

 

“Uh, it’s technically possible,” Bruce said, obviously not wanting to be there.

  
  


 

 

“Great, now Соберись.” Nat said, before leaving Steve and Tony flabbergasted and promptly sitting back down near Barton and rolling her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Now Nat stood alone, before slowly morphing into a threatening stance."
> 
>  
> 
> This is 10000X more funny if you imagine Nat aggressively t-posing at them the entire time
> 
>  
> 
> Also, Соберись mean "get your shit together" ;)


	28. So SOMEONE had to reap the consequences of Civil War...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *COUGH COUGH* Rhodey *COUGH*
> 
>  
> 
> To try and get better at writing, I cruise Reddit for prompts and I've written a couple, should I post it just for fun idk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI THIS IS A PSA
> 
> My absolute favoritist Marvel fanfiction finally published its final chapter last Thursday and I strongly recommend it- it is called From Now On by iamirondad- and it is 201,692 words of impeccable writing and storylines and is the epitome of the writer I want to be someday. They inspired me to start writing, and I'm so happy and so incredibly sad that it's over (I literally cried during the finale); and I sure as heck will be reading it religiously for years to come.
> 
> You can also find it in my bookmarks- there's only 8 so it should be easy to find :D YOU SHOULD READ IT, here's the link
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/19362871/chapters/46067980

_ In the last chapter: _

 

 

  
  


_ “No, you know what? I think I’ll have Barton help me with missions and have Bruce as my main scientist. At least they know how to act older than pre-pubescent teenagers. Doesn’t that sound good?” Nat said before spinning on her heel, and pausing briefly. _

 

 

 

_ “Hey Bruce, Iron Man suits can be made autonomous, right? And how hard would it be to make a Widow Bite or some arrows out of a sheet of vibranium, about this big?” She said, gesturing her hands about as big as the Captain America shield. _

  
  


 

 

_ “Uh, it’s technically possible,” Bruce said, obviously not wanting to be there. _

  
  


 

 

_ “Great, now Соберись.” Nat said, before leaving Steve and Tony flabbergasted and promptly sitting back down near Barton and rolling her eyes. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

\---

  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

As Tony and Steve glared the everliving daylights out of each other, the screen lit up, back to life.

  
  
  


 

 

**_A Quinjet roared past the screen, coming in for a smooth landing on the grounds of the Avengers facility, before the camera switched to Rhodey, who was looking down in sad contemplation._ **

  
  
  


 

 

**“Still no word from Vision?”** **_a gruff, offscreen voice grunted out._ **

  
  
  


 

 

**_Rhodey shrugged._ ** **“Satellites lost him… somewhere over Edinburgh.”**

  
  
  


 

 

Tony finally ripped his eyes from staring holes into Steve’s at the voice of Rhodes filling the empty space, his grimace replaced with a soft smile.

  
  


 

 

Bruce was a completely different story.

  
  


 

 

“I know that voice!” he said in a deadly manner. “That’s Ross, isn’t it,” he said, starting to rise from his seat.

  
  


 

 

Thor grabbed his sleeve nervously before he could go any farther, spotting the twinged of green in his complexion. “Perhaps this isn’t a good idea, friend. How do you know this Ross fellow?”

  
  


 

 

“How do you  _ not  _ know him?!”

  
  


 

 

Thor leveled him with a flat look.

  
  


 

 

“...okay, so you wouldn’t know him. Oh, but I know him, alright,” Bruce grit out. “He’s the one that  _ ruined  _ my  _ life!” _

  
  


 

 

Steve glanced anxiously in his direction. “What, um… what exactly happened?” he mumbled.

  
  


 

 

“He made  _ me _ ! He made Hulk!” Bruce grunted. “He stopped me from seeing Betty! His stupid  _ face  _ is the cause of all my problems!”

  
  


 

 

Laurel snorted. “Problem is his middle name.”

  
  


 

 

Bruce gestured. “See! She gets it! How could he make things any worse for me, for us!”

  
  


 

 

 

Laurel smirked. “Lots more,” she whispered under her breath, to the weird look of Steve.

  
  


 

 

 

**_The camera switched to Ross, who was surrounded by a table full of smart-looking businessmen. However, the table and all the people present except for Rhodey were all holographic._ **

  
  


 

 

 

**“On a stolen Quinjet with four of the world’s most wanted criminals,”** **_Ross deadpanned._ **

  
  


 

 

 

**_Rhodey moved slowly towards him._ ** **“You know they’re only criminals because** **_you_ ** **-”** **_he said, jabbing a finger towards Ross,_ ** **“-call them that, right sir?”**

  
  


 

 

 

**“My god, Rhodes, your talent for horse** **_shit_ ** **rivals my own.”**

  
  


 

 

 

Steve looked away uncomfortably. He still couldn’t wrap his mind around it. Being a criminal just didn’t suit him, or so he thought. But this Ross guy- he seems wrong; corrupt even- and well, he didn’t like bullies from anywhere, right? And calling the government out for its wrongdoings got you branded a criminal. The thought of it wanted to make Steve laugh bitterly. He wondered what Zola would think, seeing the great Captain America (hypothetically) turn against his own country. Would he even be surprised at all?

  
  


 

 

 

**_Rhodey stood his ground._ ** **“If it weren’t for those Accords, Vision would’ve been right here,”** **_he said accusingly._ **

  
  


 

 

 

**_Ross stood up, no emotion penetrating his annoyingly calm voice._ ** **“I remember your signature on those papers, Colonel.”**

  
  


 

 

 

**“That’s right,”** **_Rhodey said, a bitter tone creeping into his voice._ ** **“I’m pretty sure I’ve paid for that.”**

  
  


 

 

 

**_The camera showed the two standing in a showoff, Rhodey’s leg braces being painfully apparent._ **

  
  


 

 

 

Tony’s eyes widened. “W-what? Excuse me?”

  
  


 

 

 

Steve faltered. “W-wait, who…what?”

  
  


 

 

 

Tony took a deep breath. “Laurel, you have one minute to explain the  _ goddamn  _ reason Rhodey has leg braces!”

  
  


 

 

 

Laurel scratched the back of her neck. “Well, um… you gave him the War Machine armor, yeah?”

  
  


 

 

 

Tony dragged his hands over his face. “Oh my god, he had an accident- didn’t he? Oh god, he’s a casualty,” he said, crashing into a seat.

  
  
  


 

 

Laurel patted his shoulder. “Yeah, um- y-yeah. He, uh…”

  
  


 

 

 

“Who.”

  
  


 

 

 

“What?”

  
  


 

 

 

“Goddamn it Laurel,  _ who?!” _

  
  


 

 

 

“Are you sure you want to know that?”

  
  


 

 

 

Tony glared holes into her. “Of course I want to know-” his face dropped, before turning fearfully. “Did I do that?”

  
  


 

 

 

Laurel jumped back. “Oh god no! You didn’t do that! It’s just that, a bad person didn’t do it,”

  
  


 

 

 

Nat rounded in. “It was during the Civil War, wasn’t it? It was, I can tell.”

  
  


 

 

 

Clint straightened up. “So if it was one of us, then who was it?”

  
  


 

 

 

Tony gazed around at his teammates, trying but not being able to fathom who could’ve done it.

  
  


 

 

 

“It wasn’t really anyone’s fault, but it was everyone’s at the same time!” Laurel tried to explain, but seeing Tony’s suspicious face, she caved in. “It was a combination of Vision and Sam.”

  
  


 

 

 

“VISION?!” Tony exploded.

  
  


 

 

 

“SAM?!” Steve shouted at the same time.

 

 

 

 

Tony took a walk, fuming, Bruce trailing behind him, trying to calm him, while Steve plopped down near Thor, trying to figure out how it was Sam and Visions’,  nobody’s, and everybody’s fault at the same time.

  
  


 

 

 

Clint, who was ramrod straight, quietly asked, “Was it on purpose?”

  
  


 

 

 

Tony stopped.

  
  


 

 

 

Laurel avoided his eyes, before deciding to say, “Rhodey wasn’t the… intended target.”

  
  


 

 

 

Everyone seemed satisfied, except for Nat.

  
  


 

 

 

Natasha sent Laurel a look that said that they’d be talking about who the intended target was later.

  
  


 

 

 

**_Ross studied Rhodey’s braces without feeling, before meeting his eyes._ ** **“You have second thoughts?”**

  
  


 

 

 

**“Not anymore,”** **_Rhodey said defiantly, arms crossed._ **

  
  


 

 

 

**_As they heard stepping, they both turned their heads towards the echoing sound._ **

  
  


 

 

 

**_Before them stood Steve, Natasha, Wanda, and Sam, who was carrying an injured Vision._ **

  
  
  


 

 

Thor blew out an exasperated breath. “This is going to be a tough battle for Rhodey,” he said, which made Steve practically convulse.

  
  


 

 

 

“Excuse me, we will not be fighting him!”

  
  


 

 

 

“-you will NOT be fighting him!” Tony screeched. “Nope! Not happening! I  _ dare  _ any of you to try to touch him! I  _ dare you- _ ”

  
  


 

 

 

**“Mister Secretary,”** **_Steve said, striding confidently._ **

  
  


 

 

 

**_Ross slinked over and came to a stop, in Steve’s face._ ** **“You’ve got some nerve. I’ll give you that.”**

  
  


 

 

 

**_Natasha didn’t skip a beat._ ** **“You could use some of that right now.”**

  
  


 

 

 

**“The world’s on fire. And you think… all is forgiven?”**

  
  


 

 

 

**“I’m not looking for forgiveness,”** **_Steve said, giving Ross the Eyes of Disapproval(™),_ ** **”And I’m way past asking for permission. Earth just lost her best defender. So we’re here to fight,”** **_he said, before stepping forward, staring down in Ross’s eyes, which hadn’t moved an inch since he first started talking._ **

  
  


 

 

 

**“If you want to stand in our way… we’ll fight you too.”**

  
  


 

 

 

**_Ross studied his face before turning to Rhodes._ ** **“Arrest them,”** **_he said simply. Rhodey simply gave him a nod and a lackluster_ ** **“All over it.”**

  
  


 

 

 

**_Ross gave him a nod of acknowledgement and Rhodey swiped his hand through the air, getting rid of the hologram with two short beeps._ **

  
  


 

 

 

“Well damn,” Clint said. “Didn’t think you had the heart in you to stand up to government agents,” he snorted.

  
  


 

 

 

Tony shifted uncomfortably. Rhodey had been injured-  _ paralyzed-  _ and Ross just expected him to arrest Mr. Tall, Blond, & Handsome along with his crew? Ross was a dick, leaving him 5-1. How was Rhodey ever gonna fight that? This fight was gonna be ugly, especially when they had  _ Thanos  _ to worry about-

  
  


 

 

 

“Asshole,” Bruce grumbled, summarizing everyone’s feelings in one word, no matter who they were pissed at.

  
  


 

 

 

Steve was studying the screen, trying to figure out what his future self- or himself? What would he do now? Would his future self do the same thing? Steve tried to calm down and think rationally. He, himself, his  _ now self,  _ what would he do? Would he have to deal blows to someone in leg braces? Steve’s face paled at the idea, the notion that he would have to become the bully for once.

  
  
  


 

 

 

**_Rhodey and the Rogues stared at each other, the tension palpable in the air._ **

  
  


 

 

 

**“That’s a court martial,”** **_Rhodey said emotionlessly, before a small smile trailed his way onto his face._ **

  
  
  


 

 

 

**“It’s great to see you, Cap,”** **_he grinned, sticking out a hand that Steve returned with a smile._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GO BILLS
> 
> we won against Miami woooo but they had us in the first half not gonna lie


	29. The Delicate Art of Not Giving a Single Shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Woot woot I have not perished
> 
> Some metaphorical shit hits the fan here, regarding Clint so character arcs I guess

_In the last chapter:_

  


**_Rhodey and the Rogues stared at each other, the tension palpable in the air._ **

 

 

 

**_“That’s a court martial,” Rhodey said emotionlessly, before a small smile trailed his way onto his face._ **

 

 

 

**_“It’s great to see you, Cap,” he grinned, sticking out a hand that Steve returned with a smile._ **

 

 

 

 

 

 

\---  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 

 

 

 

Thor smiled softly at the screen. At least they weren’t being idiots for once.

 

 

 

 

“I don’t know whether that counts betrayal or not,” Tony grumbled. Steve simply held up his hands in a surrendering gesture.

 

 

 

“I’m just glad I don’t end up fighting him,” Steve huffed, obviously relieved.

 

 

 

“Oh, we _definitely_ would’ve had a problem if there was a fight-”

 

 

 

Clint sighed deeply, before lolling his head back. Did it ever _end_ with these two? He was honestly surprised that the Avengers even managed to make it all the way to defeating Loki. Although Coulson did help a lot. He mentally trailed off from Steve and Tony’s debate.

 

 

 

“I wouldn’t ever fight anyone I didn’t have to!”

 

 

 

“ _How do you think this started?!”_

 

 

 

Laurel simply looked at them boredly, pretending to squish their heads like grapes underneath her fingers as Bruce smirked.

 

 

 

“If you _ever_ thought of fighting Rhodey-”

 

 

 

“It wasn’t even me!”

 

 

 

Laurel sighed exasperatedly. “You guys really need to learn the fine art of knowing how not to give a fuck. Seems like Rhodey mastered it by the time he makes it to the future.”

 

 

 

Thor mimicked a toast. “Cheers to that,” he grumbled.

 

 

 

**_Natasha wore a grin as she leaned in for a side-arm hug._ **

 

 

 

**_As Rhodey pulled back, he played with a wrench in his hands._ ** **“Well, you guys… really look like crap. Must’ve been a rough couple of years,”** **_he joked._ **

 

 

 

**_Vision smiled tiredly while Sam deadpanned,_ ** **“Yeah, well the hotels weren’t exactly five star.”**

 

 

 

Tony finally managed to pull himself out of the void that was debating with Captain America. “Oh jesus, you had to stay in _hotels?_ Just that is worth stopping the Civil War for. Hotels. Ugh,” he perpetuated with a shiver while Natasha scoffed.

 

 

 

“What’s a hotel?” Thor asked, interested.

 

 

 

“-and that’s not important. Later,” Bruce said, patting Thor on the shoulder.

 

 

 

**“Uh… I think you look great,”** **_the offscreen voice of Bruce said, before the camera panned over to Bruce stepping down onto the main floor._ ** **“Uh, heh… Yeah. I’m back.”**

 

 

 

“Very eloquent. Epitome of public speaking.”

 

 

 

“Shut up, Tony.”

 

 

 

Tony smirked. “It’s fine, we can still talk nerdy. That’s all that matters.”

 

 

 

Clint raised his eyebrows. “And what do you mean, _you look great_? That has some shippy vibes to me. LAUREL!”

 

 

 

Laurel looked ready to murder him.

 

 

 

“IS THERE A SHIP OR AM I CRAZY?”

 

 

 

“You know what? You don’t get to know, how about that?”

 

 

 

“What?” Tony seethed. “Oh, so you tell ships when _I’m_ in them, but when it comes to Bruce, it suddenly isn’t okay? Ok, I see how it is.”

 

 

 

“Took you long enough to piece together, because that is exactly how it works,” Laurel said, smirking.

 

 

 

**_Natasha stared, her calm tone betrayed by the subdued surprise and slight panic in her eyes._ ** **“Hi Bruce.”**

 

 

 

**_Bruce then stared back, and then Natasha continued to stare back, the two of them engaging in an uncomfortably long staring contest._ **

 

 

 

**“This is awkward…”** **_Sam said, drawing_ ** **what the fuck dude** **_looks from Vision and Wanda._ **

 

 

 

Clint looked about to explode. “Okay, seriously, I am _dying_ to figure out what happened here!”

 

 

 

Natasha looked quickly to the side. Did she actually…? Stupid. Goddamnit. She stared upward, mentally warring with her brain. Not only did she do that, she couldn’t…. Do words! Why the hell couldn’t she English in that scene? Son of a bitch.

 

 

 

Bruce similarly questioned his existence. Anybody could read that room (except Clint? He’s kind of a dumbass). 

 

 

 

Natasha understood why Tony was so determined to look anywhere but at someone’s face when he was in the same situation.

 

 

 

**_The screen cut to Rhodey talking as Bruce moved, both thinking their hardest._ **

 

 

 

**“So we gotta assume they’re coming back, right?”**

 

 

 

**_Wanda than appeared, leaning against the wall._ ** **“And they clearly know how to find us.”**

 

 

 

**_Bruce nodded, before looking around the room._ ** **“We need all hands on deck. Where’s Clint?”**

 

 

 

Laurel groaned as she predicted exactly where the conversation was going to go.

 

 

 

“That’s _right,_ Bruce, where _am I?”_ Clint said, staring directly into the side of Laurel’s head.

 

 

 

Laurel didn’t dignify that with a response. He already had a tv show on the way. She didn’t owe him anything.

 

 

 

**_Natasha stared at the ground._ ** **“After the whole Accords situation, he and Scott took a deal. It was too tough on their families,”** **_she explained._ **

 

 

 

Clint froze to his seat, _praying_ that nobody noticed.

 

 

 

“Who’s Scott?” Bruce questioned, before it caught up to him. “Wait, _families?_ ”

 

 

 

Thor clapped Clint on the shoulder. “Congratulations, Clint! I bet your future family will be powerful and your descendants will be-”

 

 

 

Tony gaped. “Okay, I’m gonna stop you right there. _Family_?”

 

 

 

Clint sunk, mumbling, “I mean, I have a brother, he’s kinda family. Maybe that’s what it means.”

 

 

 

Tony looked over at Natasha, who was staring wide-eyed at nothing, before turning back to Clint with a squint in his eye. “Yeah, no. Natasha definitely knows something. Wait, do you have a girlfriend or something? I doubt that, but maybe she’ll become your wife or something.”

 

 

 

“I have a wife,” Clint whispered

 

 

 

Steve gasped while Bruce strained to hear it. “What?”

 

 

 

“I HAVE A WIFE!” Clint practically shouted. “Her name’s Laura.”

 

 

 

While Steve turned into the human version of a buffering sign, Bruce smiled. “Good for you. That’s really cool.”

 

 

 

Clint decided to fuck it. If he’s bragging about his family might as well go full dad mode and brag about his kids too. And future kid. Whatever. Anyways, they decided not to keep secrets anymore, right?

 

 

 

“Yep. There’s Laura, my _beautiful_ wife, and my boy Cooper and my little girl Lila.”

 

 

 

Tony choked. “You have _kids?!_ ”

 

 

 

Clint tried to look calm as he saw Natasha give him an _abort mission_ gesture out of the corner of his eye. “Yep, and Laurel here told me that I’m gonna have another little boy. Nathaniel, apparently.”

 

 

 

Natasha softened her frantic gesturing at the thought of another little Barton.

 

 

 

Thor clapped happily. “Oh, that’s so good! They can join Tony’s offspring if he does end up having one, then. I wonder if anyone else will have kids?”

 

 

 

As Thor fawned over Clint’s kids, Natasha’s smile dropped suddenly, turning to a grimace.

 

 

 

Bruce scratched the back of his head, before meeting Natasha’s awkward gaze. It was weird seeing her like she got emotionally punched in the stomach, seeing as she was so confident most of the time.

 

 

 

Tony was in the middle of an existential crisis. “So wait, my joke _was_ right! You do look like a dad ‘cause you _are_ one!”

 

 

 

Laurel furrowed her eyebrows. “That’s what you think of?”

 

 

 

Clint was practically getting choked in a hug by Thor.

 

 

 

“I’m gonna teach your daughter to be a VALKYRIE!”

 

 

 

“What the hell? Thor NO-”

 

 

 

**_The conversation continued on onscreen, as none of the Future Avengers seem surprised by the mention of Clint’s family._ **

 

 

 

**“Who’s Scott?”**

 

 

 

**“Antman,”** **_Steve supplied._ **

 

 

 

**“There’s an Antman** **_and_ ** **a Spider-Man?”** **_Bruce said, trailing as he went offtopic._ **

 

 

 

Clint seized the moment to divert attention from his family. “Look guys! There’s a new superhero called Bug Guy or something!”

 

 

 

Tony squinted. “Didn’t we already meet Peter and Mantis?”

 

 

 

Laurel shrugged. “Well there’s another one.”

 

 

 

Tony shrugged. “Yeah, there’s obviously Natasha. HEY-” he screeched as Natasha lunged at him for calling her a bug lady.

 

 

 

Bruce sighed. “It’s the Scott guy, isn’t it. Antman, right? Kinda weird name. What’re his powers?”

 

 

 

“He can shrink, grow, and summon an army of ants,” she said as Clint burst into laughter. “What?” she asked accusingly.

 

 

 

“I’m sorry, that’s just the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

 

 

 

“It better not be, you Bird Archer. He’s a cinnamon roll, and he saves your asses multiple times. In fact, many people owe him their lives.”

 

 

 

Tony rolled his eyes, before gesturing to Steve's journal. “Steve, want to add him to the list of cinnamon rolls?” Steve shrugged. “Don’t have one yet.”

 

 

 

**“Okay, look,”** **_Bruce continued, getting back on track._ ** **“Thanos has the biggest army in the universe. And he’s not gonna stop until he…. he gets… Vision’s** **stone,”** **_he said defeatedly._ **

 

 

 

**“Well then, we have to protect it,”** **_Natasha said like it was obvious._ **

 

 

 

**_Vision cut in._ ** **“Well then we have to destroy it. I’ve been giving a good deal of thought to this entity,”** **_he said, gesturing to the Mind Stone,_ ** **“in my head, about its nature. But also, its composition. I think if it were exposed to a significant enough energy source, something, very similar to its own signature, perhaps…”** **_he continued, addressing Wanda directly,_ ** **“its molecular integrity would fail.”**

 

 

 

Steve’s eyes widened. “Is this robot suicidal? What is he thinking?”

 

 

 

“He’s… destroying the Stone,” Natasha said with a certain respect in her voice. “At least he’s doing what needs to be done.”

 

 

 

Steve looked disgusted. “If we destroy a Stone, do one that _isn’t_ lodged in someone’s forehead, maybe? How about one like the Reality Stone?”

 

 

 

**_Wanda shared the same sentiment._ ** **“And you with it. We’re not having this conversation.”**

 

 

 

**“Eliminating the Stone is the only way to be certain that Thanos can’t get it.”**

 

 

 

**“That’s too high a price.”** ****

 

 

 

**_Vision held her face in his hands._ ** **“Only you have the power to pay it,”** **_he said softly, acceptance in his tone._ ** **“Thanos threatens half the Universe. One life cannot stand in the way of defeating him.”**

 

 

 

**_Steve stared very intently at the floor._ ** **“But it should. We don’t trade lives, Vision.”**

 

 

 

**_Vision walked towards Steve._ ** **“Captain, 70 years ago, you laid down your life to save many millions of people. Tell me, why is this any different.”**

 

 

 

**_Bruce butted in suddenly,_ ** **“Because you might have a choice.”**  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I don't have a Disney + account and they're going to take Infinity War off Netflix- there goes my visual source.
> 
>  
> 
> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ guess i'll die
> 
> or watch bootleg youtube videos


	30. "Wakanada? Wa, wa-wakanda."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ^ actual quote by Bruce in Avengers: Age of Ultron
> 
> BUCKY HAPPENS so FUN
> 
> Steve isn't exactly fine, yep

_In the last chapter:_

  
  


 

 

**_Vision walked towards Steve. “Captain, 70 years ago, you laid down your life to save many millions of people. Tell me, why is this any different.”_ **

  
  


 

 

**_Bruce butted in suddenly, “Because you might have a choice.”_ **

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

———

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 

Wow. It was just Steve’s lucky day, wasn’t it? He didn’t have to fight Rhodey, and now he didn’t have to sentence Vision to an untimely death. He celebrated in his head, but by now he knew that his sentiments would be misconstrued if he expressed them to the group. He rolled his eyes at the thought. He couldn’t even share his opinions without being ‘burned’ or whatever by Tony or the rest.

  
  
  


 

 

Focus. What even was future Bruce’s plan, anyways?

  
  
  


 

 

 **“Your mind is made up of a complex construct of overlays,”** **_Bruce said reverently in a tone only nerds could have when talking about technology._ ** **“J.A.R.V.I.S. Ultron. Tony, me, the Stone. All of them mixed together. All of them learning from one another.”**

  
  
  


 

 

Bruce, who was looking very happy with his future self for once, had a thousand emotions flick over his face when reminded that he _technically_ had a kid with Tony and two A.Is. J.A.R.V.I.S, and… what was the name? Ultron? Jesus Christ.

  
  


 

 

Tony looked over, his blank face trying not to betray any emotion but instead portraying his deadness inside that he felt for that fact.

  
  


 

 

Thor looked confused. “Wait, Laurel, I thought you said I and Lady Cho also helped make him?”

  
  


 

 

Oh _god,_ like Bruce needed that reminder.

  
  


 

 

“Yeah, you helped, but you…” Laurel tried to explain, “Your lightning powered him up. Bruce and Tony and J.A.R.V.I.S and Ultron created the idea and code for him, while Cho built the body.”

  
  


 

 

“So, you could say that Bruce and Tony _conceived_ the idea-”

  
  


 

 

“I’m not the one with actual kids-”

  
  


 

 

“...and I regret that decision to tell you already,” Clint said dryly while Nat smirked in a childish ‘I told you so!’ way.

  
  


 

 

 **“You’re saying Vision isn’t just the Stone,”** **_Wanda supplied cooly, seemingly weirdly not distraught about the fact that Vision’s life was on the line._ **

  
  


 

 

**“I’m saying that -- if we take out the Stone -- there’s still a whole lot of Vision left. Perhaps the best parts.”**

  
  


 

 

 **_Natasha’s eyes flicked between Steve and Bruce._ ** **“Can we do that?”**

  
  


 

 

 **_Bruce looked down and shook his head._ ** **“Not me, not here.”**

  
  


 

 

 **“Well you better find some** **_one,_ ** **and some** **_where_ ** **fast,”** **_the offscreen voice of Rhodey said dryly._ ** **“Ross isn’t exactly going to let you guys have your old rooms back.”**

  
  


 

 

**_Steve looked down at the ground in thought, before he cut in after Rhodey’s monologue._ **

  
  


 

 

**“I know someone.”**

  
  
  
  


 

 

Bruce furrowed his brow. If he couldn’t do it, who could? Tony? He voiced his concerns to the group.

  
  


 

 

Nat replied quickly. “There’s the slight problem, of him, you know, _being in space_.”

  
  


 

 

“There’s the Strange guy, he could remove the Stone from his head, he’s the best neurosurgeon the world has to offer.”

  
  


 

 

“And a wizard!” Clint supplied excitedly. 

  
  


 

 

“Yep, still in space,” Nat said.

  
  


 

 

“I mean, he hopefully won’t be in space when it’s our turn,” Steve interjected.

  
  


 

 

Clint continued onward. “I mean, what are the chances that you are in space the one time we need you, Tony? That’s a very Stark thing to do, you know.”

  
  


 

 

“Which brings us back to the main problem,” Natasha redirected. “Who is this person? Is it Helen Cho?”

  
  


 

 

“Maybe it’s the Ultron guy? He helped create Vision, so he must be pretty smart,” Bruce noted, while Laurel snorted and choked on air, not unnoticed by anyone.

  
  


 

 

Seeing all eyes on her, she simply sputtered out, “Uh, n-no. No Ultron.”

  
  


 

 

Tony rolled his eyes. “Okay, so it’s not Mr. Ultron or whatever. Who _is it?_ ”

  
  


 

 

 **_As a triumphant sound of horns and the steady beat of African drums start to play, the camera does a fly-by view of a large Panther sculpture embedded into_ ** **_rock, before allowing a view of a futuristic city._ **

  
  
  


 

 

“What. _IS THAT_?!” Bruce screeched. 

 

 

 

“Well, the instruments indicate an African culture, backed up by the sculpture of the large panther, an important symbol in Central Africa, especially to the third world nation of Wakanda. Although, the large-scale city isn’t exactly in place. But all things point to Wakanda,” Nat said, eyes squinting ferociously at the screen, trying to decipher anything.

  
  
  


 

 

“Wait, Wakanda? Isn’t that where the vibranium from Cap’s shield was found?” Tony said, somewhat excitedly.

  
  


 

 

“My shield was made from African metal? Cool,” Steve said with awe as Bruce floundered, finally able to say, “Yes!”

  
  


 

 

Nat’s eyes lit up and she said, “What if they had more?”

  
  


 

 

Clint straightened up at the realization, and echoed Natasha’s words. “What if they _did_ have more?”

  
  


 

 

“Have more what?”

  
  


 

 

“ _Vibranium!”_

  
  


 

 

“What’s vibranium?” Thor said in a quiet, confused voice in the corner. “I mean, if it can repel my hammer, could I maybe get some of that?”

  
  


 

 

“It’s only the strongest and most valuable metal in the world!” Bruce nerded out. “If Wakanda had more, they’d be the richest country in the wor……. Ohhhhh,” Bruce said, finally getting it.

  
  


 

 

 **_The camera switched to the back of an African man’s head, who was walking across a field, as the title card_ ** **“WAKANDA”** **_showed up across the bottom of the_ ** **_screen._ **

  
  


 

 

 **“You’ll have the Kingsguard, and the Dora Milaje have been alerted,”** **_a smooth, female African accent floated across the screen._ **

  
  


 

 

 **“And the Border tribe?”** **_T’Challa asked._ **

  
  


 

 

 **“Those that are left,”** **_Okoye informed while holding her spear tighter to her, bitterness in her voice._ **

  
  


 

 

Natasha did a double take. That wasn’t King T’Chaka. That was his son, Prince T’Challa… with the leader of the Dora Milaje. The _Kingsguard._ He’s king, isn’t he?

  
  


 

 

“Who’s that?” Thor squinted. 

  
  


 

 

“Oh, that’s the Wakandan prince, T’Challa, and the leader of the Dora Milaje,” Clint told Thor.

  
  


 

 

“The… Dora Milaje?” Tony said, butchering the word. “Ummm… what?”

  
  


 

 

“It’s an all female royal guard. Pretty cool if you ask me.”

  
  


 

 

Thor’s face grew very happy, not dissimilar to an excited golden retriever. “You Midgardians have your own Valkyries?”

  
  


 

 

Clint frowned. “Wait, _that’s_ what you said you would train Lila to be?! THOR I SWEAR TO WHATEVER GOD YOU BELIEVE IN-”

  
  


 

 

“I thought you understood that!”

  
  


 

 

“I could only tell it was bad, not what it was exactly-”

  
  


 

 

“The Valkyries are _not_ bad-”

  
  


 

 

**“Send word to the Jabari tribe as well. M’Baku likes a good fight.”**

  
  


 

 

**“And what of this one?”**

  
  


 

 

 **“This one may be tired of war,”** **_T’Challa said plainly._ **

  
  


 

 

**_The camera switched to a far away shot of a man doing simple chores._ **

  
  


 

 

**“But the White Wolf has rested long enough.”**

  
  


 

 

**_Two of the trailing guards peeled off from the party, as T’Challa and Okoye walked forward. One of the guards placed a case on a hay bale, before opening it._ **

  
  


 

 

**_The form of a long-haired, arm-missing Bucky showed up over the crest of the hill as the guard walked off._ **

  
  
  


 

 

Steve’s face went white, as if seeing a ghost, which he technically was.

  
  


 

 

**_The form of a sleek metal left arm was shown, before cutting back to Bucky’s face. “Where’s the fight?”_ **

  
  
  


 

 

Steve shakily said, “No…” before slamming forcefully back down into his seat.

 

 

  
  


“He can’t be alive… I _watched_ him _die_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I set myself up for a clusterfuck of a chapter next time
> 
> did i write emotion well? huh well we getting angsty again for sure


	31. Cursed With Knowledge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> angst ANGST  
> seasoned with a hint of nice Thor and ANGST

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *inspired by a recent sibling fight that I lost and then re-won in my head*
> 
> ummm Steve and Laurel are slight wrecks?

_ In the last chapter: _

  
  


 

**_The form of a sleek metal left arm was shown, before cutting back to Bucky’s face. “Where’s the fight?”_ **

  
  


 

_ Steve shakily said, “No…” before slamming forcefully back down into his seat. _

  
  


 

_ “He can’t be alive… I watched him die.” _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 

**\---**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 

Laurel sat, really thinking through this for the first time. Was this movie really a good idea? Was this  _ really  _ the answer?

  
  


 

She was so confident before. So filled with determination to save the universe, to save these six special, wonderful, utterly amazing people and all the others to come along after them, that she didn’t think to take a precious second considering the consequences.

  
  


 

She was really questioning it as she glanced at her  _ friends _ \- no, she wasn’t a friend to them. Natasha had made that quite clear. She had known them for just over an hour and yet she had been putting them through this emotional train wreck of a situation- and she cussed herself out internally, taking a deep breath before looking at the latest person she had just broken the spirit of.

  
  


 

While the rest of his teammates stared at him, not knowing what to do, Steve wasn’t even staring at the face of Bucky. His wide, blue-with-a-bit-of-green eyes blown open, taking in so much that they couldn’t see, stared directly into hers with an open, unflinching,  _ betrayed _ gaze.

  
  


 

Not expecting it, Laurel quickly shuddered in a quick gasp before quickly breaking the gaze.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

70 years. That’s how long it had been. That’s how long ago Steve drove that damned airplane into that damned ice, leaving behind everything he had ever known, trading it for this ragged group of personalities that clashed as if all six had a sword and their main goal in life was to kill the others.

  
  


 

Steve sunk into himself, clenching his fists so hard he thought he might break his fingers. Could he even do that? What would win, the healing factor or super strength? 

  
  
  


_ God,  _ he missed the Howling Commandos. He saved them, but they saved him in return - they gave him the respect he craved, the respect he needed after being shuffled around as a show for months on end. He missed  _ Bucky. _

  
  
  


Everybody seemed to forget that although his death was 70 years ago, it was only a couple of months for Steve Rogers.

  
  
  


...and now, he’s ALIV-

  
  
  


He felt a stinging pain on his cheek as he abruptly launched headfirst back into reality. He stared right into the pissed-off looking face of Natasha Romanoff.

  
  
  


“Rogers, you motherfucker! Come on, we don’t have time for you to dissociate! We have mission to do!” she said, punctuating by shaking his shoulders aggressively. 

  
  


 

“...Mission? There’s a mission.”

  
  


 

Thor approached and put a hand on Natasha’s shoulder. “Maybe we should just leave him alone.”

  
  
  


“No!” Steve said. “No.”

  
  
  
“Hey, it’s cool man, we’re stuck in this theater anyway, it’s not like we could leave you alone if we had a choice,” Tony joked, his joke falling flat except Steve, who laughed a bit breathlessly.

  
  
  


Steve’s eyes slid toward the picture of the mopey-looking Bucky on the screen, before laughing for real this time.

  
  
  


Steve’s eyes lit up a bit before saying out of habit, “Jerk needs to cut his hair.”

  
  
  


Clint patted him a few times on the back as Bruce sighed heavily, relieved that Steve was back to the present.

 

  
  
Steve stood up gently, his feet lightly tapping the floor, before standing above an uncomfortable Laurel.

  
  
  


“Where is he now?” he asked in a quiet tone.

  
  


 

“Uh-”

  
  


 

“Where is he RIGHT NOW!”

  
  


 

Laurel looked up to meet his eyes, before exhaling, “You know I can’t tell you that…”

  
  


 

Steve retreated slightly. “Yeah, okay,” he said, wiping his nose. “Okay. So don’t joke around now. Where is he?”

  
  


 

Laurel stared back, as Steve turned around, staring once again at the Bucky on the screen.

  
  


 

He scrunched his nose as he tried to keep his emotions in. “He’s missing an arm. I can- stop that from happening and see him and it’ll all be okay.”

  
  


 

“It won’t,” Laurel told the truth. “You know that.”

  
  


 

Steve whirled around, pointing his finger straight at Laurel. “Absolutely not! NO! You didn’t know him! YOU didn’t see him fall! You aren’t the one who-” he cut off suddenly, with the rest of the team trying quietly to calm him down, to no avail. 

  
  


 

“You don’t know anything,” he said in a deadly tone.

  
  


 

Laurel shook her head. “You don’t think I know anything? That is what I am, that’s what my purpose  _ is! _ To know things! You don’t think I didn’t see him fall, you don’t think I haven’t seen every atrocity this world, and many more has ever  _ seen _ , ever  _ will see _ , and every terrible act that is happening right now?! I know and love every person, seen them at their highest and lowest, and I lose them all, I mourn for them all- I know an infinite amount of things, and by god, I try and I try to stop them from happening,  _ but NO _ ! It never works! Never, ever ever, it never works, it always goes wrong, I see it all, I can never stop it - and I thought, maybe this one time-”

  
  


 

Laurel rubbed her eyes as they blurred up. Oh god.

  
  


 

“I’m the one cursed with knowledge. So no, Steve, it’s you who doesn’t know  _ shit. _ ”

  
  
  


Bruce tapped Natasha on the shoulder. “Okay, so maybe we should leave  _ her  _ alone.”

  
  
  


Laurel laughed wetly. “Yeah, thanks, I’d like that.”

  
  
  


Thor sat next to her. “I’ve lived for thousands of years, and I’ve already seen enough. I can’t imagine - I’m sorry.”

  
  
  


“Why are you apologizing?”

  
  
  


“I don’t know. Seemed like the right sentiment.”

  
  
  


“Thanks anyway, Thor.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

Natasha was in the corner, leading Steve away.

  
  
  


“Did you hear her? She wouldn’t tell me!” Steve said angrily.

  
  
  


“Shut up,” Natasha said, eyes flashing dangerously. “You’re in a deep-ass hole right now, I can’t have you souring our relationship with our only major informant about our future. You better dig yourself out.”

  
  
  


“No,  _ Natasha- _ ” he said, as Natasha turned away from him.

  
  
  


He grabbed her arm. “What if it was Clint? What would you have done?”

  
  
  


Natasha wrenched her arm away, before tilting her head to the side.

  
  


 

“Probably the same damn thing you did, Rogers.”

  
  


 

Steve smiled somewhat victoriously.

  
  


 

“But this isn’t about Clint. This is about you,” she gritted, “and I get it, I really do. But Steve, you need to pull yourself together. We can help Bucky, we can get save him- but not right now.  Right now,  _ this  _ is our mission that we need to complete, and along with it-” she said, pointing her finger towards Laurel, who had her head on Thor’s shoulder- “comes staying on the good side of that person.”

  
  


 

“It’s  _ Bucky. _ ”

  
  


 

“And it’s our future. Now sit your ass down, we have a movie to watch.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wELP
> 
>  
> 
> am I okay at angst? I'm afraid I write into a spiral to where only I make sense of it
> 
> and if I do oh well i'll either need a person to beta read it which NOPE or you're getting bad angst :)


	32. How could this get worse? Oh WAIT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes it is me I am not dead woot woot
> 
> This one has a somewhat okay resolution for the last chapter? I honestly have no idea wtf I'm doing
> 
>  
> 
> However, with this scene we are officially HALFWAY THROUGH THE MOVIE! It's been a crazy ride over the past seven months, here's to *sigh*... seven more... but it'll be fun. I never imagined I'd make it this far or that it would've been so popular, and to all the 400 commenters, 900 kudos, 150 bookmarkers, and 23000 viewers, I really appreciate your time (or accidental misclick) into this fanfiction :D You guys keep me going when I want to quit, and I appreciate it so much

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy

_ In the last chapter: _

  
  


 

_ “It’s Bucky.” _

  
  


 

_ “And it’s our future. Now sit your ass down, we have a movie to watch.” _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 

\---

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

Tony sort of didn’t know what to do. Hell, even Bruce seemed to find a purpose for himself, even if it was just sitting down and staring real hard at the screen. He cleared his throat, and felt Steve’s eyes sliding over to him, a bit red. He walked over, sniffing a bit, sending a withered look towards Natasha’s back, which immediately got reciprocated with a middle finger behind the back.

  
  


 

Tony grinned. Steve was too old to even know to be offended. What fun. Clint snickered along too, before getting a somewhat aggressive side-arm hug from Natasha, which Laurel studied with interest, having finally peeled herself away from Thor. Her eyes softened a bit, before nestling back into her own seat.

  
  


 

Bruce looked over at Steve. “Not the happiest, huh?”

  
  


 

Understatement of the century. He looked like the flickering screen of an old black-and-white movie, thousands of indescribable emotions flickering across his face at an inhuman speed. The wide eyes of betrayal, the downward glance of doubt, the furrowed eyebrows of anger, the biting lips of indecisiveness, the deep sigh of exasperation, tumbling down his face in a current, all competing for who would come out on top.

 

 

 

Clint, walking over with a worried side glance at Steve, quickly said in a hushed voice, “What the  _ fuck  _ just happened?” Steve obviously heard, an unamused face joining the roster of emotions.

  
  


 

Steve laughed with no humor, pointing a slightly shaking finger at the screen, which contained the distraught, tired face of the ‘White Wolf’. “That, that is James Buchanan Barnes. The jerk.”

  
  


 

Bruce sat, rubbing his chin. “Interesting. Uh, who- uh,  _ how  _ the hell is he alive?”

  
  


 

Steve gestured angrily at the screen. “I have no idea, and Laurel won’t tell me where he is!”

  
  


 

Clint stuck his thumb at the barren wall behind him. Dryly, he pointed out, “Good luck finding Bucky without a door.”

  
  


 

“Priorities!” Natasha exclaimed from across the room, causing the group of men to look at her. 

  
  


 

“Ah, yes. Priorities,” Steve acknowledged dryly. “We have work to do that’s apparently more important than finding my dead best friend, but  _ sure!” _

  
  


 

“Time doesn’t pass here, dude!” Laurel exclaimed. “He’ll be fine as possible under his current circumstances. His, uh, yeah I’ve seen his... circumstances, he’ll be okay.”

  
  


 

“What  _ circumstances  _ are you talking about?!”Steve said staring at her, before rubbing his eyes. “I’m just not gonna even start with her. We have Natasha and Clint who could probably track him down anyways, we don’t even need her help to find him, not like she’s helping at all-”

  
  


 

“That’s the spirit?” Bruce said uncertainty, searching Clint and Tony’s faces for approval, to which he only got shrugs of confusion.

  
  


 

A quick wave of the hand and the movie was back on.

  
  


 

**“Where’s the fight?”**

  
  
  


**“On its way,”** **_T’Challa said with a regal seriousness._ **

  
  
  
**_The screen cut, to the strangely unpeaceful unconscious face of Strange, before the camera pulled back. As Strange stirred, large glass shards surrounded him, making hauntingly nice shimmering sounds as they approached closer and closer to his face. Panic flashed in his eyes for a second before he quickly schooled the emotion down._ **

  
  


 

**_The sickeningly smooth voice reappeared along with its unsightly body to become Ebony Maw, who was slowly approaching the levitating sorcerer._ **

  
  


 

**“In all the time I have served Thanos, I have never failed him.”**

  
  
  


Clint’s eyes widened. “Not Sorcerer guy!” he shouted, rubbing his head like he had a migraine. “That really sucks. I wanted him to be okay.”

  
  
  


**“If I am to reach our rendezvous on Titan with the Time Stone still attached to your vaguely irritating person, there would be… judgement,”** **_he continued on, willing the needles closer and closer to Strange’s face._ **

  
  


 

**_One pierced his skin, with a painful white glow emanating underneath the skin from where it stabbed into his face. Yet all he released was a small grunt of discomfort._ **

  
  


 

Tony watched the scene unfold in front of him with more empathy than he thought was possible for someone he was a self-proclaimed hater of.  _ He better fucking not, _ his internal monologue said while he watched the scene lay out in front of him. And when Ebony Maw did go through with the torture,  _ god  _ did he feel like flipping over a table. Not  _ one fucking thing  _ could ever go their way, huh? Time Stone? Captured! Mind Stone? Engraved in someone's skull and it just  _ had  _ to be someone they cared about! Space Stone? Captured! Power and Reality? Fucking  _ captured! _ God damn, they just needed a lucky break. But nope, never. Ugh.

  
  


 

**_Maw got increasingly quiet and closer to Strange._ ** **“Give me…”** **_he started, piercing more into Strange’s forehead, even causing the veins in his neck to starting glowing,_ ** **“...the Stone.”** **_He sent more shards aiming towards the Eye of Agamotto and it was repelled by Strange’s spell, as Strange simply stared ahead and let out a small noise of discomfort._ **

 

 

 

Clint looked about ready to leap through the screen and snap Maw’s neck right then and there, and would probably with his bare hands just to get brownie points with Natasha.  _ Nobody  _ messes with Dr. Strange, the awesome, ass-kicking, magical, probably-better-than-everyone-here-combined sorcerer without getting repercussions.

  
  


 

**_The screen cut to Tony, leaning over a ledge to watch the ongoing events from above, before he heard rustling next to him. Startled, he jumped and immediately pointed his repulsor, only to relax at the sight of the Cloak of Levitation._ **

  
  


 

**“Wow, you’re a seriously loyal pair of outerwear, huh?”** **_he started._ **

  
  


 

**_There was the slight sound of someone lowering behind them. Then a small voice said,_ ** **“Yeah, speaking of loyalty…”** **_It was Peter._ **

  
  


 

Well. Exactly  _ not  _ the break Tony was asking for.

  
  


 

Clint cackled a little bit. “Ooh, Tony, you got him during his rebellious phase, huh?”

  
  


 

“Mmhmm, who’s the one with two kids again?”

  
  


 

“Lila won’t be like that. Cooper definitely will. I can see it already,” Clint shivered. “Not looking forward to that. But don’t get me off topic, this is me laughing at you, not the other way ‘round.”

  
  


 

“Clint, this is  _ serious _ !” Natasha said, elbowing him. “Not now!”

  
  


 

_ Ah, kid. What have you gotten yourself into now?  _ Tony thought annoyedly.  _ I can already tell he’s going to be quite a little shit in the future. _

  
  


 

**_Let’s simply say that Tony’s face on the screen matched Tony’s face in the theater. (aka super fucking done)_ **

  
  


 

**“What the-”** **_Tony started._ **

 

 

 

**“I know what you’re gonna say,”** **_Peter tried to explain placatingly. It didn’t work._ **

  
  


 

**“You should not** **_be here-_ ** **”**

  
  


 

**“I was gonna go home!”**

  
  


 

**“I don’t wanna hear it.”**

  
  


 

**“But it was such a long way down! And I just thought about you on the way…”**

  
  


 

**“And now I gotta hear it-”**

  
  


 

**“-And this suit is ridiculously intuitive, by the way, so it’s kind your fault that I’m here-”**

  
  


 

**_Tony’s glare held so much heat that you could practically get a sunburn from it._ **

  
  


 

“Oh, come on!” Tony shouted. “Kid! You gotta be kidding me. He did not just really say that. Oh, my god.”

  
  


 

“Logically, it is kind of your fault-”

  
  


 

“Bruce, please, from the bottom of my heart, please shut up.”

  
  


 

Bruce obliged.

  
  


 

“It is  _ not  _ my fault! That suit saved his life but now it’s ‘mY fAuLt’ he used it to get here, this is absolute ridiculousness-”

  
  


 

“It’s not your fault,” Steve said. “Okay? We get it, you’re totally fine here.”

  
  


 

“Oh my god, what if it  _ was  _ my fault-”

  
  


 

“It wasn’t,” everyone chimed back. “Don’t worry about it,” Bruce chimed in. “It’s the future, it’s changeable. Maybe make it a little less intuitive, though.”

  
  


 

Tony’s face hardened. “Oh, definitely. He’s not gonna have acsess to all his features at first, and I’ll make sure to name it something super dumb like “Training Wheels Protocol” or something-”

  
  


 

**_Tony glared right through the stuttering form of Peter._ **

  
  


 

**“** **_What_ ** **did you just say?” he said offendedly.**

  
  


 

**“I- I take that back. And now I’m here. In space.”**

  
  


 

**“Yeah,”** **_Tony said seriously,_ ** **“Right where I didn’t want you to be. This isn’t Coney Island, this isn’t a field trip. It’s a one-way ticket, you hear me?”**

  
  


 

**_He saw the retort before it even came._ ** **“Don’t say you thought this through.”**

  
  


 

**“I** **_did_ ** **think this through-”**

  
  


 

**“You could not have possibly thought this through-”**

  
  


 

**“I DID think this through! It’s just- you can’t be a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man when there’s no neighborhood.”**

  
  


 

**_He gauged for Tony’s reaction, which came in as absolute silence._ **

  
  


 

**“...Okay, that didn’t really make any sense but you know what I’m trying to say!”**

  
  


 

**_The only response came in the form of a shaky exhale from Tony._ **

 

 

 

“I hate that his argument makes sense. Shit,” Tony said. “I mean, what can I even do in that future situation? Boot him out a spaceship going over Mach speed?”

  
  


 

“Instant death!” Thor supplied happily before being stared at.

  
  


 

“...yeah, I guess. You could, you know, hide him? Until you get back to Earth?” Bruce suggested.

  
  
  


**“Come on, we got a situation,”** **_Tony said, begrudgingly accepting the situation and walking towards the ledge once more, with Peter and the Cloak trailing him._ ** **“See him down there? He’s in trouble. What’s your plan? Go.”**

  
  


 

Tony just stared dumbly at his future self doing the opposite of hiding Peter away, instead putting him  _ right in the face  _ of danger. Way to fucking go! He could practically smell the other’s judgement from around him.

  
  


 

**_Peter, crouched down, studied the situation for approximately 1.5 seconds before coming up with an idea he had clearly been thinking about as soon as he realized he was in space._ **

  
  


 

**“Um, okay um.... You ever seen this really old movie Aliens?”**

  
  


 

“Really  _ old  _ movie?!” Clint exploded. “Oh Jesus, he really is an infant!”

  
  


 

“Did you know he once called  _ The Empire Strikes Back  _ really old, too?” Laurel supplied unhelpfully.

  
  


 

“No I didn’t, but that’s just egregious.  _ Millennials _ -”

  
  


 

“He’s a Gen Z.”

  
  


 

“ _ Gen Z _ -ers. Star Wars is old? That’s a tragedy.”

  
  


 

Laurel cackled to herself. They didn’t even know about the reboot yet.

  
  
  


**_The screen changed dramatically to Strange again, yelling in pain as the needles entered deeper and deeper._ **

  
  
  


**“Painful, aren’t they? They were originally designed for microsurgery. And any one of them…”** **_he started turning around to the sound of a small thump behind him. He summoned many large pieces of metal around him before turning to see Iron Man, fully suited up for the battle._ ** **“... could end your friend’s life in an instant.”**

  
  


 

**_Tony’s repulsors made the whine of a charge up, as he stood his ground._ ** **“I gotta tell you, he’s not really my friend. Saving his life is more of a professional courtesy.”**

  
  


 

“That’s harsh,” Clint accused. “He’s more than a friend at this point,  _ wouldn’t ya say _ ?” he said, raising his eyebrows.

  
  


 

“How about you have a nice healthy dose of shut the fuck up?”

  
  


 

“Seconded,” Natasha joined.

  
  


 

**_Maw advanced, beckoning even more metal._ ** **“You’ve saved nothing. Your powers are inconsequential compared to mine.”**

  
  


 

**_Tony didn’t even move._ ** **“Yeah, but the kid’s seen more movies,”** **_he said, before firing his rocket._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mmm how 'Bout dem Bills
> 
> Thanksgiving was the best football game I've watched since New Year's eve 2017 but the Ravens loss was disheartening yet not unexpected b/c they're the AFC seed 1 what're we supposed to do. At least we didn't get decimated
> 
> The Chiefs and Texans and Bengals v. Jets games though >:D it's always fun to watch division rivals lose especially the jets and dolphins and patriots. How the Eagles lost to the Dolphins though I have no fucking clue
> 
> This season is confusing af (thks for listening to my football rant and go Bills pls win a playoff game I beg thee)


	33. Merry Christmas with a side of Maw Icicles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Here's a long chapter after taking a vaca to England, MERRY CHRISTMAS :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** ** _!!!Please check out notes at end I need your help!!!_** ***

_ In the last chapter: _

  
  


 

**_Maw advanced, beckoning even more metal. “You’ve saved nothing. Your powers are inconsequential compared to mine.”_ **

  
  


 

**_Tony didn’t even move. “Yeah, but the kid’s seen more movies,” he said, before firing his rocket._ **

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

\---

  
  
  
  
  
  


 

**_The rockets, instead of heading towards Maw, hit the side of the ship. The vacuum of space took care of the rest, sucking out Maw along with all his demon glass shards._ **

  
  


 

**_Unfortunately, Strange carried along for the ride._ **

  
  
  


“Oh SHIT!” Clint exclaimed. “What?! Did Peter plan for this?!”

  
  


 

“I’m sure he did right?” Tony said worriedly. “I hope he did!”

  
  


 

“He  _ BETTER  _ have!”

  
  


 

**_The Cloak followed him, grasping onto his arm, before Strange’s arm slipped away and he continued to fly towards the vacuum of space._ **

  
  


 

“GET HIM CLOAKIE! ... _ damnit!”  _ Clint exclaimed. “There goes our one OP person!”

  
  


 

Natasha tutted. “He was our one big advantage against Thanos,” she said in a disappointed voice while Bruce watched the screen, knuckles pressed to his face.

  
  


 

Thor nodded. “At the very least, he helped to incapacitate Maw. His help was valuable.”

  
  


 

**_Peter swooped in, catching Strange once more before the piece of metal he used to stabilize himself broke off completely, leaving both of them to the mercy of space._ **

  
  
  


 

“YES PETER! ... _ oh NO!”  _ Tony screeched. “You better get your ass  _ out of that situation right now  _ or so help me! This is it,” he said throwing his hands in the air. “I am somewhat responsible for the death of a child.”

  
  


 

“A hypothetical situation for a future-person.”

  
  


 

“Oh yes, let me just reword that for you. I am the  _ HYPOTHETICAL  _ cause of a child’s death.” Steve stared at him, but didn’t say anything.

  
  
  


Bruce tilted his head. “Isn’t freezing in space one of the most painful deaths imaginable?”

  
  


 

_ “BRUCE!”  _ Natasha whisper-yelled as Tony turned white and grit his teeth. “That is the  _ worst  _ possible thing you could’ve said!”

  
  


 

Bruce put his hands up. “Sorry!” 

  
  


 

“It is survivable, I guess,” Thor intervened. “Loki survived it. But that might’ve been one of his illusions- but I have heard that it feels like being freezer-burned to death. Quite painful, I’d imagine.”

  
  


 

“ _ THOR!” _

 

 

Laurel shivered. It was terrible, but not even close to the worst she had ever experienced. Her thoughts drifted to Yondu, and she smiled to herself. She really had to check up on him, Kraglin, and the Ravagers more often.

  
  


 

**_As the pair sailed towards the exit, a quick sound of metal and unfolding glints of gold color led to Peter and Strange being stopped from their inevitable death by… spider legs?_ **

  
  


 

**“YES!”** **_Peter cheered, looking around for his savior, before seeing the metal emerging from his suit._ ** **“Wait, whAT ARE THOSE-”**

  
  


 

**_With a large leap, the legs propelled the two of them out of the vacuum’s reach. Tony reached over to plug the hole with nanites, leaving Maw to drift out to deep space - becoming one more casualty of the Infinity War._ **

  
  


 

Tony watched the screen in wonder as the crowd of six around him shouted and pumped their fists in the air in celebration of even the tiniest of victories. He admired both scenes unfolding in front of him; the high fives between Clint and Laurel as Bruce flipped his shit over the future technology of… compressing metal legs? Oh well. (They were totally awesome, though.)

  
  


 

Tony would be lying if he said he didn’t feel a little proud.

  
  


 

Natasha elbowed Steve with a small grin. “Didn’t think you’d be celebrating. You know, since it won’t happen and all.”

  
  


 

Steve looked at her out of the side of his eyes, choosing his words carefully. “Well, I know it won’t happen. Obviously,” he said while Natasha nodded along. “But, you know, this probably happened in some other timeline. I guess I’m happy for those future versions of us.”

  
  


 

Natasha bobbed her head in agreement. “It feels nice to not have to be the one having to deal with the problem for once. We just get to watch by the sideline. We’re the spectators for now,” she stated with a small sigh.

  
  


 

Steve look confused. “You do realize that…?”

  
  


 

Natasha scoffed. “That when we get out of here, we’ll be shooting ourselves headlong into the biggest problem of the universe? Yeah, I realize that.”

 

 

 

“Oh. I guess it is nice to celebrate for our hypothetical future us’s successes. But it’s just not worth it to make it worse by grieving for them.”

  
  


 

“Do you think those are real people?” Natasha questioned, before clarifying herself. “I mean, do you think that somewhere, sometime else that this hypothetical future actually…  _ happened _ ? Or will we completely prevent this from happening?”

  
  


 

_ “What?”  _ Steve said, utterly confused.

  
  


 

Natasha blew a small bit of flyaways from in front of her forehead. “I guess… do you think there’s a multiverse? And this is what happened to another universe already? Or do you think this would’ve been us, in the future, and our actions will stop this from happening,  _ ever _ ?”

  
  


 

Steve took a delicate pause. “I really don’t know,” Steve said, scratching his chin. “All I can say for certain is that  _ that-” _ he said, jabbing a finger at the screen, “Will never happen to  _ us _ .”

  
  


 

Natasha hummed in reply, dissatisfied with Steve’s answer.

  
  


 

**_While Dr. Strange ungracefully faceplanted onto a nearby pathway, Peter landed on his new legs, before retracting them and sticking his hand out to the nearby Cloak._ **

  
  


 

**“Hey, we haven’t officially met.”**

  
  


 

**_The Cloak drifted away after giving Peter a “look”. Peter rolled with the punches._ ** **“Cool.”**

  
  


 

Clint smirked. “Peter’s got great social skills,” he remarked. “Absolutely impeccable.” Tony kicked the back of his seat. “Hey, you don’t see me making remarks about Lila and Cooper! Not like they need it anyway. They lost the genetic pool automatically with  _ you  _ as their father, I honestly pity them-”

  
  


 

Clint turned in his seat, smirking heavily. “It is so fun to piss you off sometimes. Your face gets all scrunched up,” he said, punctuated by him pretending to squish Tony’s head. “You remind me of a chipmunk when you do that.”

  
  


 

Tony relaxed his face from where it was tensed up, while Nat continued the trend of smacking people, specifically Clint’s arm. “Oh,  _ very mature- _ ”

  
  


 

“Shutting up now.”

  
  


 

“Uh-huh. You do that.”

  
  


 

**_Tony walked past Strange, shaking his head like he was officially fucking done for the third time in the past half-hour (Accurate, may I say), while Strange pushed himself off the floor, becoming re-Cloaked. He stared at Tony as he stomped by._ **

  
  


 

**“We gotta turn this ship around,”** **_Strange said, stumbling to his feet._ **

  
  


 

**“Yeah,”** **_Tony acknowledged with a scoff,_ ** **“Now he wants to run. Great plan.”**

  
  


 

“Damn, gotta be so cold?” Clint said.

  
  


 

Tony shrugged. “He didn’t listen, look where that got us. That was all him.”

  
  


 

“I mean, he got you a free spaceship with free alien technology that could take you anywhere in the galaxy and makes you the most technologically advanced human to ever exist.”

  
  


 

Tony stared. “Bruce, are you serious?”

  
  


 

Bruce smiled. “He got you a spaceship, Tony. That’s something worth celebrating.”

  
  


 

Tony furrowed his brows. “How did you get in space for two years without an alien spaceship?” Bruce twitched a bit, while Tony’s eyes widened. “Oh shit, sorry? Sore subject?”

  
  


 

“Yep,” Bruce said with some effort as he clenched his teeth against thinking about  _ that  _ whole 2 years-as-Hulk-off-of-Earth  _ thing _ .

  
  


 

Natasha shrugged. “A spaceship is a spaceship, a dead enemy is a dead enemy, and nobody got hurt. It’s a win in my book, actually better than good. We have one of their weapons,” she said, getting excited as she talked.

 

 

 

“This is such a great opportunity for an espionage mission; get in their ranks in Wakanda as a Trojan Horse maneuver, and destroy them from the inside, and even if we can’t, their technology is so much better, imagine the possible  _ weapons _ -”

  
  


 

Steve smiled. “We take ‘em down with their own technology. Now we’re talking,” he smirked, rubbing his hands together.

  
  
  


**“No, I want to protect the Stone,”** **_he reiterated with a force behind his voice._ **

  
  


 

**_Tony strutted to the open window at the front of the ship, showing it going at warp speed._ ** **“And I want you to thank me now. Go ahead, I’m listening.”**

  
  


 

**“For what? Nearly blasting me into space?”**

  
  


 

**_Tony turned with a unbelieving look._ ** **“Who just saved your magical ass? ME!”** ****

  
  


 

**_Strange seemed weirdly blasé for just being in a hostage situation._ ** **“I honestly don’t know how you fit your head into that helmet.”**

  
  


 

Clint chuckled. “I like this guy.”

  
  


 

Thor slouched. “That’s about the 10th time you’ve said that.”

  
  


 

Tony sputtered. “I literally just saved him from  _ torture!  _ This is my thanks?”

  
  


 

Steve pointed at the screen. “I’ve never seen anyone ask for a thank you more condescendingly in my life.”

  
  


 

“I totally deserve one.”

  
  


 

Thor bit his lip. “Maybe he’s not thanking you because he craved the sweet release of death the entire time and you foiled his plan?”

  
  


 

“Thor, what the actual fuck?” Bruce asked.

  
  


 

Thor smirked. “I mean, he values a space rock over his own life.”

  
  


 

Tony paused from where a retort was on his lips, before he sagged in realization. “That’s actually kind of sad, valuing a rock over yourself.”

  
  


 

Thor pulled himself up. “It really is.”

  
  


 

Tony sprung right back up. “I still deserve a thank you!”

  
  


 

Laurel tipped her head back and shouted. “Fucking THANKS! There we go, you happy?”

  
  


 

Tony tapped his finger. “I guess so. I still want one from him specifically, though.”

  
  


 

**“Admit it. You should have ducked out when I told you to. I tried to bench you. You refused.”**

  
  


 

**_Strange stared off to the side in frustration._ ** **“Unlike everyone else in your life, I don’t work for you.”**

  
  


 

**“And due to that fact, we’re now in a flying doughnut, billions of miles away from Earth, with** **_no backup-_ ** **”**

  
  


 

**“I’m backup!”** **_Peter said quickly, raising his hand, before Tony gestured a wagging finger at him._ ** **“You’re not backup. You’re a stowaway,”** **_he continued, making a dismissive gesture._ ** **“The adults are talking.”** **_Peter put his hand down just as quickly._ **

  
  
  


“Jeez, Stark,” Bruce said. “That’s a bit...oof.”

  
  


 

Tony put his hands up. “Future me! And also, give me a break. I just had the weirdest hour of my life, forgive me if I’m a bit stressed.”

  
  


 

Laurel snickered. “Not even close.”

  
  


 

“Hmm?”

  
  


 

Laurel spoke up. “That’s not even close to the weirdest hour you’ve ever had.”

  
  


 

Tony stopped. “True. That night back in November 1993 was  _ really  _ weird-”

  
  


 

Laurel laughed. “That was weird, but that’s not it.”

  
  


 

“Wait, what happened then?” Clint asked in interest.

  
  


 

“You tell me what happened in Budapest first, hmmm?”

  
  


 

“Never,” Clint said stubbornly. Tony chuckled. “That’s what I thought. And this Dr. Strange guy somehow can’t seem to form the four syllables ‘I’, ‘am’, ‘sor’, and ‘ry’. It’s not that hard.”

  
  


 

**_Strange squinted his eyes and shook his head back and forth in between Peter and Tony._ ** **“I’m sorry, I’m confused as to the relationship here. Wh- what is he, your ward?”** **_he said, gesturing to Peter._ **

  
  


 

Bruce chuckled. “He technically said ‘I’m sorry’.”

  
  


 

Tony stared ahead. “I didn’t mean a  _ sorry  _ like that, I meant- ! Oh, forget it.”

  
  


 

“What even is a ward?” Steve questioned. “Sounds medieval.”

  
  


 

Clint shrugged. “I honestly don’t know. But this guy really likes to use medieval language. I can still remember future Tony’s face when Strange said ‘hitherto undreamt of’. It’ll become a classic, for sure.”

  
  


 

Tony pointed at Clint. “You, hush. Just shut up. You lower the iQ of the entire magical realm we’re in whenever you speak.”

  
  


 

Laurel whispered at Bruce, “Clint isn’t a statistical outlier, that’s certain.” Bruce laughed along with her as Steve flicked his eyes over to them, but didn’t try to enter the conversation.

  
  


 

“Also,” Natasha supplied, “A ward is an archaic term for someone who guards or protects. So technically Peter is your ward.”

  
  


 

“Hmmmm _ mmmm  _ no. I don’t think he is.”

  
  


 

**“No,”** **_Peter defended immediately._ ** **“I’m Peter, by the way.”**

  
  


 

**“Dr. Strange,”** **_he replied, nodding in Peter’s direction._ **

  
  


 

**_Peter recoiled a bit._ ** **“Oh, we’re using our made-up names.”** **_He shuffled a bit._ ** **“Um, I’m Spider-Man, then.”** **_Strange stared at him with a dead look in his eye before shaking his head and turning away from the conversation._ **

  
  


 

Natasha facepalmed. “How does this kid keep a secret identity?”

  
  


 

Tony shrugged. “I honestly have no idea. He probably has introduced himself by name to all of New York by now.”

  
  


 

Natasha gestured broadly. “I know right! At this point you think there would be someone with loose lips and the media would make a frenzy of it.”

  
  


 

Laurel, let’s say, had some  _ conflicting feelings  _ about this.

  
  


 

She started in a high voice. “Um, maybe them finding out his identity is a good thing in the long run-?”

  
  


 

“Are you mental?” Tony scoffed. “Keeping his identity a secret is the opposite of a problem.”

  
  


 

Laurel’s voice cracked. “Umm… for now, yeah - but later, no. It’s kind of a huge problem.”

  
  


 

Natasha squinted. “Will we get answers later?”

  
  


 

Laurel nodded. “Yes, yes of course.”

  
  


 

**_Tony continued on._ ** **“This ship is self-correcting its course. Thing’s on autopilot.”**

  
  


 

**“Can we control it? Fly us home?”** **_Strange asked. Tony looked to the side, enveloped in his own mind, before Strange grew impatient._ ** **“Stark?”**

  
  


 

**“Yeah?”**

  
  


 

**“Can you get us home.”**

  
  


 

**“Yeah, I heard you. I’m thinking…”** **_Tony continued, looking anywhere but into Strange’s eyes._ ** **“I’m not so sure we should.”**

  
  


 

**“Under** **_no_ ** **circumstances can we bring the Time Stone to Thanos!”** **_Strange said, appalled by the thought of it._ **

  
  


 

Natasha gaped. What was this  _ idiot  _ trying to do? Go TO THANOS? On his turf? With a home advantage, and he probably already knows that something is wrong with Maw- just, WHY?!

  
  


 

Thor squinted. “That’s the worst idea I think I’ve ever heard.”

  
  


 

Steve stared at Tony. “Are you sure your future self knows what he’s doing?”

  
  


 

Tony looked furious. “I hate this as much as you! We should just regroup, it’s that simple, meet up in Wakanda! And return Peter home, he should  _ not  _ be going to space at all right now, and who’s to say that Thanos will even be where its’ going? What if he leaves?! There’s way to many variables and risks for this to be a good idea!”

  
  


 

Natasha clapped slowly. “Read my fucking mind. Future you is a dumbass and if he’s the reason that this ‘terrible event’ Laurel describes happens, I swear to whatever God you believe in that I will put you with Bruce in the Not-Allowed-To-Go-To-Space club. And the You-Can’t-Make-Battle-Plans club.”

  
  


 

Laurel shrugged. “It kind of is Tony’s fault.”

  
  


 

Tony choked. “It is my fault?”

 

 

 

Laurel’s eyes widened. “Wait, shit! No, I was gonna make an inspiring speech about how you all were absolute ignorant planners in this movie, not just you - wait,  _ shit!” _

  
  


 

“I am  _ not  _ an ignorant planner!” Natasha said grumpily.

  
  


 

“Uh-huh,” Laurel placated. “Just not in 6 years.”

  
  


 

“You are frighteningly close to my kill list right now.”

  
  


 

Laurel snorted. “Good luck with that. Anyways, Tony it isn’t just you! It’s everybody’s fault!”

  
  


 

“Wow, I feel so much fucking better,” Tony said sarcastically with a slight strain.

  
  


 

“Like, it’s kind of Strange’s fault.”

  
  


 

“Seconded,” Tony said with a small smile. “Douche. Didn’t even get a thanks yet.”

  
  


 

“And it’s kind of Peter’s fault-”

  
  


 

Tony made a begrudging acknowledgement of that fact before waving Laurel off. “Okay, okay, I get it.”

  
  


 

**_Strange stared Tony down._ ** **“I don’t think you get quite what’s at stake here.”**

  
  


 

**_Tony stalked over to Strange, pointing an accusing finger._ ** **“No, It’s** **_you_ ** **who doesn’t understand, that Thanos has been inside my head for** **_six years_ ** **since he sent an army to New York and now he’s** **_back!_ ** **And I don’t know what to do. So I’m not so sure that if it’s a better plan to fight him on our turf or his, but you saw what they did, what they can do. At least on his turf, he’s not expecting it. So** **_I_ ** **say we take the fight to him.”**

  
  


 

**_Strange’s expression didn’t change a bit._ **

  
  


 

**_Neither did Tony’s._ ** **“** **_Doctor,” he said in a mocking voice,_ ** **“Do you concur?”**

 

 

 

“What. The. Fu-”

  
  


 

“He’s been in my head for  _ six YEARS?!? _ Laurel! No, I- since New York, what I- huh?!”

  
  


 

“Wait, has he been literally  _ in  _ Tony’s head?” Bruce said, worried. “Like, is he possessed or something?”

  
  


 

“Did Loki’s spear actually work?” Tony said fearfully.

  
  


 

Laurel tried to intervene. “Wait-”

  
  


 

“Loki’s spear- wait,” Clint said in horror, “Did he get you too?”

  
  


 

Tony didn’t respond.

  
  


 

Clint shook him. “Tony, did you get touched by that damn spear?!”

  
  


 

Tony stuttered, “I thought it didn’t do anything. It hit my arc reactor and he acted like it wasn’t working so I assumed that it wasn’t and Thanos is  _ in my head- _ ”

  
  


 

Clint recoiled. “Jesus Christ,” he muttered.

  
  


 

Laurel screamed. “Fucking LISTEN! He’s fine! It wasn’t that spear!”

  
  


 

Clint squinted his eyes. “We can’t be sure.”

  
  


 

Laurel knocked him upside the head. “You’re a fucking spy, does it look like he has blue eyes to you, you dingus?!”

  
  


 

Clint sighed. “Oh, gimme a break, I was - worried.”

  
  


 

“Yeah, okay,” Laurel said.

  
  


 

“What did he mean, then? By Thanos being in his head since technically an hour ago?” Tony shivered at the thought.

 

 

 

Laurel shrugged. “It’s kind of part of a movie?”

  
  


 

Natasha snapped. “Laurel, this is of  _ vital importance,  _ if Thanos knows what we’re doing through Tony we need to immediately take measures, and we don’t have time to watch a movie to figure out what it is! Tell us!”

  
  


 

“Calm thyself!” Laurel tutted, much to Natasha’s annoyance. “It’s not that, it’s just-”

  
  


 

“It’s  _ what _ ?” Natasha continued.

  
  


 

“It’s not dangerous!” Laurel sighed. “You’ll be fine.”

  
  


 

Natasha steamed at the ears.

  
  


 

Laurel was at a loss. “Alrighty!” she said, with fake cheer. “Shall we just…” she said, gesturing at the screen, “yeah?”

  
  


 

Bruce gave her a tentative go ahead, which was responded with an overly enthusiastic “Okay!” and the playing movie, which didn’t really distract the audience (cough Nat cough) as she hoped it would.

  
  


 

But it played on anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, I have a huge fucking problem.
> 
> This story got copyright claimed. 
> 
> It's by an anonymous user, not an owner account or a established admin, which is suspicious to me; it could be a troll. Their comment is on chapter 3, if you want to check it out. Can anyone help me verify it, and if it is real, what should I do? Fight for the story? Repost it on a different site? Make my own website for this specifically? I need your input dudes, this is my first time ever getting copyrighted :/


	34. Thanos is a Dick to his Children Pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Troll has gone with anonymous comment disabling, but I have turned on comment moderation too just in case. Thanks for the support, a lot more people got triggered on my behalf than I originally thought,,, so thanks :D

_In the last chapter:_

 

 

 

_aurel was at a loss. “Alrighty!” she said, with fake cheer. “Shall we just…” she said, gesturing at the screen, “yeah?”_

  
  


 

_Bruce gave her a tentative go ahead, which was responded with an overly enthusiastic “Okay!” and the playing movie, which didn’t really distract the audience (cough Nat cough) as she hoped it would._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**_\---_ **

 

 

 

**_Dr. Strange stared coldly into Stark’s eyes._ ** **“Alright Stark, we go to him. But you have to understand, if it come to saving you, or the kid, or the Time Stone… I will not** **_hesitate_ ** **to let either of you die.”**

  
  


 

Tony grit his teeth. “Are we sure this guy is the right fit for the team? He’s kind of, oh I don’t know, a jerk that doesn’t care if we die?”

  
  


 

Steve clicked his tongue. “Yeah, I’m not so sure about this guy right now…”

  
  
  


Nat shook her head. “He has his priorities in the right place, in my opinion. It could be you guys or half the universe, and if it came to that...”

  
  


 

Steve sighed. “We don’t trade lives, Nat.”

  
  


 

“Correction,” Clint interrupted, “You don’t. Dr. Strange obviously doesn’t, and who knows? It may end up saving the universe.”

  
  


 

“Wait wait, wait. You  _ want  _ Tony to die? Vision? Peter?”

  
  


 

Clint looked offended. “Of course not! I’m just saying that in the  _ hypothetical _ , completely hypothetical situation here, some people may, uh,” he gestured a line across his throat. “You know? For the greater good. And I accept that.”

  
  


 

Steve stared dumbly, before turning with a hand to his temples like he was massaging a migraine. “Jesus Christ…”

  
  


 

Clint sputtered. “What do you want me to say, man? Laurel already confirmed that some people die, you just don’t want to put that thought through your brain!”

  
  


 

Steve spun. “Excuse me, she said that in this hYpoTheTiCaL situation that some people die, but nobody’s dying in this reality! Nobody, that’s who. We’re going to stop it.” he said firmly.

  
  


 

Bruce sideyed Steve. “Thanos will still die, right?”

  
  


 

Steve nodded. “Of course, yeah. I meant, like… good people. Nobody will have a hair misplaced on their head if I have any say in it.”

 

 

 

“That’s the dream,” Natasha said.

  
  


 

**_Tony didn’t let a trace of emotion enter his face, instead deciding to pat Strange on the shoulders._ ** **“Good, great. Moral compass.”** **_He turned to Peter, who stood stoically as Tony dubbing him like a knight. Tony didn’t look him in the eye._ **

  
  


 

**“Alright kid. You’re an Avenger now.”**

  
  


 

**_As Tony walked away, Peter stared after him, before smiling, proud at himself. He then stood up straight, with a renewed sense of determination._ **

  
  


 

Tony stared at the screen, before clapping his hands. “That was a stupid move, but I guess that’s what we’re working with.”

  
  


 

Natasha shrugged. “I mean, it’s… motivation, I guess.”

  
  


 

Bruce smiled. “Didn’t think it would be such an honor to be an Avenger.”

  
  


 

Tony smirked. “I mean, come on. I’m part of it, so it  _ has  _ to be an honor-”

  
  


 

“Ah, yes,” Thor commented. “Please shut up. You, uh, don’t really have anything smart to say.”

  
  


 

Tony retracted, obviously offended. “Well damn! I can be smart. Look,” he said gesturing to the screen. “I am smart enough to determine that from here, well… shit. We’re kind of screwed.”

  
  


 

“At least you have a plan,” Thor commented. “We may be split up in the future, but we all have a game plan.”

  
  


 

Natasha shrugged. “We may have plans, but they conflict. Instead of regrouping, we’re splitting up. It’s not  _ that  _ smart.”

  
  


 

**_The camera switched to a view of Thanos’s ship, the Sanctuary II, with many ring ships coming in and out of it like a mini highway system._ **

  
  


 

Natasha smirked. “It seems we have a home base.”

  
  


 

Tony squinted. “If the ring ships are about the size of two city blocks, and at this angle,” he stuck his thumb out, trying to get proportions, before lowering his hand. “Shit,” he laughed softly. “That ship is at least 25 miles long. Probably longer.”

  
  


 

Laurel nudged him. “It’s called Sanctuary II. There’s one before it, he changes it out in 2014-ish.”

  
  


 

Clint rose his eyebrows. “Really? Getting into Sanctuary II looks pretty… well, impossible with current technology. Either we better get really technologically advanced or we gotta get the Thanos problem dealt with before 2014.”

  
  


 

Laurel bit her lip. “That problem is, a lot of events happen in and after 2014 that would be great if they happened. If Thanos is dealt with before 2014, the Guardians never get created and other stuff.”

  
  


 

Clint twisted his hand in a  _ maybe?  _ Gesture. “It’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make here. Based on my knowledge, Wanda and Vision still happen? Dr. Strange?”

  
  


 

Laurel bit her cheek. “That’s a yes to Wanda and Strange, but with Vision… no, I don’t think so.”

  
  


 

“Isn’t that a good thing? Not to have a person attached to the Mind Stone, so we don’t have to worry about…” she gestured in Steve’s general area. “Lives taken?”

  
  


 

Laurel shrugged. “It’s either you have to develop new technology or Vision never exists at all, really. And I’d much prefer the former.” Clint pursed his lips in silent thought.

  
  


 

**_Gamora sat on the steps to a small throne, before standing as Thanos entered the room. He approached with a small bowl of food._ **

  
  


 

**“I thought you might be hungry,”** **_he offered._ **

  
  


 

**_Gamora breathed heavily, taking the bowl into her hands, staring at it. She stared Thanos directly in the eye and threw it violently at the foot of the throne, making the deafening sound of metal on metal._ **

 

 

 

**“I always hated that chair,”** **_she said, venom spilling from her tone._ **

  
  


 

**“So I’ve been told. Even so… I’d hoped you’d sit in it one day.”**

  
  


 

**_Gamora stared ahead._ ** **“I hated this room. This ship. I hated my** **_life_ ** **,”** **_she said breathlessly, before turning and stalking away._ **

  
  


 

**_Thanos’s voice stopped her._ ** **“You told me that, too. Everyday, for almost 20 years.”**

  
  


 

“This motherfucker,” Nat chuckled darkly. “Acting like he cares.”

  
  


 

Clint shook his head with little conviction. “He doesn’t…  _ deserve  _ it,” he spit.

  
  


 

Tony looked at Clint, surprised at his tone while Clint continued to get mad. “Freakin’ Thanos, god… ugh!”

  
  


 

“You… you good?”

  
  


 

Clint gestured wildly. “I just can’t… I can’t fathom it! How could he make someone hate their life so much and have the absolute nerve to call them their daughter?” His face crumpled up with disgust. “That’s not how parents act. He actually sounds like he  _ cares _ . Freaking Thanos.”

  
  


 

Bruce nodded. “Every time you think he can’t get worse, he just… he finds a way.”

  
  
  


Clint grunted in agreement, while Laurel scoffed. “Trust me, you haven’t seen anything yet,” she said in the lightest tone she could muster.

  
  
  


**“I was a child when you took me,”** **_Gamora continued._ **

  
  


 

**“I** **_saved_ ** **you,”** **_Thanos stressed._ **

  
  


 

**_Gamora turned back around to gaze at Thanos._ ** **“No,”** **_she denied._ ** **“No, we were happy on my home planet.”**

  
  


 

**“Going to bed hungry, scrounging for scraps,”** **_Thanos defended._ ** **“Your planet was on the brink on collapse. I’m the one who stopped that. Do you know what’s happened since then? The children born have known nothing but full bellies and clear skies. It’s a paradise.”**

  
  


 

“They have known nothing but extinction,” Thor said angrily. “Does he not know this? Or is this just manipulation?”

  
  


 

Laurel shrugged. “I think it’s a bit of both, honestly.”

  
  
  


Thor exhaled sharply. “Paradise,” he repeated

  
  
  


**“Because you murdered half the planet,”** **_Gamora said, utter loathing in her voice._ **

  
  
  


**“A small price to pay for salvation.”**

  
  
  


“What?!” Steve cried. “Is he joking? Killing half a population for the other half to- this guy’s insane!”

  
  


 

Natasha bit her lip. “That’s not right.”

  
  


 

Steve pointed at the screen. “This,  _ this  _ is what I’m talking about! If we allow people to die for the cause, when does it become one too many? Where do we draw the line? At 10 deaths, or 20, or 50? Or do we become the people who kill half the population trying to save the other half?”

  
  


 

“Steve,  _ Steve  _ calm thyself-”

  
  


 

“Or! We could draw the line at 0, no casualties.” Steve continued. 

  
  
  


Natasha sighed. “If everything goes off without a hitch, no one will die. But you have to be  _ ready  _ and  _ prepared  _ for plans to not work!”

  
  
  


Steve crossed his arms. “That’s what the Time Stone is for. And when you say, ‘Oh, what if we lose it?’ We’ll just use it before we lose it.”

  
  
  


Natasha sighed. “Alright, we’ll talk strategy later.”

  
  
  
**“You’re insane.”**

  
  
  


**“Little one, it’s a simple calculus. This universe is finite, its resources finite. If life is left unchecked, life itself will cease to exist. It needs correction.”**

  
  


 

**“You DON’T KNOW THAT!”** **_Gamora yelled in anguish._ **

  
  


 

**“I’m the only one who knows that,”** **_Thanos replied bitterly._ ** **“At least, I’m the only one who will act on it.”**

  
  


 

Bruce paled slightly. “I hate to say it, but… his math, it checks out. He has a logical argument.”

  
  


 

Bruce immediately was skewered with the glare of the other six. “No, no wait!” he scrambled. “I obviously don’t want, you know,  _ that _ , but I’m just saying!”

  
  


 

Laurel grit her teeth. “Bruce, I’m happy and all, but maybe  _ don’t  _ try to argue that a mass murderer’s argument makes sense.”

  
  


 

Bruce cleared his throat. “Uh, yeah.”

  
  


 

**_Thanos got up and started towards Gamora._ ** **“For a time…** **_you_ ** **… had that same will, as you fought by my side. Daughter…”**

  
  


 

**“I’m not your daughter,”** **_Gamora said, barely audible._ ** **“Everything I hate about myself, you taught me.”**

  
  


 

**“And in doing so, I made you the fiercest woman in the galaxy. That’s why I trusted you to find the Soul Stone.”**

  
  


 

**“I’m sorry I disappointed you,”** **_she replied in a small voice._ **

  
  


 

**“I’m not disappointed because you didn’t find it,”** **_he said, leaning down to whisper in her ear._ ** **“But because you did. And you** **_lied_ ** **.”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am about ready to strangle someone because of that damned football game with the Bills v. Texans. I swear after this week I will never bring its memory back, it pains me so


	35. Thanos is a Dick to his Children Pt. 2

_ In the last chapter: _

  
  


 

**_“And in doing so, I made you the fiercest woman in the galaxy. That’s why I trusted you to find the Soul Stone.”_ **

  
  


 

**_“I’m sorry I disappointed you,” she replied in a small voice._ **

  
  


 

**_“I’m not disappointed because you didn’t find it,” he said, leaning down to whisper in her ear. “But because you did. And you lied.”_ **

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

\---

  
  
  
  
  
  


“Oh shit, what?!” Clint said, surprised. “She  _ knew?! _ ”

  
  


 

Natasha groaned. “Everybody has a fucking secret in the future! Is it so hard to let people know things?!”

  
  


 

Laurel gestured. “The more people she tells, the more people Thanos could get information from. That’s why, uh, she asked for the planned murder by Quill.”

  
  


 

Steve lit up. “Guys, this is so  _ good _ , we have someone who knows where the Soul Stone is!” Then it hit Steve. “Oh my gosh, so does Thanos. But if Thanos knows where it is, so will we.”

  
  


 

Tony rubbed the heel of his palm into his eyes. “Jesus Christ,” he muttered. “This isn’t gonna be pretty.”

  
  


 

Bruce tried to hold out hope. “How do you know it’ll get worse?”

  
  


 

“Bruce, what’s the most Thanos-like way to coerce information out of someone? ‘Cause it sure ain’t giving them a gift and asking nicely.”

  
  


 

Bruce gulped. “Well, shit.”

  
  


 

**_The scene switched to a door opening, which let Gamora and Thanos into a room. Gamora inhaled a sharp breath, before hurrying to the side of a floating sigure, their metal body parts pulled apart painfully._ **

  
  


 

**“Nebula.”**

  
  
  


“Nebula? Who’s that?” Natasha asked quickly.

  
  


 

“Her sister,” Laurel replied.

  
  


 

“Dammit!” Tony shouted. “I should’ve known. It’s just not Thanos without manipulating people with the ones they love.”

  
  


 

Natasha lowered her head. “Does seem to be a trend… one that we’ll definitely have to look out for.” Clint and Steve looked alarmed at this.

  
  


 

Thor shook angrily. “This is just what he did to me and Loki-” he cut off, swallowing thickly, eyes hardening. “He takes a wretched  _ joy  _ in tearing families apart.”

  
  


 

“He actually doesn’t take joy in it,” Laurel said disgustedly. “And I don’t know if that makes it better or worse. He thinks that it’s his duty.”

  
  


 

“What, to torture his own daughters for a stupid magic pebble?” Bruce said. “Doesn’t seem like he’s against it!”

  
  


 

**“Don’t do this,”** **_Gamora breathed, not taking her eyes off of her sister._ **

  
  


 

**“Some time ago, your sister snuck aboard this ship to kill me.”**

  
  


 

**“** **_Please_ ** **don’t do this,”** **_Gamora pleaded._ **

  
  


 

**“And very nearly succeeded,”** **_Thanos continued, blocking out his daughters’ pain._ ** **“So I brought her here. To talk.”**

  
  


 

“Oh,  _ Nebula _ …”

  
  


 

“She thought she could take on Thanos? By herself?” Natasha shook her head.

  
  


 

“She’s a lone wolf,” Laurel explained.

  
  


 

“Lone wolves starve to death without a pack, Laurel,” Bruce explained. “Why didn’t she stay with Gamora?”

  
  


 

“...There’s tension.”

  
  


 

“Enough to go on a suicide mission?” Clint sighed, “I mean, it just doesn’t make any sense!”

  
  


 

“She wanted to kill Thanos, and if she died along the way, she didn’t really care,” Laurel said irritably.

  
  


 

Steve sighed loudly.

  
  


 

**_Thanos curled his fist, activating the Space and Power Stones, staring down at Nebula with thinly veiled hatred as he caused her parts to stretch outward. Nebula screamed._ **

  
  


 

**“Stop. Stop it,”** **_Gamora went, begging._ ** **“I swear to you on my life, I never found the Soul Stone.”**

  
  


 

**_Thanos tugged his arm out of her grasp, before nodding to a servant who turned on a control panel._ **

  
  


 

**_A hologram started to come out of Nebula’s head, playing a memory._ **

  
  


 

“This is so shitty. I hate this,” Clint said, trying to stay neutral while contempt snuck through the cracks of his facade. “I actually  _ hate  _ this with every fiber of my being.”

 

 

 

“We all do,” Nat reassured. “He will pay for what he’s done. Or will do.”

  
  


 

**_A hologram Gamora appeared, before the disembodied voice of Nebula came into the picture._ ** **“You know what he’s about to do. He’s finally ready, and he’s going for the Stones. All of them.”**

  
  


 

**“He can never get them all,”** **_Memory Gamora replied._ **

  
  


 

**“He will!”**

  
  


 

**“He can’t, Nebula,”** **_Memory Gamora snapped._ ** **“Because I found the map to the Soul Stone. And I burned it. I burned it to ash.”**

  
  


 

**_The hologram faded, ending the memory._ **

  
  


 

Bruce covered his face. “Oh my god, there’s no way she’s getting out of this.”

  
  


 

“She can’t deny it anymore,” Steve said, somewhat shook. “Thanos knows.”

  
  


 

“This is bad. This is so so bad,” Thor chuckled darkly.

  
  


 

“...At least we’ll know where it is too,” Steve reasoned. “It’s good that we’ll… know this.”

  
  


 

“We need to know where it is, too. And I don’t think Gamora will just tell us,” Nat said.

  
  


 

“No,  _ no- _ ” Tony protested. “This is completely horrible! You seriously are trying to find an upside in this?”

  
  


 

“If it helps with our strategy, I’m all for it,” Nat said, daring Tony to complain.

  
  


 

**_Thanos started to pace around Gamora._ ** **“You’re strong. Me. You’re generous. Me.”** **_He stopped._ ** **“But I never taught you to lie. That’s why you’re so** **_bad_ ** **at it,”** **_he spat, disgusted._ **

  
  


 

**_He growled,_ ** **“Where is the Soul Stone?”** **_At Gamora’s silence and the minute shake of the head from Nebula, Thanos once again clenched his fist, causing Nebula to go through another round of torture._ **

  
  
  
  
  


**_After a few agonizing moments…_ **

  
  
  
  
  


**_“_** **VORMIR!** ** _”_** **_Gamora shouted. Thanos let go of Nebula, who took heaving breaths. Gamora walked up to her and pressed her hand to Nebula’s fac ein a loving caress._** **“The Stone is on Vormir,”** ** _she whispered._**

  
  


 

“Vormir. That’s where it’s at,” Steve breathed, adrenaline from watching still running through him. “Vormir.”

  
  


 

“Quick, Bruce, ever heard of a planet named Vormir?”

  
  


 

“No, I’ll ask Dr. Foster-”

  
  


 

“Don’t, I know what that planet is,” Thor said. “It’s been abandoned for years. Nobody lives there, and I think Thanos is the main cause of that,” Thro said bitterly.

  
  


 

“Wait, so if it’s there, why didn’t he get it on the first sweep around? That doesn’t make any sense,” Natasha said.

  
  


 

“Thanos used to not be searching for the Stones. Prepped for them, sure, but actually seeking them out? That didn’t happen until more recently.” Laurel supplied.

  
  


 

“Alright. So, Vormir it is,” Natasha said. “Thor, you know how to get there?”

  
  


 

“As long as the Bifrost exists, I can go wherever I need.”

  
  


 

“Great,” Natasha smiled. “Can I put you on Soul Stone duty?”

  
  


 

Laurel interrupted. “Don’t be making plans just yet about that!” she said shakily. “There’s more you need to know.”

  
  


 

**_Thanos smiled with satisfaction._ ** **“Show me,”** **_he commanded._ **

**Author's Note:**

> OK, so.
> 
> This work is my baby. Don't touch. My baby.
> 
> If someone copies or cross-posts this without my permission there will be hell to pay.
> 
> Because I'm proud of it.
> 
> (Also I don't own any of these characters Marvel owns them)
> 
> OK have a swell day


End file.
